2sunny Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 QW is giving off some crazy negative energy - all seems directed at SS. What's your agenda Quantum?
dasein Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 QW is giving off some crazy negative energy - all seems directed at SS. What's your agenda Quantum? He gave her the best, most honest advice in the thread in a previous long post. And I will summarize it again because it is being ignored: 1. If you want to do NSA, you can't mix dating behavior in and have good odds of things working out as you wish. Misunderstandings are almost inevitable. 2. Going on internet NSA sex sites to find men who want no strings, and then expecting them to comply with your list of strings wholesale, is an unrealistic expectation. 3. Selecting men who are willing to have sex completely and totally on the woman's terms with knowledge she is sleeping with other men, and then expecting those men to display sterling character and integrity in their dealings is unrealistic. That is the bare essence of some very good constructive criticism he/she offered her. If OP is determined to continue her course of behavior, I hope she listens to it and adapts her behavior. But I suspect, as is so often the case when you tell women they have to alter either their behavior or expectations when there is a conflict between the two, the crystal clear reasoning will break down somehow, and she will continue exactly as she has and the same problems will arise again, maybe over and over.
joystickd Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 going out to dinner or drinks & topping the night off with sex, sounds like a pleasurable night for both parties I think some of the guys are mad they can be one of the parties in this equation. Imagine eating dinner then eating someone sitting on my face oh yeah
2sunny Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 She outlined her expectations - it was going well - then he crossed her boundary (breaking the terms of said agreement) - she ended it respectfully. It looks likes healthy situation - and a very healthy reaction to the change of agreement. If everyone would have such a reaction and a healthy boundary - no matter what the circumstances - the world would be a simpler place to live. "you cross my boundary and you're out". Not a thing wrong with that!
Duckduckgoose Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 Seems like one ice cold pussy I wouldn't stick my dick in if I was a man I am divorced too, my exH wasn't real nice about it, when he left he gutted me like a fish. I am still rebuilding my life. But I do not act this ice cold and defensive about men. I can't blame and punish another man for what my exH did to me. I hurt inside a lot, but it's mine to deal with, not something to redirect into stringent rules used to keep anything with a penis at arm's length so I don't get hurt again
Author soserious1 Posted November 4, 2011 Author Posted November 4, 2011 Seems like one ice cold pussy I wouldn't stick my dick in if I was a man I am divorced too, my exH wasn't real nice about it, when he left he gutted me like a fish. I am still rebuilding my life. But I do not act this ice cold and defensive about men. I can't blame and punish another man for what my exH did to me. I hurt inside a lot, but it's mine to deal with, not something to redirect into stringent rules used to keep anything with a penis at arm's length so I don't get hurt again LOL, There's one little point you seem to be forgetting here, I seek out men who also desire to keep their sexual partners at arm's length be it to protect their fiscal assets or their hearts nobody is being "blamed or punished" on the adult dating sites, unless of course that's their kink
Author soserious1 Posted November 4, 2011 Author Posted November 4, 2011 (edited) He gave her the best, most honest advice in the thread in a previous long post. And I will summarize it again because it is being ignored: 1. If you want to do NSA, you can't mix dating behavior in and have good odds of things working out as you wish. Misunderstandings are almost inevitable. 2. Going on internet NSA sex sites to find men who want no strings, and then expecting them to comply with your list of strings wholesale, is an unrealistic expectation. 3. Selecting men who are willing to have sex completely and totally on the woman's terms with knowledge she is sleeping with other men, and then expecting those men to display sterling character and integrity in their dealings is unrealistic. That is the bare essence of some very good constructive criticism he/she offered her. If OP is determined to continue her course of behavior, I hope she listens to it and adapts her behavior. But I suspect, as is so often the case when you tell women they have to alter either their behavior or expectations when there is a conflict between the two, the crystal clear reasoning will break down somehow, and she will continue exactly as she has and the same problems will arise again, maybe over and over. Actually in light of what happened & the excellent advice given here I have decided to alter my behaviors, I'm seeking to find an agency that offers male escorts, it will be pricey but will greatly reduce the chances of anyone developing feelings & these types of situations cropping up in future.If I do use the online sex sites in future, I will simply meet the man in an inexpensive hotel room, have sex and leave & will save the social activities to partake in with actual friends. I thank you all for your help. Edited November 4, 2011 by soserious1
joystickd Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 Actually in light of what happened & the excellent advice given here I have decided to alter my behaviors, I'm seeking to find an agency that offers male escorts, it will be pricey but will greatly reduce the chances of anyone developing feelings & these types of situations cropping up in future.If I do use the online sex sites in future, I will simply meet the man in an inexpensive hotel room, have sex and leave & will save the social activities to partake in with actual friends. I thank you all for your help. Hell if you was NC you could get with me. I'm looking same thing you looking for. For free I'm super cheap compared to a male escort
Author soserious1 Posted November 4, 2011 Author Posted November 4, 2011 Valtrex.................................................................. LOL, whatever.. no insult you could possibly sling at me hurts more than having to sit down to write the monthly alimony check, lol, now that is some serious PAIN!
Author soserious1 Posted November 4, 2011 Author Posted November 4, 2011 Hell if you was NC you could get with me. I'm looking same thing you looking for. For free I'm super cheap compared to a male escort When a person pays for an escort they aren't so much paying for the sex as they are to be sure the person leaves afterwards & doesn't initiate contact again. Employing the "free" option didn't work out very well but I thank you for your generosity & willingness to share yourself.
joystickd Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 When a person pays for an escort they aren't so much paying for the sex as they are to be sure the person leaves afterwards & doesn't initiate contact again. Employing the "free" option didn't work out very well but I thank you for your generosity & willingness to share yourself. Whenever you up for it I am up for giving you multiple orgasms. I love giving oral lol;)
Ruby Slippers Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 Whenever you up for it I am up for giving you multiple orgasms. I love giving oral lol;) Awesome. And men wonder why we find this hard to resist.
Author soserious1 Posted November 4, 2011 Author Posted November 4, 2011 Whenever you up for it I am up for giving you multiple orgasms. I love giving oral lol;) LOL, a useful tongue lashing at last! I bet you're quite popular with the ladies in your area
joystickd Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 LOL, a useful tongue lashing at last! I bet you're quite popular with the ladies in your area I guess I am starting to get back out there after a bad situation, but the ones that have experienced it have no complaints
Pierre Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 Some people are very bitter after divorce. The OP is oozing bitterness and the FWB will pay the prize. I wonder what would be the response if a male posted here saying that he is f****ing this woman and she actually wants to talk too much or hint a relationship. "Shut up and do your duty bitch!". Does not sound pretty when the roles are reversed.
Author soserious1 Posted November 4, 2011 Author Posted November 4, 2011 Some people are very bitter after divorce. The OP is oozing bitterness and the FWB will pay the prize. I wonder what would be the response if a male posted here saying that he is f****ing this woman and she actually wants to talk too much or hint a relationship. "Shut up and do your duty bitch!". Does not sound pretty when the roles are reversed. Excuse me but at no time did I say that this man or anybody else had a "duty" or "obligation" to have sex with me, what I am saying is that if you enter an intimate relationship with the clear understanding that it is about sex and nothing more, that it is wrong to expect more or to try to manipulate a casual sex partner into giving you more. And if a man posted his frustration with a woman who'd openly agreed to a FB or FWB relationship talking about/pressuring him into more, I'd advise him to end the relationship as quickly as possible & to tell her why. Agreeing to a casual relationship ,then trying to turn your partner's "no" into a "maybe" & guilt tripping them because they won't cave to your demands for a relationship is wrong, plain and simple.
dasein Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 Actually in light of what happened & the excellent advice given here I have decided to alter my behaviors, I'm seeking to find an agency that offers male escorts, it will be pricey but will greatly reduce the chances of anyone developing feelings & these types of situations cropping up in future.If I do use the online sex sites in future, I will simply meet the man in an inexpensive hotel room, have sex and leave & will save the social activities to partake in with actual friends. I thank you all for your help. Good to hear you are open to changing things to get what you want. Not sure the escort agency is a good idea to rely on because of the criminal element associated with it. Be careful of identity thieves, con artists, drug addicts, etc. basically all the same things you would need to be wary of in normal dating, just a much higher probability.
Author soserious1 Posted November 4, 2011 Author Posted November 4, 2011 Good to hear you are open to changing things to get what you want. Not sure the escort agency is a good idea to rely on because of the criminal element associated with it. Be careful of identity thieves, con artists, drug addicts, etc. basically all the same things you would need to be wary of in normal dating, just a much higher probability. Well you were correct in saying that I made a fool's move in expecting that I can get all of the things I want from my relationships. Yes, I enjoy being able to have light social contact ie: dinner,drinks etc as part of an evening but clearly this muddies the casual aspect of a FB relationship. My choices it seems are to risk a repeat (or worse) of this situation or to take away the social aspects of things so that it is crystal clear that these encounters are in no way,shape or form "casual dating" Thank you for setting me straight, I owe you a debt of gratitute
OneFootOut Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 Well I figure him dragging his offspring to my door uninvited was pretty damn cold, an aggressive power play of a move calculated to back me into a corner, I'm seriously pissed off. Sounds like this is all about YOU having control issues. You have all these men on strict rules and under YOUR control. 'Look, I want nothing to do with you except to F you when I say, by my rules. You have no right to have an independent thought about it or to make any gesture otherwise.' If someone does, you see it as them trying to undermine your authority and control, rather than an innocent gesture on their part. I guess I'm old fashioned, but I don't see why anyone would want to sleep with someone who is admittedly sleeping with a few others at the same time. Maybe you should assign each of them a day of the week so none of them will show up when another one is there.
shayla Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 Pierre, I raised my children & even if I wanted to get into another relationship I really don't want any responsibility whatsoever for another set of kids. Child rearing was great and all but the good ship motherhood has left the dock & won't be coming back Whoooo I am sooooo there with you on that one!!!! If the two of you had this arrangement, it would have been nice if he'd stuck to it. But it does always seem like sex causes changes in the participants, thus changes in the relationship. It's why I had to stop doing the FWB thing.
OneFootOut Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 I think his showing up on Halloween was the F part of the FWB. It's obvious by this post thats your definition of 'friend' must be as strict as your 'benefit' rules. Apparently he considered you a friend and stopped by as one, did you ever think of that? poor guy. Maybe you should redefine these sexual meetings more clearly without the friend part being an option.
Author soserious1 Posted November 4, 2011 Author Posted November 4, 2011 Sounds like this is all about YOU having control issues. You have all these men on strict rules and under YOUR control. 'Look, I want nothing to do with you except to F you when I say, by my rules. You have no right to have an independent thought about it or to make any gesture otherwise.' If someone does, you see it as them trying to undermine your authority and control, rather than an innocent gesture on their part. I guess I'm old fashioned, but I don't see why anyone would want to sleep with someone who is admittedly sleeping with a few others at the same time. Maybe you should assign each of them a day of the week so none of them will show up when another one is there. The part you are forgetting here is that when I seek out partners, I do so at adult sites that are focused on people looking only for casual encounter, everyone there has rules to help them ensure that their encounters stay casual. I'm not prowling on eHarmony or Match luring in & tricking men who are looking for love then setting horrible rules down on them. I'm seeking guys who have the same expectations I do - sex, with neither of us wanting to have anything to do with each other afterwards. Oh and the fellow in question here? I met him on an adult site, his profile indicated that he wanted the sane exact thing I did.
Author soserious1 Posted November 4, 2011 Author Posted November 4, 2011 I think his showing up on Halloween was the F part of the FWB. It's obvious by this post thats your definition of 'friend' must be as strict as your 'benefit' rules. Apparently he considered you a friend and stopped by as one, did you ever think of that? poor guy. Maybe you should redefine these sexual meetings more clearly without the friend part being an option. You seem to be forgetting that I met this "poor guy" on a site devoted to adults who want casual sex & that his profile listing his relationship rules/expectations matched my own.
Author soserious1 Posted November 4, 2011 Author Posted November 4, 2011 Whoooo I am sooooo there with you on that one!!!! If the two of you had this arrangement, it would have been nice if he'd stuck to it. But it does always seem like sex causes changes in the participants, thus changes in the relationship. It's why I had to stop doing the FWB thing. Well, I learned my lesson big time, from now on it's totally FB or ONS only.
Recommended Posts