TooAccepting32 Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 I'm dating this guy who is pretty effeminate. His body language, the way he talks... He's attracted to women, but that doesn't mean he's not attracted to men. I know I'm ignorant about this, which is why I'm coming here to get some opinions. I've never known a man who appears gay, who isn't in fact gay or bisexual. Have any of you known men who appeared gay who were straight? I don't think there's anythign wrong with bisexuality or homosexuality, I just don't want to date someone who is in the closet.
AHardDaysNight Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 People assume I'm gay all the time when I'm not. It drive me up the wall! I like some pop stars (like Katy Perry, Avril Lavigne, Christina Aguilera, Britney Spears), like some tv shows like Desperate Housewives and Brothers and Sisters, watch Lifetime movies (and enjoy them), have sort of a girly voice, have long hair and a beard, etc. It just goes to show how stupid gender stereotypes are. I never have played by the rules, I like what I like. And what I DO like is women; I find them physically attractive, arousing, and appealing. Other guys do nothing for me (other than I consider some to be good friends.) I was hit on by a gay guy once. I was flattered, but was sort of like, "What am I supposed to do with that?!" Because I am not gay, therefore I found nothing attractive about being hit on by another guy!
USMCHokie Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 I was once told as a straight guy that if you're being hit on by a gay guy, then you're probably doing something right...
Cracker Jack Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 Was also hit on by a gay guy before. Felt weird, man:laugh:
AHardDaysNight Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 I was once told as a straight guy that if you're being hit on by a gay guy, then you're probably doing something right... Well, I was skinny and about 5 years younger, so perhaps I should lose weight?
USMCHokie Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 Well, I was skinny and about 5 years younger, so perhaps I should lose weight? Truth. Hit the gym and cut your hair. Before you know it you'll be drownin' in dudes.
Author TooAccepting32 Posted November 2, 2011 Author Posted November 2, 2011 I take it you've never been to Brooklyn? lol nope !
Author TooAccepting32 Posted November 2, 2011 Author Posted November 2, 2011 Truth. Hit the gym and cut your hair. Before you know it you'll be drownin' in dudes. LOLOL.... USNCHokie: How gay are we talking? Pretty gay.... People assume he's my gay friend when we hang out... even other guys. Ahardaysnight: Thank you for your answer. I particularly like what you said about gender stereotypes and not playing by the rules. Maybe more men would "appear gay" if they did everything they truly liked.
dasein Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 Who cares what "people" think? People, male and female, often have ulterior motives for subtly putting down or categorizing those you are romantically involved with. I have a friend from HS whom women to this day 20 years later sit around and talk about how he must be gay. I know for a stone cold fact, based on the kind of exotic entertainment he spends thousands of dollars on and has for years that he isn't gay. When told of this, they don't care, they still sit around and talk about his "gayness." I gotta call you out some here, you make this thread without giving any sexual details at all. I understand if you want to maintain privacy about your sex habits, but those are the MOST determining factors of how masculine or feminine someone you are dating is, wouldn't you agree? So without expecting you to answer if you don't want to, does he get hard when you are making out? Does he have any trouble maintaining an erection during sex? ejaculating? If you haven't had sex, has he had GFs in the past? does he touch you and kiss you frequently or not? etc. etc. you get the idea. Another thing is where is he from? What social class was his upbringing? Schooling? etc. Lots of Americans think normal hetero British men of higher social classes seem gay for example, is that a type of possibility with your guy?
AHardDaysNight Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 Truth. Hit the gym and cut your hair. Before you know it you'll be drownin' in dudes. I was skinny with no muscle, and had hair down to my shoulders, dude. Actually, as soon as I got a really short haircut, the girls stopped showing interest. I've told you about all the chances I've had, right? Most of those were when I had extremely long hair.
ShannonMI Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 I was once told as a straight guy that if you're being hit on by a gay guy, then you're probably doing something right... Yes. It means you take care of yourself and take pride in your appearance. I had a boyfriend who would always get hit on by gay guys and he would ask me why. I told him it was because he was good looking and was always well dressed and well groomed. That's essentially what it is. Not that you act effeminate or give off a gay vibe. It's because they look good. What I don't understand is why gay guys hit on men they don't know are gay or straight. I had a gay guy friend that hit on a straight guy who he KNEW was straight and he was threatened with physical harm. The straight guy wanted to beat the sh*t out of him. It was foolish for my gay friend to even try to hit on this dude, but whatever. There are a lot of close minded people out there that would take serious offense to being hit on by someone who is gay. It's a slippery slope. If I were gay I would make damn sure the person I was hitting on was gay as well.
AHardDaysNight Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 Yeah, I've always tended to be a metrosexual. But another thing is that gay guys can determine if you are desperate or not. Just like girls. Since I wasn't desperate for a relationship at that time, him hitting on me was not out of the ordinary. I was also hit on by his female friend, who I wasn't physically attracted to, either.
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