Skyrim Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t304447/ This may require abit of background reading to understand the situtation, which can be found there. So whats her game? She was the one that broke it off, the one that lead me on and f***ed me around for months, and now expects me to just let her into my life again? Its been a week of NC and I deleted her a week ago, now shes trying to add me. Is she just trying to spy on me and see what I'm up to? If I've moved on? Should I accept? What could her motive be?
mike588 Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t304447/ This may require abit of background reading to understand the situtation, which can be found there. So whats her game? She was the one that broke it off, the one that lead me on and f***ed me around for months, and now expects me to just let her into my life again? Its been a week of NC and I deleted her a week ago, now shes trying to add me. Is she just trying to spy on me and see what I'm up to? If I've moved on? Should I accept? What could her motive be? Her motives could be many things,, I would not contact her again,, do you want to continue to be led on and fuc*ked around for more months??
Author Skyrim Posted November 2, 2011 Author Posted November 2, 2011 Her motives could be many things,, I would not contact her again,, do you want to continue to be led on and fuc*ked around for more months?? True, I don't plan to accept (yet) or answer any calls she may make. But there is a thought in my mind that "Well maybe she misses and wants to come back now, if I leave it she could lose interest" I still do want to be with her, but I'm not going to act on anything. I also keep thinking "f*** her, shes not worth it after everything shes caused" So I'm kind of conflicted about it.
smudge21 Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 Ignore this as it's only a breadcrumb, testing the water so to speak. Don't accept but also don't just delete it either - let her be confused. If she really wants to make contact then she will realise this has failed and start doing other things... you have to remember, there are many ways for one to contact another, and there's no excuses not to. Not in this day and age. Step away from it and see what happens.
mike588 Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 True, I don't plan to accept (yet) or answer any calls she may make. But there is a thought in my mind that "Well maybe she misses and wants to come back now, if I leave it she could lose interest" I still do want to be with her, but I'm not going to act on anything. I also keep thinking "f*** her, shes not worth it after everything shes caused" So I'm kind of conflicted about it. I know what you mean,,my ex. g/f screwed me over HARD and at times I want her back but know she's not the right person for me. Since you want her back and she does call let her know how you feel what you want but keep it short and to the point then go strict N.C. She will know what you want and now it's up to her. Don't beg, plead, cry etc,, be calm, polite and don't give out to much info. about yourself. What ever you do don't say things such as I miss you, I need you etc. and act needy,, you will look weak and pathetic and that's a turn off. In the mean time try to move on.
geegirl Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 But there is a thought in my mind that "Well maybe she misses and wants to come back now, if I leave it she could lose interest" I still do want to be with her, but I'm not going to act on anything. If she misses you and wants you back, it better be more than sending an invite via FB. If someone wants you back, you will see effort. Not clicking an invite button on a social network site. Don't let your junkie mind take over. If she was interested, even if you moved to another planet, she'd make her way to you. Why do people always seem to think that they need to remind someone of their existence hoping that would increase their chances of rekindling. If you are important, she won't have to be reminded and she won't lose interest. Simple.
Author Skyrim Posted November 2, 2011 Author Posted November 2, 2011 I know what you mean,,my ex. g/f screwed me over HARD and at times I want her back but know she's not the right person for me. Since you want her back and she does call let her know how you feel what you want but keep it short and to the point then go strict N.C. She will know what you want and now it's up to her. Don't beg, plead, cry etc,, be calm, polite and don't give out to much info. about yourself. What ever you do don't say things such as I miss you, I need you etc. and act needy,, you will look weak and pathetic and that's a turn off. In the mean time try to move on. Thing is, she knows what I want, I've told her before that we can't be just friends as it hurts me to much. I did try, but I ended up getting hurt and she walked all over me. Thinking about it, I don't want anything to do with her, but my feelings for her are over powering that kind of thinking. This is now doing my head in. I think I'll wait a bit, if she really wanted to get back together she would (or she should) try a little better than a friend request on Facebook.
M2155 Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 Well if her motive was screwing with you and making you confused, obviously it's working. I'd decline the FB request or block her- she doesn't deserve to know what you are up to. Like everyone said, she knows how to reach you if she was serious. If she knows what you're up to, she doesn't have to do any work to find out.
mike588 Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 True, I don't plan to accept (yet) or answer any calls she may make. But there is a thought in my mind that "Well maybe she misses and wants to come back now, if I leave it she could lose interest" I still do want to be with her, but I'm not going to act on anything. I also keep thinking "f*** her, shes not worth it after everything shes caused" So I'm kind of conflicted about it. I 99.9% agree with what Geegirl said but I wonder how many times (if at all) if a dumper wants to get back together but because they feel so bad,,have guilt for how bad they screwed you over that they may think,,, I'd love to reach out to my ex. but because I did this or did that to him/her I know they will never talk to me again so why should I try.
ThinkPink218 Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 I think exes want to remain friends often times because it makes them feel less guilty about dumping you
geegirl Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 (edited) I 99.9% agree with what Geegirl said but I wonder how many times (if at all) if a dumper wants to get back together but because they feel so bad,,have guilt for how bad they screwed you over that they may think,,, I'd love to reach out to my ex. but because I did this or did that to him/her I know they will never talk to me again so why should I try. It's not the dumpee's responsibility to provide assurance to the dumper that it is safe to approach. The dumpee's responsibility is to herself/himself and that is to move forward and detach after a break-up. When a dumper ends the relationship, they have to take accountability for the decision to break and the repercussions that follow and when they have doubts and want to rekindle, they have to decide if you're valuable enough to them to take the risk of possibly being let down when they approach for a second chance. If you are worthy and valuable, they will take a chance at the risk of getting hurt or having their ego bruised. Edited November 2, 2011 by geegirl
Rorschach64 Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 Geegirl has it right in both of her posts, listen to her. Simple as that, don't hit that accept button just let it linger, don't even bother hitting ignore.
Author Skyrim Posted November 3, 2011 Author Posted November 3, 2011 Eh she called tonight. I find the manner in which she called a little strange though, she called once and I didn't answer, then not 2 minutes later she calls again (did answer this time, and the only reason I did answer was because I'd deleted her number, I'll be keeping it now so I know its her calling) When she talked she sounded very distressed, like she had been crying. All I said was "I'm at work...I'll talk to you later" Said goodbye then hung up. I still haven't added her back on Facebook... what do you guys make of this?
Rorschach64 Posted November 3, 2011 Posted November 3, 2011 Well clearly she wants to talk to you about something something, it is up to you if you care to listen. If I was you I'd hear her out.
EgoJoe Posted November 3, 2011 Posted November 3, 2011 Well clearly she wants to talk to you about something something, it is up to you if you care to listen. If I was you I'd hear her out. I agree with this, but, on your time and be distant, nonchalant etc.
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