ThsAmericanLife Posted November 5, 2011 Posted November 5, 2011 Sorry but I didn't see where OP said there was a rule against trick or treating. That's exactly what he tried to do. It's not disrespectful to knock on someone's door and say "hi" after three months of dating them and banging them. Yes he had an uzi. It was an ambush. He brought his children over. Doesn't matter what the pretense was. Again, I'm not arguing over the value of their rules. Just that they had them and he broke them... especially involving the kids. I believe that has been her objection all along. That she was not given any other option than to oblige him and the children in that moment. She did oblige him in that moment. And I guess he decided he'd rather use passive aggressive means of seeing if she would allow him to push things to a level HE was comfortable with rather than discussing it when the children weren't around. You don't have to agree with her style of relationship. I'm simply arguing that they had rules that both agreed to in the beginning and he broke them. He doesn't have any 'rights' other than not being abused, mistreated, or lied to. She has done none of those things. In fact, I think she exhibits a care, self awareness, and level of accountability in her interactions that is quite rare. I wish more people were as up front as her. Too many people here on LS want to believe there are no 'rules' when it comes to human interactions... or think that if they have good 'intentions' then it doesn't matter what peoples rules or boundaries are. I don't share that opinion.
ThsAmericanLife Posted November 5, 2011 Posted November 5, 2011 LOL I'm not angry at all. You're the one who's angry. I think you have the mistaken expectation that you can spew your anger about some guy you were boning because he made a relatively minor "false move" (in your opinion) and think that anyone else has to take it as anything other than an indication of your severe emotional instability. I've simply given you a practical suggestion: If you don't want to have sex with real live human beings, that is, the WHOLE human being, then don't. You don't have to. I'm actually going to defend the OP's choices and say I don't see anything pathological about it at all... as long as the rules are stated up front. Believe it or not, my chosen lifestyle is a polar opposite of the OPs. I'm actively looking for a committed relationship leading to marriage and won't have sex with a guy who multi-dates at any level (not even coffee 'dates'). So you might wonder why I could possibly defend her choices. I have SERIOUS problems with people who treat people's emotions as play-things... which is actually what MOST people here do because they don't have an f-ing clue what they want... they don't set rules, they don't keep rules... blah-blah-blah. Doesn't matter if someone wants to bone 100 men a week or one man for a lifetime... consistency, willingness to share your expectations, accountability.. these are the hallmarks of a responsible caring person. The OP has done nothing that indicates a lack of responsibility or accountability from what I can tell. She IS getting slammed for being a woman who wants casual sex and is willing to play by those 'rules'. Sorry if that offends your sensibilities.
2sunny Posted November 5, 2011 Posted November 5, 2011 I can't even believe someone suggests looking for a MM just because a single gal wants sex. That is the most hideous and I have ever seen here! You want sex - go step into someone else's sacred marriage... That thought makes me sickened!
HeavenOrHell Posted November 5, 2011 Posted November 5, 2011 So just tell him! Why make a big deal out of it on here?! And so what if you'd been 'entertaining' someone else, why would it be embarrassing, you all know the score, so why does it matter if one FWB comes face to face with another? Actually, I want to punish him for daring to overstep MY boundaries,this guy was a casual piece of arse & knew this right from the beginning. And to drag his kids over here? what if I'd been entertaining somebody else, that would have been awkward as all hell!
ThsAmericanLife Posted November 5, 2011 Posted November 5, 2011 ..don't know why I didn't think of suggesting this earlier... soserious, have you thought about going to a swinger club or getting involved in that lifestyle? What about legitimately open relationships? The 'good' ones have some pretty well established rules... most of them being sex only. The best part about it is that you will have some sort of 'community' of like-minded people who are careful about their sexuality. Yes, there are some bad ones. You'll have to sort that out. But the risks of coming across anyone seriously dangerous are much diminished in most circumstances. They also place alot of weight on discretion. Still, not for me... but it seems a viable alternative for people looking for sex-only and don't want to be involved in a possible cheating situation.
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