Els Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 (edited) It was you who mentioned the word *shrug*. I took especial care to explain that I solely meant the word in its conventional sense, and even used quotes for your benefit, just as how I meant 'not handsome' in the stereotypical sense. Not my fault you seem to take offense at every single thing anyone describes about their partner or themselves. To hear you talk, all adjectives should be banned here - 'not handsome' is wrong, 'conventionally intelligent' is wrong.. strange that you did not take offense to me calling myself 'average-looking'. Should everyone only deprecate themselves and their partners? Perhaps it may be beneficial to work on your self-esteem. Edited December 3, 2011 by Elswyth Link to post Share on other sites
jobaba Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 It was you who mentioned the word *shrug*. I took especial care to explain that I solely meant the word in its conventional sense, and even used quotes for your benefit, just as how I meant 'not handsome' in the stereotypical sense. Not my fault you seem to take offense at every single thing anyone describes about their partner or themselves. To hear you talk, all adjectives should be banned here - 'not handsome' is wrong, 'conventionally intelligent' is wrong.. strange that you did not take offense to me calling myself 'average-looking'. Should everyone only deprecate themselves and their partners? Perhaps it may be beneficial to work on your self-esteem. I'm not going to get into it. There's no point. We just have wildly different criteria for selecting ideal partners. That's all. Don't take offense to anything I said. It wasn't meant as a direct attack... Link to post Share on other sites
Thieves Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 His IQ was literally off the charts - and I mean 160 and above, it was so far off the realm of normalcy that tests could not measure it with reasonable accuracy. Any intellectual feat he chose to attempt, he sailed through with undaunted ease, flawlessly and simply. I recall sitting next to him solving brainteasers, and he pretty much went through them like they were common arithmetic problems. He such had a razor-sharp wit, I've nearly orgasmed listening to some of the things he said, or reading some of the stuff he wrote. I think I just almost orgasmed from reading this description of your ex -- as wrong as that may sound (hope you don't take offense!). He sounds like he was quite the catch, Elswyth. Link to post Share on other sites
runner Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 Man. You are vain... this isn't vain. nothing wrong with being self-aware and knowing what she wants. anyway as for the thread title, i'm in the 'competition' camp- although i wouldn't toss out the biology argument completely. Link to post Share on other sites
Author OnyxSnowfall Posted December 3, 2011 Author Share Posted December 3, 2011 I can totally relate, girl. An ex of mine was a guy who was, by all traditional standards, really not physically attractive. He was tall, but so very lanky (130 lbs at like 5'10"), he had a decidedly 'unhandsome' face and wore the rattiest clothes I've ever seen (I'm a girl with a HUGE tolerance for clothes, so when I say ratty, I mean holey t-shirt ratty). But oh, dear Lord, his mind. His IQ was literally off the charts - and I mean 160 and above, it was so far off the realm of normalcy that tests could not measure it with reasonable accuracy. Any intellectual feat he chose to attempt, he sailed through with undaunted ease, flawlessly and simply. I recall sitting next to him solving brainteasers, and he pretty much went through them like they were common arithmetic problems. He such had a razor-sharp wit, I've nearly orgasmed listening to some of the things he said, or reading some of the stuff he wrote. And the best part about all of it was that he was so unassuming! Not in a low self-esteem 'I can't do anything right' way, but in a 'I know I do just fine and I don't need to show it off' way. We ultimately didn't work out in the end due to some personality clashes, and the fact that he isn't the sort of person who invests much into relationships. But while I was with him, I was most definitely attracted to him, unhandsome self and all. I guess I am lucky in that with my current bf, I have both physical and mental attraction for him. That is incredibly rare to achieve, and I'm amazed that I've found someone who ticks both boxes. But really, I would still have chosen my ex over a Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise. No question. :love: Yessssss Goodness, do I ever know what it is like to become fiercely aroused (to the point of near climax) at something said that was intensely witty and or a piece of writing that was created beautifully --- full of highly stimulating... content. Mm, it can be all too easy to become enthralled by a very creative conversationalist *and* writer... one who is indeed also blessed with a brilliant mind. If only my ex and I had been emotionally compatible It is a hopeful thing that you have found someone with whom you share multiple attractions with though :) Oh gee, I hope you don't mind me inquiring... but was it difficult to move on from the raggy genius? I have felt as though I will never encounter another man like my ex. Still, the ability to form and sustain an intimate connection within a relationship is indeed crucial and I understand how ... despite how powerful the excitement, admiration, and or appreciation of someone's rare qualities can be.............. there needs to be a combination of things in order to make a close relationship work. But exactly... hands down, genius wins over physique And I too was elated with the way you described things Link to post Share on other sites
Author OnyxSnowfall Posted December 3, 2011 Author Share Posted December 3, 2011 (edited) Man. You are vain... If that is vain, I suppose I am vain too then I definitely don't think she was attempting to demean men........... basically, someone doesn't have to be "visually appealing/aesthetic/symmetrical" in order to be sexy. A genius can be........ all kinds of moisture inducing It sounds like she's found someone she appreciates physically *and* mentally now... and with whom she hopefully has a *stronger* bond with (and that's awesome). I seem to personally develop physical attractions after other ones have developed, but nonetheless... Like she already stated... basic observations can be still be made and that doesn't mean they're necessarily significant... or intended to be "harsh and offensive". Edited December 3, 2011 by OnyxSnowfall Link to post Share on other sites
Ilovewater Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 Yes, you do have to be a 'genius' (again, in the conventional sense) to get me. I won't lie about that. I give as good as I expect in that aspect, however - and in all other aspects I require, really. Most women do not care for hyperintelligent men. Many can't see past their usually inevitable geekiness and quirkiness to love the man beneath. I can. I would pragmatically rate myself as average-looking. Like you, I love hyperintelligent men! That's actually the first quality I look for, besides personality. If he's also physically attractive, that's a bonus. I've only dated men who are intelligent, and I absolutely adore their geekiness (especially the scientific/math kind)! Brainy men really tickle my senses haha. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 I think I just almost orgasmed from reading this description of your ex -- as wrong as that may sound (hope you don't take offense!). He sounds like he was quite the catch, Elswyth. ROFL. Glad you, uh, enjoyed yourself. I thought so too myself, back in the early days. Not many women seem able to prize him, though, they can't look past his appearance and his weird habits and awkwardness to see what he is inside. He's been single since we mutually broke up, about 4 years ago. Admittedly he is a little picky as to what sort of girl he likes as well, I heard from his friends that I was the only girl he tried to ask out in college. I know he tried to ask one out after we broke up, but she rejected him rather harshly. :love: Yessssss Goodness, do I ever know what it is like to become fiercely aroused (to the point of near climax) at something said that was intensely witty and or a piece of writing that was created beautifully --- full of highly stimulating... content. Mm, it can be all too easy to become enthralled by a very creative conversationalist *and* writer... one who is indeed also blessed with a brilliant mind. I think we're kindred spirits or something, OS. If only my ex and I had been emotionally compatible It is a hopeful thing that you have found someone with whom you share multiple attractions with though :) Oh gee, I hope you don't mind me inquiring... but was it difficult to move on from the raggy genius? I have felt as though I will never encounter another man like my ex. Hrrrm. Not sure exactly what you mean by 'move on'. If you meant, when we broke up, well, not really. It had been pending for a while by that time. See, he was still in 'college mode' - friends and having fun were #1 priority, and once the honeymoon phase subsided after a year or so, that became blatantly obvious. That was not the sort of relationship I was after. He was not willing to put much effort into the relationship to make things work, and so after some time of that I became fed up with it and gradually lost attraction to him. That experience taught me some important things, though - namely, that mental connection alone does not a relationship make. If you mean moving on to my current guy later on... No, it wasn't difficult at all. While my bf may not be as savant-like as the ex, his intellectual capabilities are still more than enough to stimulate me. And more importantly, he puts a great deal of investment into a relationship. When he was courting me, he really put his all into it, and I felt like the luckiest girl in the world - no one had ever put so much thought and effort into making me happy. Now, 3.5 years later, the honeymoon phase is long done and over with, we have been through a lot of difficult times and hard phases, but I still feel that way sometimes. He may not be able to whiz through puzzles the way the ex did, but as we are more on par with each other, we can solve them together (I never bothered with the ex, he sometimes solved them before I was done reading them.. and I read fast). We both took the entrance tests and qualified for a high IQ society together (I know it may not necessarily mean anything, but it was fun ). When we first got together, I couldn't stop taking pictures of him (something I never wanted to do with the ex ), and now I still want to smile when I look at him. When he brought me breakfast in bed, or sweeps me up in his arms, or sneakily bought the tickets for a movie he knew I wanted to watch but didn't buy because I knew he didn't... it makes my heart want to melt. Screw the jerks, it's nice guys all the way for me. AND best of all, despite all this, he can still dominate my socks off in bed. The ex never wanted to try anything sexually adventurous. Umm.. yeah. I should stop gushing. TL;DR: No, it wasn't difficult. Still, the ability to form and sustain an intimate connection within a relationship is indeed crucial and I understand how ... despite how powerful the excitement, admiration, and or appreciation of someone's rare qualities can be.............. there needs to be a combination of things in order to make a close relationship work. But exactly... hands down, genius wins over physique : Completely, completely agreed with this. If that is vain, I suppose I am vain too then I definitely don't think she was attempting to demean men........... basically, someone doesn't have to be "visually appealing/aesthetic/symmetrical" in order to be sexy. Definitely! That was what I was trying to get at. Like you, I love hyperintelligent men! That's actually the first quality I look for, besides personality. If he's also physically attractive, that's a bonus. I've only dated men who are intelligent, and I absolutely adore their geekiness (especially the scientific/math kind)! Brainy men really tickle my senses haha. Yup, ditto. I do have some physical preferences, but really, they are: 1) Not obese, and 2) Not shorter than me. Given that I'm 5'1", I think that's a perfectly reasonable expectation. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 (edited) Btw, it's really heartening to see so many fellow women prize other things than physical appearance first. To be fair to the guys, though, I really don't think all of them are as superficial as they are made out to be. I look like any average girl physically - probably 'lesser', as I have never worn makeup and dress simply and comfortably. But yet these guys wanted me - my bf had even had a very good-looking girl after him at the time he was courting me. I could be wrong, but I'd like to think that these guys wanted me for the same reasons I wanted them. So perhaps men and women are not so very different after all. Edited December 4, 2011 by Elswyth Link to post Share on other sites
Wolf18 Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 The women here are either anamoly's , or lying. Most likely the latter. I've never met a nerdy guy that got girls atleast not until he after he got a high paying job. You guys must have the hollywood definition of "geek", which is really just Fabio with glasses. Link to post Share on other sites
PlumPrincess Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 The women here are either anamoly's , or lying. Most likely the latter. I've never met a nerdy guy that got girls atleast not until he after he got a high paying job. You guys must have the hollywood definition of "geek", which is really just Fabio with glasses. I remember this guy at university, really smart, but not good-looking in any way. He had this absolutely gorgeous girl fall for him. I heard from other people that she was so into him and he wasn't interested, even a little uncomfortable with being the focus of her attention. Eventually, they got together though. You need to get out a bit more. Link to post Share on other sites
ScienceGal Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 The first time I went out with the last guy I dated I thought he was geeky. And I thought he was just average looking. But, he is intelligent and kind. The more time I spent with him, the more I saw that he had a lot of great attributes and a lot to offer. My emotional bond grew and as a result I found him more physically attractive. I started to look at and notice details in his appearance. His hair, his mouth, his jawline, his surgery scars, and more. I appreciated him for who he was and never felt that I wished he were more. I would equally lose interest in someone I found very attractive, but later found out they lacked inner beauty. Link to post Share on other sites
Wolf18 Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 So you girls are actually saying that this guy is getting all the girls where you live: http://globalnerdy.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2007/06/nerd.jpg Because that's what most nerds look like where I live Do they sweep you off their feet while riding their unicorns up there in Narnia? I think the "nerds" you guys are talking about look more like this guy : http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l7o31zENSr1qcltqco1_400.jpg It's a fashion trend that is becomming huge, but none of you would like a real nerd. Link to post Share on other sites
ScienceGal Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 Ok, so the first guy needs to stop smoking, ditch the serial killer glasses and get to the gym. But, that photo looks like it was taken in 1978, so maybe he's improved since then! As for the second, he's a model wearing glasses, not a geek. A guy can be a geek and still take care of him self physically. Link to post Share on other sites
Ilovewater Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 (edited) So you girls are actually saying that this guy is getting all the girls where you live: http://globalnerdy.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2007/06/nerd.jpg Because that's what most nerds look like where I live Do they sweep you off their feet while riding their unicorns up there in Narnia? I think the "nerds" you guys are talking about look more like this guy : http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l7o31zENSr1qcltqco1_400.jpg It's a fashion trend that is becomming huge, but none of you would like a real nerd. Besides my first boyfriend who was 6'1'', 180 lbs, fit, and tone, all of my other exes and current boyfriend probably wouldn't be seen by a lot of women as conventionally attractive. One of my exes was 5'10 and 220 lbs. All he wore day in and day out was beach shorts and some white t-shirts. My current boyfriend is 5'6'' (barely taller than I am) and 130 lbs. My attraction to these men didn't start with their looks. It was mostly their intelligence and personality that attracted me. Women (with exceptions) do appreciate other qualities besides looks and money, not that most guys on this forum would care to admit. Just because you don't think it's possible doesn't make it impossible. Also, not all nerdy men look like the guy in the first link.... Some of them may not be fashionable, but they still look presentable and know how to take care of themselves. Edited December 4, 2011 by Ilovewater Link to post Share on other sites
jobaba Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 So you girls are actually saying that this guy is getting all the girls where you live: http://globalnerdy.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2007/06/nerd.jpg Because that's what most nerds look like where I live Do they sweep you off their feet while riding their unicorns up there in Narnia? I think the "nerds" you guys are talking about look more like this guy : http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l7o31zENSr1qcltqco1_400.jpg It's a fashion trend that is becomming huge, but none of you would like a real nerd. There's types of intelligence that are appealing to women and society in general and types that are not. Barack Obama is an example of a 'sexy' kind of intelligence. This kind of intelligence is more socially romantic and ostentatious than say an Asian guy who is a whiz at Applied Physics and teaches at a good university. I know guys like this, and it doesn't get them any tail. But a guy who has a pHd in cognitive neuroscience and has witty repartee and a professor of Russian Literature who can dissect the works of Tolstoy ... gets 'em wet. Everything has to be taken in context. Link to post Share on other sites
Wolf18 Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 Ok, so the first guy needs to stop smoking, ditch the serial killer glasses and get to the gym. But, that photo looks like it was taken in 1978, so maybe he's improved since then! As for the second, he's a model wearing glasses, not a geek. A guy can be a geek and still take care of him self physically. [/Quote] If you are talking about nerds, this is what springs to mind. If your idea of a nerd is one whose always at the gym, wears Oliver Peeple's , and doesn't just sit on his ass playing WoW most of the time, then you like the nerd fashion, not real nerds. I consider myself to be intelligent, but not a nerd by any stretch of the imagination. I know I sound like a JOCK, but I personally despise nerds and get the urge to give them wedgies when I see them, all they do is pidgeonhole themselves. Most nerds also lack social and day-to-day intelligence, doing complex calculus but not being able to hammer in a nail or throw a punch just means you are a very unbalanced human being. Not to mention "nerd" interests like anime are incredibly lame. Women (with exceptions) do appreciate other qualities besides looks and money, not that most guys on this forum would care to admit. Just because you don't think it's possible doesn't make it impossible.[/Quote] Well I can only speak from what I've seen with my own two eyes, and I can tell you that a guy whose 5'6 and weighs 130 lbs is going to have a lot of trouble finding a date regardless of how brilliant he is. I'm a couple of inches taller and more muscular than that, and even I run into problems. Link to post Share on other sites
Ilovewater Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 (edited) Well I can only speak from what I've seen with my own two eyes, and I can tell you that a guy whose 5'6 and weighs 130 lbs is going to have a lot of trouble finding a date regardless of how brilliant he is. I'm a couple of inches taller and more muscular than that, and even I run into problems. Haha...he's actually never had a problem with women. He's always had a girlfriend since high school, and I'm lucky to have found him when he was single. =] Your stereotype of nerds will match only like 5% of nerds out there. I have 245 classmates (as well as 700+ other people in the same program) who are all type A nerds who think they're failures if they get 95% on an exam. The majority of them do not fit your descriptions, and most of them also have no problems socializing. There are a few who probably could improve their interpersonal skills a bit. However, most of them do not fit the stereotype at all. 90% of them are also party animals on the weekend. Edited December 5, 2011 by Ilovewater Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 ...Wolf, you claimed on another thread that women make no contribution to society and that everything, including college, has had to be 'dumbed down for them to succeed'. And you think your problems with getting women stems from your appearance? Um, yeah, sure... no. Link to post Share on other sites
Wolf18 Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 (edited) So you girls really want to date nerds huh? Well I know a few guys who are single to hook you up with Rofl. Kind of reminds me of snobby cosmopolitan types I meet, always bragging about how Ethiopian food is there favorite and I'm an idiot for not being a fan...in reality I doubt any of these effeminate bourgeois 'we are the world' types would want to eat REAL third world food Something tells me none of you would want to date the nerds I've met throughout my life (all these guys are average or below average height, and average income, btw): http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/157899_10688541081_4114957_n.jpg http://a3.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-ash1/v307/42/120/685340240/n685340240_3501773_4462.jpg http://a1.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/267272_2108155745884_1305270469_32372660_3833214_n.jpg Edited December 19, 2011 by Wolf18 Link to post Share on other sites
ptp Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 This thread is like a Zombie... every time you think it is going to die...somehow it is revived. Link to post Share on other sites
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