mb88 Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 About 2 weeks ago I broke up with my girlfriend of almost 3 years. For the last 3 months of the relationship, everything just went sour. I stopped being affectionate, I lost interest, I was tempted by other girls, the relationship became a chore and I finally ended it and said that it wasn't fair that I wasn't being true to my feelings or true to her. For the first week it was fine, I felt relieved, but still very concerned for her and I felt like i had made the right choice for both of us. Its two and a half weeks now... and I have literally hit rock bottom and fell to pieces. I cant stop thinking about her, I cant get out of bed, I cant do anything and I cant concentrate. I miss her so much, more than I ever have and the thoughts of being without her is unbearable, and the thought of her being with someone else is heart breaking. I'm so confused... i thought I made the right decision but now I am seriously doubting myself. I felt like I wasn't in love with her anymore, I felt like we had gone stale. But if im not in love with her how do I explain how i am feeling now? I feel broken without her. We never any sort of break, break up or huge fight before, so this really is a new experience for both of us. It hurts so much to be without her. Help!
ChelseaLS Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 About 2 weeks ago I broke up with my girlfriend of almost 3 years. For the last 3 months of the relationship, everything just went sour. I stopped being affectionate, I lost interest, I was tempted by other girls, the relationship became a chore and I finally ended it and said that it wasn't fair that I wasn't being true to my feelings or true to her. For the first week it was fine, I felt relieved, but still very concerned for her and I felt like i had made the right choice for both of us. Its two and a half weeks now... and I have literally hit rock bottom and fell to pieces. I cant stop thinking about her, I cant get out of bed, I cant do anything and I cant concentrate. I miss her so much, more than I ever have and the thoughts of being without her is unbearable, and the thought of her being with someone else is heart breaking. I'm so confused... i thought I made the right decision but now I am seriously doubting myself. I felt like I wasn't in love with her anymore, I felt like we had gone stale. But if im not in love with her how do I explain how i am feeling now? I feel broken without her. We never any sort of break, break up or huge fight before, so this really is a new experience for both of us. It hurts so much to be without her. Help! This sounds like my situation! My ex broke up with me after 6 years for basically the same reasons you stated... I can only hope he has hit rock bottom. I don't mean to sound mean of vicious of any sorts, but it hurt like hell and came out of the blue for me. So we are on a break for 6 months to see what will be. I told him I won't wait for him, although deep down right now I would. I told him if he is interested in starting again before six months, he can start by courting me. I am going to assume from my own experience, that your girl is trying to move on, because thats basically what you told her when you broke up with her. I think you are experiencing the same thing my ex is... the thought that the grass is greener on the otherside. It's not usually true. A relationship may become stale, but instead of bailing, why not try to work with it and spice it up. I believe breaks can be good and healthy. Its both involved a time to grow and learn. It sounds like you do still love her. I would say give her some time and space before you contact her so as not to anger and confuse her. Then slowly start contact and explain yourself, and your desire to try and work on the relationship. Thats just me.. I love love.
Rorschach64 Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 Chelsea, Your attitude and actions are, in my opinion, very mature and smart. I don't think it is because you love and you love, makes it seem like you're a sap , but I think you KNOW what love is Anyway, yes Chelsea definately set up a pretty good plan for you, be strong, and not pushy, just explain, listen and think.
Author mb88 Posted November 2, 2011 Author Posted November 2, 2011 so i bit the bullet... and i went and I talked to her.. just briefly. She seems like shes coping and shes happy, but Ive heard from her friends that she is just putting on a brave face as well ? But i suddenly feel so much more at ease with the situation. I just wanted to hug and her and kiss her when I saw her but at the same time I didnt because i knew it was wrong. Now I just want to be her friend.. and see how that develops. Im hoping that if we move past this breakup and its problems and bury it and then become close again through a friendship that we can reconnect and rekindle our flame? Is that possible? I really hope so
Rorschach64 Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 Well I've been in a situation before where I sat around held everything in and hoped things were going to go my way, but it didn't. I am saying communication and more communication! Just tell her how you feel about everything, not in a huge crazy mess, but in a calm and smart way. I think if you sit there hoping things go back the way they were then you are most likely setting yourself up for failure.
Dorian85 Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 About 2 weeks ago I broke up with my girlfriend of almost 3 years. For the last 3 months of the relationship, everything just went sour. I stopped being affectionate, I lost interest, I was tempted by other girls, the relationship became a chore and I finally ended it and said that it wasn't fair that I wasn't being true to my feelings or true to her. For the first week it was fine, I felt relieved, but still very concerned for her and I felt like i had made the right choice for both of us. Its two and a half weeks now... and I have literally hit rock bottom and fell to pieces. I cant stop thinking about her, I cant get out of bed, I cant do anything and I cant concentrate. I miss her so much, more than I ever have and the thoughts of being without her is unbearable, and the thought of her being with someone else is heart breaking. I'm so confused... i thought I made the right decision but now I am seriously doubting myself. I felt like I wasn't in love with her anymore, I felt like we had gone stale. But if im not in love with her how do I explain how i am feeling now? I feel broken without her. We never any sort of break, break up or huge fight before, so this really is a new experience for both of us. It hurts so much to be without her. Help! I think your feelings are common. You are feeling scared that you may not experience the same feelings with another girl that you did with her. So your mind starts to go into panic mode. Im going through a similar ordeal right now, except its roles reversed...slightly What i've learned so far just be reading different postings and taking some time to reflect is that sometimes a break, no matter how long or short, can sometimes be crucial to weather or not the relationship has staying power or not. Jumping right back into a situation when you both have issues that are un resolved is a bad idea. Take this time to assess your feelings and contemplate everything in the relationship. What was it that made you lose interest in her? Was it something she did, or didn't do? Maybe it was something on your end? These are all valid questions you have to ask yourself while you 2 are on a break. If you were unhappy at one time in the relationship and still haven't come to terms with WHY, then you still need to do some soul searching in order to be able to 100% make a decision. good luck
Author mb88 Posted November 3, 2011 Author Posted November 3, 2011 I think your feelings are common. You are feeling scared that you may not experience the same feelings with another girl that you did with her. So your mind starts to go into panic mode. Im going through a similar ordeal right now, except its roles reversed...slightly What i've learned so far just be reading different postings and taking some time to reflect is that sometimes a break, no matter how long or short, can sometimes be crucial to weather or not the relationship has staying power or not. Jumping right back into a situation when you both have issues that are un resolved is a bad idea. Take this time to assess your feelings and contemplate everything in the relationship. What was it that made you lose interest in her? Was it something she did, or didn't do? Maybe it was something on your end? These are all valid questions you have to ask yourself while you 2 are on a break. If you were unhappy at one time in the relationship and still haven't come to terms with WHY, then you still need to do some soul searching in order to be able to 100% make a decision. good luck I realise this will take time. There was a few problems... sometimes I felt like I just wanted to be single again and be free and careless, the relationship used to stress me out sometimes etc! But now that I'm without her, i think Im beginning to see what I had. I had never been without her before, we had never broke up! we never took a break.. sure we had small fights but nothing serious for nearly 3 years straight. The pain of being without her at the moment or seeing her with another person is unbearable
Dorian85 Posted November 3, 2011 Posted November 3, 2011 I realise this will take time. There was a few problems... sometimes I felt like I just wanted to be single again and be free and careless, the relationship used to stress me out sometimes etc! But now that I'm without her, i think Im beginning to see what I had. I had never been without her before, we had never broke up! we never took a break.. sure we had small fights but nothing serious for nearly 3 years straight. The pain of being without her at the moment or seeing her with another person is unbearable well maybe this is a good test to see if you will actually be ok without her?? Obviously you have become attached to this girl. 3 years is a long time. Day by day is the best approach. Some days you will feel like you 100% made the right move, others you will be freaking out wanting to rush right back into a situation that you were not fully happy in.
Author mb88 Posted December 7, 2011 Author Posted December 7, 2011 Okay it's been 8 weeks since we broke up and I miss her so much Is this normal... for the last 6 weeks she has been all i've thought about !
stu1234 Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 why won't you contact her then at this point its clear she means a lot to you.
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