irc333 Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 I saw this profile of a woman in my area who actually had this numbered list of "Do not email me ifs" And it was quite long. She indicated that she bores easily. And seems fixated on having babies throughout her profile, apparently if you don't want to have kids, move on. Which is okay. But then at the bottom she said, "Oh yeah, I tried the nice guy thing, when you date someone you're not attracted to, because you're trying to see if you can, but cannot?" Apparently, she is somehow relating a nice guy to somoene who is PHYSICALLY unattractive. THat being said, is it safe to assume that nice guys are unattractive physically? That's what she's saying. What was funny was, was a contradiction she had to that when it came to HER own looks, she said she wasn't perfect physically, but with her over time she could turn into a beauty to her future mate after getting to know each other.
Emilia Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 But then at the bottom she said, "Oh yeah, I tried the nice guy thing, when you date someone you're not attracted to, because you're trying to see if you can, but cannot?" Apparently, she is somehow relating a nice guy to somoene who is PHYSICALLY unattractive. THat being said, is it safe to assume that nice guys are unattractive physically? That's what she's saying. What was funny was, was a contradiction she had to that when it came to HER own looks, she said she wasn't perfect physically, but with her over time she could turn into a beauty to her future mate after getting to know each other. No. What she is saying is that she tried to date guys she wasn't attracted to because they were nice - ie she thought they deserved a shot - but it didn't work without the attraction.
crosswordfiend Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 I think in this situation it does mean unattractive, because if the guys had anything else going for them beyond being nice, she would have used a different adjective.
elfling Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 My impression is she may be one of the idiots who are turned on by bad boys. She might have masochistic or sexual submission tendencies and gets turned on by being abused, degraded, insulted, etc. That's why she equates "nice" with unappealing. If you are a gentleman of refined and kindly character, ignore losers like her and look for women who appreciate good men which in my book equates with nice men. I have encountered so many jerks that I would never disgrace the few nice guys by using the term "nice" as synonymous with unattractive. It is especially annoying that women like her reinforce the prevalent meme that women prefer jerks and you have to be a jerk to keep a woman interested. When they date nice men they dump them for being nice, which ruins the men for the rest of us. Like if you don't "take charge" and start bossing them around, degrading them and playing manipulative jerk mind games with them after at least 3 months, they will dump you. Then these good men are crushed and confused, and after that they hold back their kindness and put on a bad boy jerk show to future women they date, because they've been taught to do so by the women who want that. But most often the men are ruined by macho misogynistic culture before they even date such a woman. So the truly untainted nice men are rare, which is why it troubles me when fellow women ruin those few who slipped through the cracks. This is a world where men still dominate, enslave and subjugate women in some countries and we are still fighting to end the abuse and denigration of women. There is a huge black market in young girls who were kidnapped to be abused as sex slaves. Too many men in this world are mentally ill S&M doms who are turned on by abusing helpless girls, otherwise such a sex slave trade couldn't exist because no nice man would support such an evil industry and pay to have sex with these poor kidnapped girls whose lives are then utterly ruined. If you are a nice man, stay away from the type of women who are turned on by bad boys. They are mentally ill and should seek psychiatric help before seeking a man.
grkBoy Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 I saw this profile of a woman in my area who actually had this numbered list of "Do not email me ifs" And it was quite long. She indicated that she bores easily. And seems fixated on having babies throughout her profile, apparently if you don't want to have kids, move on. Which is okay. But then at the bottom she said, "Oh yeah, I tried the nice guy thing, when you date someone you're not attracted to, because you're trying to see if you can, but cannot?" Apparently, she is somehow relating a nice guy to somoene who is PHYSICALLY unattractive. THat being said, is it safe to assume that nice guys are unattractive physically? That's what she's saying. What was funny was, was a contradiction she had to that when it came to HER own looks, she said she wasn't perfect physically, but with her over time she could turn into a beauty to her future mate after getting to know each other. It's the usual story. There is "nice" as in "he's a wonderful person" and then there's "nice" as in "he's unattractive, but not evil or mean, so I can't say something bad about him". I'll be honest, this woman is backing herself into a corner. She's made it clear how much she wants a family, but also has put it out there how much she wants an above average man. Her mediocre looks are only going to hinder her more. So she's basically coming off as a woman with the bar set really high, infested with "baby rabies", and is honestly not the women the above average men would first look to. If she didn't care if she ever had kids and would choose "grow old and die alone" before lowering the bar, then more power to her. But she wants kids, so she's on a time crunch, and thus at some point will have to choose how badly she wants that family. You can only pick from what's available to you and who is willing to give you what you want...especially when "dying alone" isn't an option in your mind. Even more when "having kids" is a big one. Age becomes the villain.
carhill Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 If he was hot and nice, she wouldn't be on the dating site; she'd be off banging him.
alphamale Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 Apparently, she is somehow relating a nice guy to somoene who is PHYSICALLY unattractive. in general, one's looks have little to do with their personality
elfling Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 LOL!! "Infested with baby rabies" That's hilarious
AD1980 Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 Mediocre looking women looking for a hot guy and so goes the story of the online dating world
PJKino Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 Online dating is basically filled with a lot of unattractive women looking for hot men which is why i avoid it The POF forum for example is hillarious, a bunch of women screaming that Men dont want to see them for the beauty they have on the inside and how men are shallow yet refuse to date anyone under 5'10 and out of shape
b_80_h Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 Online dating is basically filled with a lot of unattractive women looking for hot men which is why i avoid it The POF forum for example is hillarious, a bunch of women screaming that Men dont want to see them for the beauty they have on the inside and how men are shallow yet refuse to date anyone under 5'10 and out of shape Yeah, I floated through there, and I have to admit it's not the best way to even expand your network of people. There were so many calls of "NICEEEEE GUYSSSSS ONLY!!!1" (I'm 20. Forgive the grammar of my generation.) followed by a laundry list of quirks that don't qualify in the "cute and quirky" mold. I wonder if they are aware that even nice guys are scared away by unattractive personality traits.
dasein Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 She is a 5-6, she has had sex with several 9-10 level men, and terms them as FWB (the men would describe it as 'this butter chick I f-cked a couple times'), maybe years ago, maybe ongoing, while she is on POF trying to find men to pay money to court her because her vagina entitles her to free meals and entertainment. She has expected at least a 9 ever since and won't settle for anything less. This is the typical woman OLD. Men OLD are just as bad I imagine, but in no way worse than the women.
Mrlonelyone Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 (edited) To the title question I say yes. Attraction is a large part mental not just physical. Many women, especially young and emotionally immature ones (of any age) are turned on by men who are objectively bad for them. So if a man is good for them and good to them that turns them off. The above is true even when the men are physically equal...or even if it's the same man. i.e. A woman dates a man assuming he's bad only to find he's not bad and then becomes turned off. I have seen that happen to other too. As others have said such women are pathlogical and need to work on their own issues. Just be glad you have the wisdom to recognize that something wasn't right. Edited November 2, 2011 by Mrlonelyone
AHardDaysNight Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 This is a logical fallacy. She assumes all ugly guys are nice, when they're not (some are actually confident.) She also assumes all attractive people are confident (when some are not.) Such is life, sigh.
jobaba Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 No. I have friends who are nice guys and really good looking. They've gotten lots of women.
b_80_h Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 The difference is confidence. "Nice" is almost a dirty word in dating now, because it assumes that a "nice" guy/girl is kind and thoughtful, but utterly lacking courage or confidence (I'd say they lack "the stones," but I figured that assuming women have testicles could... well, kind of inaccurate) It's a shame, because it seems like everybody wants confidence. Physical attractiveness mixed with confidence is usually kind of hard to resist.
grkBoy Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 I still believe she'll be 35, childless, never married, and on iVillage complaining how men suck. Move on and leave her to her fate.
b_80_h Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 I still believe she'll be 35, childless, never married, and on iVillage complaining how men suck. Move on and leave her to her fate. And that's the game! Goodnight everyone! *theme song plays*
PlumPrincess Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 Online dating is basically filled with a lot of unattractive women looking for hot men which is why i avoid it Pleeeeeaaaaase???!!!! Online dating sites are infested with creeps. I really feel like deactivating my account again...
b_80_h Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 Pleeeeeaaaaase???!!!! Online dating sites are infested with creeps. I really feel like deactivating my account again... See it from a guy's perspective: it's a haven for unattractive women, who feel that they can land that "hottie" who is sensitive and caring (basically, Fabio), all the while adopting the same shallowness that they claim to abhor. See it from a chick's perspective: it's infested with creepy, angry, judgmental guys who will do everything from insulting you to sending a picture of their junk if they believe it will get you to sleep with them. Either side has some baddies. The challenge is identifying the creeps and prudes before they can do any damage.
oaks Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 Online dating is full of unattractive people of both sexes... but, guess what, so is real life! The difference is that in 'real life' most people aren't walking around judging every face they see as a potential date (and not everyone you see is looking back at you the same way either) whereas on a dating site there's (obviously) a higher concentration of people who are actively looking for a date. Unless you live in a cave you see unattractive people every day, you just don't think "I'd never date him/her" about each one because you're getting on with your day. You probably don't even notice most of them.
oaks Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 Apparently, she is somehow relating a nice guy to somoene who is PHYSICALLY unattractive. THat being said, is it safe to assume that nice guys are unattractive physically? That's what she's saying. No. I think she meant "nice personality but not attractive". Of course people can have nice personality and also be attractive, but they probably get described with adjectives like "hot" rather than merely "nice".
phineas Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 She is a 5-6, she has had sex with several 9-10 level men, and terms them as FWB (the men would describe it as 'this butter chick I f-cked a couple times'), maybe years ago, maybe ongoing, while she is on POF trying to find men to pay money to court her because her vagina entitles her to free meals and entertainment. She has expected at least a 9 ever since and won't settle for anything less. This is the typical woman OLD. Men OLD are just as bad I imagine, but in no way worse than the women. And this is why i've been hesitant to try online dating. I see a lot of women who's profiles read like their legends in their own minds. At 40. LOL!
Imageiko Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 Generally if a women puts a long list of do not message me if... do yourself a favor and don't message her!
Wolf18 Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 She is a 5-6, she has had sex with several 9-10 level men, and terms them as FWB (the men would describe it as 'this butter chick I f-cked a couple times'), maybe years ago, maybe ongoing, while she is on POF trying to find men to pay money to court her because her vagina entitles her to free meals and entertainment. She has expected at least a 9 ever since and won't settle for anything less. This is the typical woman OLD. Men OLD are just as bad I imagine, but in no way worse than the women. Perfect characterization of "online daters" and many women in person as well. They think because some guy whose 9/10 is willing to plug them once a month that they are 9/10 themselves. That is why I think leagues are actually a good thing, segregate the very good looking and rich guys from our plain janes that way we can all have a chance at a damn girlfriend.
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