JASS Posted November 1, 2011 Posted November 1, 2011 I am so confused about my relationship and need some advice. My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years and have an amazing little girl together. Our relationship has always been a little frustrating and it has just gotten worse. I feel completely unappreciated. I work full time, take care of my daughter and am in school. He works overnights 4 days a week and is obviously not able to help those days. The problem is I get no credit. If I clean there is something wrong with the way I do it. If I can't make dinner before he leaves I am criticized. He is off Saturday, Sunday and Monday but he is always doing something instead of helping me, and if I ask I am being selfish. I do not feel emotionally supported in our relationship at all. If I bring up a problem he takes it as a personal attack and gets defensive. The problem is I love him so much. I want it to work but he won't go to counseling and I can't talk to him. He is a great father and it breaks my heart that if we split he will not be able to see our daughter as much. We had a fight where we almost broke up but decided to stay together. Since then all I have thought about is leaving and it is killing me. I just dont know if there is any hope left. It hurts so bad to think about ending it, I just don't know what to do. Any advice would be appreciated.
notmel Posted November 1, 2011 Posted November 1, 2011 Jass marriage is work some take more work than others but its never always easy for anyone. You are not going to change him only he can do that you can only change your self and how you deal with him. I would book a meeting with a counselor tell him YOU are going wether he wants to join you or not. In my experience most marriages fail when one party gives up ,cuz it takes 2 to make it work .The couple may still cohabit but the marriage is dead ,its just the corpse has not been desposed of. It sounds like your problems are not insurmountable in fact sound pretty typical young small children feelings of not being appreciated etc. Give it some time and some effort before ya pull the plug.
YaOldBuckaroo Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 Hey Jass No offense, but you're husband is acting really immature. How old is he? Yeah the post by notmel is absolutely correct, and your marriage is indeed in dire need of reconstruction. You're doing everything right, but he isn't, and what's worse is he's in a state of denial where he thinks he's right. He's not putting enough effort in the marriage, or for taking care of your child for that matter. Counseling would definitely help, but if he refuses to do so then maybe some other solutions can be put into play while waiting for the right opportunity where he'll agree to see the counselor. Keep doing what you're doing, but try to be more subtle when you bring up any concerns or problems with him. Hopefully, he'll learn to appreciate what you're doing, and slowly begin to change. Max
Recommended Posts