joystickd Posted November 3, 2011 Posted November 3, 2011 The only bad thing about meeting someone on a internet site people may not be honest. On some level FWB sounds like a relationship without the deep connection, but then it depends on how the two people define it. The thing you should take from this is to make 100% sure the other person is on the same page and to realize that there is always a chance someone can develop feelings and it can possibly be you. Its funny how a thread about men and women interactions can turn heated. I will say this honesty can be a good or bad thing.
USCGAviator Posted November 3, 2011 Posted November 3, 2011 I don't even bother to open the doors for trick o treaters and I don't bother to pretend that I am not home. I let them know my home by keeping the lights on but don't bother to open the door. I sort of hate kids and see no need to waste money on candy for a bunch of rug rats. No one is obligated to give candy to kids on Halloween. You really shouldn't be so shocked by this. Why should I give candy to kids that aren't even mine? What are they to me? Sorry, not everyone likes kids. I remember that house. I let my kids pee on your doorstep.
Author soserious1 Posted November 3, 2011 Author Posted November 3, 2011 This thread is win. Ok, So you have 3 FWB right now, although your about to be back down to 2. What is the max limit for your sex puppets? Sex puppets? that statement implies that I'm manipulating or misleading men as to my intentions which I am not. I have casual relationships with fully informed willing partners.
dasein Posted November 3, 2011 Posted November 3, 2011 I remember that house. I let my kids pee on your doorstep. I lit a bag of poo on her porch... wait that was my ex's house.
USCGAviator Posted November 3, 2011 Posted November 3, 2011 Sex puppets? that statement implies that I'm manipulating or misleading men as to my intentions which I am not. I have casual relationships with fully informed willing partners. That's what I meant. So is there a limit in this fun house of yours?
Author soserious1 Posted November 3, 2011 Author Posted November 3, 2011 The only bad thing about meeting someone on a internet site people may not be honest. On some level FWB sounds like a relationship without the deep connection, but then it depends on how the two people define it. The thing you should take from this is to make 100% sure the other person is on the same page and to realize that there is always a chance someone can develop feelings and it can possibly be you. Its funny how a thread about men and women interactions can turn heated. I will say this honesty can be a good or bad thing. You are correct, I had thought that I was reducing the risk of getting involved in an emotionally messy situation by only seeking partners who were also looking only for casual relationships. I'm not sure how I'm going to proceed going forward at this point.
Author soserious1 Posted November 3, 2011 Author Posted November 3, 2011 That's what I meant. So is there a limit in this fun house of yours? Have you ever had a FWB? you might see the person a couple of times a week, once a month, it varies, some people have FWB who live far away & they get together once or twice a year, it's not like having a line standing outside your house holding numbers
USCGAviator Posted November 3, 2011 Posted November 3, 2011 Have you ever had a FWB? you might see the person a couple of times a week, once a month, it varies, some people have FWB who live far away & they get together once or twice a year, it's not like having a line standing outside your house holding numbers Of course, but even if she's a FWB I only see one female at a time. So my limit 1. Everyone has limits and so far your at 3. I'm just curious as to how many you think you could handle.
Author soserious1 Posted November 3, 2011 Author Posted November 3, 2011 Then no need for a thread on your disappointed expectations, is there? So he violated your emotional boundaries. So what. Since the casual sex partner was yourself, please explain why his exposing his children to very limited contact with yourself, renders him a bad parent. What do you believe is so horrible about yourself that children should not be exposed to you? Like you stated earlier, I'm a stranger their father met on an internet sex site, how in the world could he trust anything I might say or do enough to expose his kids to me?
Author soserious1 Posted November 3, 2011 Author Posted November 3, 2011 Of course, but even if she's a FWB I only see one female at a time. So my limit 1. Everyone has limits and so far your at 3. I'm just curious as to how many you think you could handle. To be honest I haven't thought about it.
Author soserious1 Posted November 3, 2011 Author Posted November 3, 2011 If the goal is to avoid emotional messiness then you need to try to pick emotionally healthy partners and obviously it also means you need to act in an emotionally healthy way yourself. Can you honestly say you have been putting a prime focus on selecting emotionally healthy partners? It seems like you are going out of your way to select the opposite type of man. I enjoy light company over a meal or a live music show, I enjoy sex,I just don't have the desire to get into an exclusive or committed relationship again.
Lucky_One Posted November 3, 2011 Posted November 3, 2011 I don't even bother to open the doors for trick o treaters and I don't bother to pretend that I am not home. I let them know my home by keeping the lights on but don't bother to open the door. I sort of hate kids and see no need to waste money on candy for a bunch of rug rats. No one is obligated to give candy to kids on Halloween. You really shouldn't be so shocked by this. Why should I give candy to kids that aren't even mine? What are they to me? Sorry, not everyone likes kids. Bah humbug, Mr, Grinch. I hope someone put a bag of burning dog poo on your porch. No treatee, get trickee. But typically nearly ALL mothers do like children, and they do harbor really great memories of their children dressed up like Indian princesses or pirates or mice. And most of them really love to see kids on their doorstep chorusing "Trick or Treat!!".
Lucky_One Posted November 3, 2011 Posted November 3, 2011 I remember that house. I let my kids pee on your doorstep. :bunny: Like :bunny:
USCGAviator Posted November 3, 2011 Posted November 3, 2011 To be honest I haven't thought about it. I kinda understand what your going through. I ran through plenty of women after my heart was wrecked in marriage. I'm getting better these days and soon I'll be able to let someone passed the wall I built without fear. I'm sure you'll get to that point too someday. If not, don't worry cause you'll be a big hit at the nursing home
Author soserious1 Posted November 3, 2011 Author Posted November 3, 2011 But why doesn't this count as a relationship in your mind? Having dinner and drinks with a guy and sex afterwards sounds like a pretty good date to me. It sounds like you are actually dating these guys but for some reason have trouble accepting that. It's O.K. to date multiple guys non-exclusively if you want to. As far as all the whacko rules you attach to it, it sounds like they are in place to keep YOU from getting too emotionally involved with them, not the other way around. A true dating relationship IMHO would involve having the guy occasionally mix with my family & friends, maybe be invited to work events or being invited over on holidays. Allowing those types of things greatly increases the chances that somebody will develop feelings despite being told that exclusivity isn't on the menu. Honestly, I have no desire to make the sacrifices needed to be in an exclusive relationship & don't see that changing anytime soon, so why risk misunderstanding or hurt feelings?
2sunny Posted November 3, 2011 Posted November 3, 2011 Have you ever had a FWB? you might see the person a couple of times a week, once a month, it varies, some people have FWB who live far away & they get together once or twice a year, it's not like having a line standing outside your house holding numbers SS is honest about what she wants and stands firm on getting things her way. She doesn't go in to these situations with lies or pretending... Which is way more up front than what we see here from MM/MW OM/OW and even the dating section. Most of those threads reveal untruths and a multitude of pretending and fallen expectations in the initial post. Why would Quantum continue with so many questions when OP already mapped out her experience and perspective. It's as if people are looking for something to be wrong with her truth.its as if folks don't recognize what honesty looks like. I think married people lie every day... Most pretend to be happy when they aren't. Some stay when they don't want to be there. And some with hold or give sex as a weapon or to manipulate. I'm not seeing one thing wrong with OP approach... Although it may be more appropriately called a sex buddy.
Emilia Posted November 3, 2011 Posted November 3, 2011 SS is honest about what she wants and stands firm on getting things her way. She doesn't go in to these situations with lies or pretending... Which is way more up front than what we see here from MM/MW OM/OW and even the dating section. Most of those threads reveal untruths and a multitude of pretending and fallen expectations in the initial post. Why would Quantum continue with so many questions when OP already mapped out her experience and perspective. It's as if people are looking for something to be wrong with her truth.its as if folks don't recognize what honesty looks like. I think married people lie every day... Most pretend to be happy when they aren't. Some stay when they don't want to be there. And some with hold or give sex as a weapon or to manipulate. I'm not seeing one thing wrong with OP approach... Although it may be more appropriately called a sex buddy. It's not the honesty that bugs me, it's the vitriol. I think she even uses the phrase 'that will teach him' or something to that affect. Is that really really necessary when you are dealing with another human being?
Pierre Posted November 3, 2011 Posted November 3, 2011 I'm a female btw; in my thirties and that clock ain't gonna tick ever. I truly can't stand kids. I'd rather spend all my money on myself than clothe and feed someone else and ruin my body. Not the kind of life I want. Wow! The survival of the species is at risk.
Pierre Posted November 3, 2011 Posted November 3, 2011 Lol, I don't expect anything from the men I meet aside from a hot load, Hot load??????? Not with a condom
PlumPrincess Posted November 3, 2011 Posted November 3, 2011 I appreciate it when people are clear and up-front about their feelings. Maybe soserious1 sounded a bit mean, when she said she wanted to be creative when dumping the guy, but I don't think she really meant it and in the end, her way of breaking up with the guy was as respectful as it can be. I find all these I-don't-know-how-I-feel-about-you-at-the-moment-please-give-me-more-time-(so-that-I-can-find-someone-else-in-the-meantime)-people to be worse. So many people pretend to be sexually open, but when someone goes out and looks for sex without strings, they make assumptions about that person's character and moral integrity. I guess, adult websites tend to be seedy places where there are lots of people with dubious character, but I'm going to assume that soserious1 did some prior weeding and only accepted guys who seemed to be decent people and who seemed to be able to stick to rules that both parties agreed upon.
Negative Nancy Posted November 3, 2011 Posted November 3, 2011 (edited) I understand soserious. She never wants to get hurt and taken advantage of again, so even if the guy indeed has developped feelings for her, what does it matter? Who can guarantee her that he won't lose interest in her either? Who's to say he just doesn't want to use her as a surrogate mom for his kids? (This is nothing against soserious whatsoever, as in - this not meant to be judgmental in regards to looks or age - I don't know her, after all. I'm just saying - you never know with men. This one might turn out to be a scumbag too.) So I'm not with all these people who try to make her out to be a horrible person. She's not. She laid the cards on the table from the beginning and she was straight up. Really weird how everyone on here offered the other female poster who was in a similar predicament all this sympathy and support and stuff, and here soserious gets bashed and is portrayed as the cold, heartless bad guy...is it just me who thinks some posters have double standards? Edited November 3, 2011 by Negative Nancy
Author soserious1 Posted November 3, 2011 Author Posted November 3, 2011 Actually she IS a horrible, selfish, cold fish of a woman.... Actually the only people who think that are men who were disappointed that I'm not willing to share my money with them, cook & clean for them or give up my interests to caretake for their preexisting children or elderly parents. I seek casual relationships with men who aren't interested in sharing either, nobody is being lied to or led on here.
Author soserious1 Posted November 3, 2011 Author Posted November 3, 2011 So much for "safer sex." My response was sarcastic in response to a sarcastic line of questioning.
Author soserious1 Posted November 3, 2011 Author Posted November 3, 2011 I don't think so, this thread is just soserious venting. She seems overly-accommodating by her description of what she actually does in real life with these guys. and what is it to you? what's your other username here? I can't believe you registered here just to go after me. oh and I'm not clear of what is "overly-accomodating" about going out to dinner or drinks & topping the night off with sex, sounds like a pleasurable night for both parties
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