Kae7s04 Posted November 1, 2011 Posted November 1, 2011 My ex broke up with me nearly 2 months ago and I still have a sense of dread when it comes to the future. In fact I don't want anything but my old life back, even of it wasn't that great. I hate that, and I just can't see a future for me even tho I have plans, I just don't care about them anymore. It makes me feel so pathetic that one person can make me feel like this. Also, I'm having the problem of not being able to really do anything because everything reminds me of him. I just went to the mall for the first time since the break up and I couldn't get out of there fast enough. Everything was a reminder of something we did, he did or something that we were going to do together. I can't take this feeling anymore! Why can't I just live my life and let him go??!!
skyle Posted November 1, 2011 Posted November 1, 2011 I know how you feel, We've been split up for two months now and although she says she misses me, she only wants to be friends. I am now starting the NC/LC because we have never really stopped talking and now I need to show her what she is missing. In your case, it's difficult to get over things, there will always be things that remind you of him. I still have that difficulty of walking past the place we kissed last, everyday to go to work. But it really does get easier...I still hate the fact that I can't be anything more than friends with my ex. You just have to take it day by day, honestly there's no point looking to the future yet. It's all easier said than done, I know that for a fact as I am still going through it. But the fact is, if it is meant to be then it will happen. You just have to think about yourself, socialise with friends and keep occupied. I'm still trying now and you get days where you feel very alone but you just have to think about the positives...show them what they are missing! HUG
ChelseaLS Posted November 1, 2011 Posted November 1, 2011 My ex broke up with me nearly 2 months ago and I still have a sense of dread when it comes to the future. In fact I don't want anything but my old life back, even of it wasn't that great. I hate that, and I just can't see a future for me even tho I have plans, I just don't care about them anymore. It makes me feel so pathetic that one person can make me feel like this. Also, I'm having the problem of not being able to really do anything because everything reminds me of him. I just went to the mall for the first time since the break up and I couldn't get out of there fast enough. Everything was a reminder of something we did, he did or something that we were going to do together. I can't take this feeling anymore! Why can't I just live my life and let him go??!! Ah yes the joy's of a life spent together, only to come apart. I understand, as I am sure everyone here does. Songs remind me of my ex, half of my belongings remind me of my ex as we picked up a lot of them on travels. I understand wanting the old life back too. Sometimes I say to myself "I could put up with that forever, I am sure I could", but that shows a serious lack of respect for yourself and you deserve better. I would suggest some counselling if you are struggling this much. If you can't afford counselling, perhaps some books on the subject of letting go and moving on. I have mentioned it in many of my other posts... there are many times each day where I have to verbally have to tell myself to "get up, get moving, get out of the house, you can do this Chelsea". Whatever it takes. You don't want him to see you struggling, it's not an attractive quality.. dont take that personally. Show him you are confident and just fine with out him. You can and will do it.
mike588 Posted November 1, 2011 Posted November 1, 2011 (edited) My ex broke up with me nearly 2 months ago and I still have a sense of dread when it comes to the future. In fact I don't want anything but my old life back, even of it wasn't that great. I hate that, and I just can't see a future for me even tho I have plans, I just don't care about them anymore. It makes me feel so pathetic that one person can make me feel like this. Also, I'm having the problem of not being able to really do anything because everything reminds me of him. I just went to the mall for the first time since the break up and I couldn't get out of there fast enough. Everything was a reminder of something we did, he did or something that we were going to do together. I can't take this feeling anymore! Why can't I just live my life and let him go??!! I know EXACTLY how you feel. I was dumped 3 months ago and it seemed everywhere I went there was something that reminded me of her.I was a walking zombie! She has an uncommon name also and I swear it seemed like every other movie,,, commercial her name came up!! Awful!! To this day I still avoid certian stores,movie theaters,resturants etc. cause it triggers happy memories and we won't have those anymore. Time will help you deal with those feelings and triggers,, I'm in much better shape than I was last month and you WILL TOO I promise you that!!! Don't worry about next year,,next month or week now,, just take it day by day. Hang in there,, time is your friend,, it's a matter of re-adjusting. Your not alone!!! Edited November 1, 2011 by mike588
headsashed Posted November 1, 2011 Posted November 1, 2011 Im the same,im just over 7 weeks into my break up and everything reminds me of her,but instead of avoiding places etc i do the opposite,as the saying goes "to overcome a fear you must face that fear" ,well its not really worked as of yet but im sure it will in time. My ex spent basically everyday at my house and everything in here reminds me of her so i decided to move,and that cant come quick enough,and mike, i know exactly what your saying when you say that every movie etc has her name in it,it happens to me all the time,i even got a friends request on my fb from a girl with the same name and this girl used to be best friends at school with my ex. thats some crzy stuff,she's good looking though so i confirmed her haha.
ChelseaLS Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 That's strong headsashed. Perhaps I should give it a try. Here's an ironic punch in the face... The ex broke up with me on Saturday... On Tuesday I get a request to have one of his five sisters add me as family on her FB... Oh I laughed and then got mad. Cruel universe.
headsashed Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 Im trying to be strong,ive had my weak moments but i bounced back,ive faced my fears,ive not changed where i go,where i walk my dog (past her house), well ive no choice in that part. The thing is,my ex knows how to push all my buttons,she hasnt done anything as of yet but im sure she will sometime soon. Wait,isnt this thread about memory triggers lol? back to it then. Even facebook reminds me of my ex but i havent stopped using it,why should i? i bet our ex's whom dumped us aint having these memory triggers and avoiding things we all shared together so why should we? If were strong we will get through it no matter what, We have all got over past break ups havent we? well we can do it again,its their loss hehe
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