LSgirl Posted November 1, 2011 Posted November 1, 2011 Last night was Halloween and I ran into my ex at a bar. At first I walked by and the 2nd time we briefly said hello, joked a bit and then the third time we started talking. For about an hour, we laughed, joked, flirted. I played it so cool like I was having fun (I even fooled myself that I was that cool and sexy lol) I told him it was good to see each other and he said "it doesn't seem like that much time has passed" I think he was commenting on how comfortable we were and it was almost like we were back together. There was some flirty touching, I made him laugh, it was awesome. Then, slowly as we were drinking we started talking about the breakup (ugh!) I should stuck with being fun and cool. I kept it light and made it seem like i accepted the breakup (inside im hurt) and that I didn't appreciate how he broke up with me over text. He said that he has tried writing me many times on what to say but could never send it (I believe him, he's a very honest straightforward guy) I told him that I felt good I gave the relationship 100% and did everything I could. He said we were arguing the past few weeks of our relationship and I sent him long angry texts. I made it seem like I was doing well and he said "You're over it that quickly?"He said at the time of the break up text, he had just woken up. I asked him about the surprise gift he was supposed to give me (before the breakup) and he said that he still had it and I would like it and I could get it tomorrow. Mindful, I had been drinking, so I'm thinking this is how it went down last night lol I could be missing a lot of key components of our talk. But it didn't end well. The last thing I said to him was "I realized I was just a rebound" He looked at me and said "you're not a rebound" and walked out of the bar and went home. This was around 1:30 in the morning. Then I texted him: Me: Well I guess that was your goodbye Him: I want to tell you im sorry but there's no words that could carry that message for me. And I want u to be one happy little girl. Like I said u deserve the best. I still owe you that phone call and an explanation. But the accusations and threats are big red flags to me an i didnt want to be subjected to that over a lifetime. Plus u can do better than me anyway I hope ur feeling better and im sorry if I hurt you. Him again: That was somethign I was working on but thought u deserved more (i think this was in response to my first text) Me: Why did u walk away like that? That was just as bad as your breakup text. Him: What else can I do? I've laid the losing hand down. How can u look at me the same? All I want is for u to be happy. Till death if I could. Me: You're good at walking out on me. Cheers, (his name). Him: Hallelujah i love her so harry belefonte lol Me: I dont get it Him: Good song its a belefonte for me tonight. Blues album 1959. So...what does this all mean! I would LOVE to get back together, but the the way he walked out and the texts seem far from it. At the bar we had so much chemistry, he was even touching me flirty like we were together. Said I could still have the surprise gift and when we drank, I said "cheers to be friends" and he said "I hope we can hang out soon". I don't understand! Sorry this so long, I only slept 2 hours and have to be at work in 45 minutes. Please somebody give me advice on what this all means. I plan to go back to No Contact again (it was NC for 9 days til last night since the breakup)
AlisaMarie Posted November 1, 2011 Posted November 1, 2011 Good luck at work today! I think you had a nice convo with your ex, and it's time to just move on. For now. From what I gather- there is a lot of chemistry (but sometimes alcohol will do that) and there are still feelings. Let it go for a while, don't make contact. If he contacts you though... play it cool and maybe set up a sober coffee date or something. Just don't get too clingy or desperate. I really don't think all hope is lost here. You have to play the cards out right though.
Author LSgirl Posted November 1, 2011 Author Posted November 1, 2011 Thanks for your reply. Someone pointed out in another forum that I was being melodramatic by saying "i realized i was a rebound. you're good at walking out on me, etc.." and is probably right and he doesn't want to deal with it. but in any case, i wonder if that conversation last night was that explanation and closing of the breakup or will i hear from him again? i really wish we weren't drinking, but i had fun for the most part, don't regret bumping into him. it was just the last 15min went downhill.
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