me1092 Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 [sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]Hi![/FONT][/sIZE] [sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]Well this is quite long and complicated, and its only because its complicated that I decided to post it here to see what other people think about it.[/FONT][/sIZE] [sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]My girlfriend of 8 months left me 2 weeks ago. She has given me various reasons which include[/FONT][/sIZE] [FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]1.[/sIZE][/FONT] [sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]Not being ready for a serious relationship[/FONT][/sIZE] [FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]2.[/sIZE][/FONT] [sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]Its going to fast[/FONT][/sIZE] [FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]3.[/sIZE][/FONT] [sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]She doesn’t deserve me[/FONT][/sIZE] [FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]4.[/sIZE][/FONT] [sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]She doesn’t feel as much as before[/FONT][/sIZE] [FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]5.[/sIZE][/FONT] [sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]She thinks I am dependent on her[/FONT][/sIZE] [sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]We decided to have a break for a week while she decided what she wanted, and she said she did want this and wanted it to work, a week passed and things weren’t great, she was very cold with me and she said she would need time to feel like she did again. I said we could just talk at weekends or have another break or do whatever she wanted, but she insisted on talking every night. At the end of this week, she seemed to open up a little, she was warmer and was telling me that she is too young to have met me, she is only 20 and she thinks I am the type of guy she could marry and she isn’t ready for that yet but she won’t fight it. So that made me much happier and I went away for a week so couldn’t talk with her as much, and on the Wednesday night I asked her if once I was home, we could talk a little about what she had said. And that is when she said, the only easy way is to be friends and be together when she is ready. So at first I was upset but I told her if its what she wanted I would do it. She said that she was sorry it hurt me, and that I wouldn’t lose her, its just we would be friends until she was less overwhelmed. We then decided to have another week of not talking to help her cope with the stress. This was Friday to Friday but she emailed me on the Sunday asking me how I knew one of her friends and told me she wasn’t jealous, she just wanted to know. Once we spoke on Friday, things seemed ok but the conversation eventually changed to the break up and she got upset and was telling me I was obsessed about being in a relationship now and that I couldn’t accept it wouldn’t happen soon. She was saying that she has other problems and to know if she loves me or not is not the most important. She seemed to over react as I just asked her if she was still comfortable with me sending her a Christmas present, she said no so I said ok, but I don’t know why as friends send presents, it doesn’t mean anything more than friendship and she got upset. So I didn’t speak to her the next 2 days to give her more time and then on the Tuesday I asked her if she would be online that night, and she asked me why I always have to ask that, and why can’t I just go online and if she is on talk to her. But we spoke for 20 minutes after that about normal things.[/FONT][/sIZE] [sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]She has told me she doesn’t love me as much as before, but she has always said she sees a future, that its too soon and that I wont lose her. So it’s a little confusing as sometimes she has said things like she isn’t the girl for me and that maybe it was only ever meant to be friendship, however this was in the middle of the most heated conversation we have had. We have still never argued about anything, and we have always had a great connection, just one week she said she was feeling weird and it went downhill from there.[/FONT][/sIZE] [sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]However, this has sadly all coincided with lots of other stressful events in her life, her university started to go very badly and her parents gave her a hard time for it. She had bad pms and she gets upset sometimes anyway because of the distance between us ( she is in Spain I am in the uk) and this was the first thing she said was upsetting her to start all these problems.[/FONT][/sIZE] [sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]She has been cheated on before in other relationships and she has told me that she is afraid of a relationship now. I am only 19 and she will be 21 soon. I know we are young, that there are many other people out there etc. but I do really love this girl and I did really think we could have a future together and I still have hope that one day we can. She said I did nothing wrong, its just that suddenly she felt different and overwhelmed with everything and she realised that she has to concentrate on other things now. It would be easy to accept, but she is still being cold with me and talking to me like I have upset her but I really have never done anything to hurt her.[/FONT][/sIZE] [sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]Any advice?[/FONT][/sIZE]
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