heartonmysleev Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 Sorry it's so long, just trying to explain the background as much as I can. I've been dating this guy a little over 3 months now. We're both 24 years old. We were in some college classes together, and he contacted me over the summer (1 yr after graduation) to see what I was up to and would I be interested in going out. I agreed, and we started out dating/ hanging out 2-3 times a week, and texting daily between dates. I thought he was very sweet and genuinely liked me, I really liked him. After about 6 weeks dating we discussed that we were exclusive, and neither of us would want to see anyone else. (I brought up this convo casually, just wondering where he's at, is he seeing anyone else) He did not bring up the boyfriend/girlfriend labels at this time and it didn't really matter to me as long as I knew he wasn't pursuing other girls. About a month ago we slept together for the first time, I did let him know ahead of time that I wouldn't have sex with someone until I was sure I liked them and wanted to pursue a relationship with them, he said he respected that and was glad I was serious about my feelings for him before having sex. For the last 2 weeks it seems like he's completely turned a 180 towards me and I'm not sure why. He texts me much less frequently, and only makes plans with me when I initiate and ask when he's free. Last week I made plans and he cancelled last minute saying he was too exhausted from work. I know he is very busy at work, but I feel like he should put in more effort to see me. I told him I was upset about him cancelling and I felt like he wasn't interested in me anymore he said that wasn't the case at all and he's really just stressed at work. But he still hasn't made any effort to see me.. I don't want to be a paranoid clingy girl, so i'm trying to give him space to figure out what he wants. But I haven't seen him in 2 weeks, and I'd really just like to know if we're over or if he wants to continue seeing me. When I've asked he says he misses me and wants to see me but he doesn't ask me out for a specific day, and then he'll go cold and not text me for a few days and when he does text me it's just how's your day going or i'm feeling sick today or other small talk. What's going on? Do you think I did/said something to turn him off that he's not telling me? Did he just want sex? Does he think I'm pressuring him into a relationship too quickly? Should I just forget about him and move on? I don't want to lose this relationship over a misunderstanding, but I also don't want to continue torturing myself with what if's much longer..
BriannaClaire Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 (edited) I would continue to give him space. Dissappear and don't respond to him right away. I know it sounds like game playing but don't make yourself too available...if after a couple of days he doesnt text you or try to get your attention back, he probably isn't worth the effort you were putting in. What's wrong with small-talk though? If a guy texts you regularly just to see how your day is going, that probably indicates that he likes you.... Edited November 2, 2011 by BriannaClaire
musemaj11 Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 He pursued you in the beginning and now its your turn.
Leegh Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 I would continue to give him space. Dissappear and don't respond to him right away. I know it sounds like game playing but don't make yourself too available...if after a couple of days he doesnt text you or try to get your attention back, he probably isn't worth the effort you were putting in. What's wrong with small-talk though? If a guy texts you regularly just to see how your day is going, that probably indicates that he likes you.... I agree with BriannaClaire, except that I would give him more time than a couple of days. If you don't hear from him and are still bothered by this situation in mid-December, you could send him a Christmas card or text him wishing him a Merry Christmas and indicate that you would like to see him again. In other words, I would try one more time, sometime next month.
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