Cooldude101 Posted November 1, 2011 Posted November 1, 2011 Hello there. Well about 3 years ago I went out with a girl I am madly in love with. We went out for about a year. And nearing the end I had a psychotic episode, so I couldn't handle anything. I don't know why that made me break up with her. But I did. So, over two years of me still being in love with her, she rebounded, a lot. We were always on and off with talking etc. But recently we actually became legit friends, and on facebook she did a 'like for confession'. So she inboxed to me: 'I miss you so much. You were the best thing I had. I miss what we had.' ,then I said . I'm sorry for breaking up with you. I don't know why I did it, etc. So this is why I'm posting it here, can anyone help me out on this? What should I say or do. I am madly in love with her. By the way. She is a bit of a, slut? Getting with plenty of guys (had sex twice in one night). Plus when we speak, she makes no effort.
smudge21 Posted November 1, 2011 Posted November 1, 2011 Are you sure you want her though? One line you praise her, the next you call her a slut. That said, just because someone has sex doesn't make them a good or bad person, it's just something they want to do. If they're single, playing it safe and it's their choice, then so be it. The fact is you told us you think she's a slut which indicates it's a problem for you, so would it be a problem in a relationship? If you can't handle her being that way now, how are you going to handle her past when you're together? I think you need to work on it slowly. Stay friends and just take things steady until you're sure what you want and what you can handle. Don't go jumping into bed with her just yet! If you both want it to be serious and to mean something, then prove it by avoiding the sweaty stuff for a while. There's no rush is there? Oh and the reasons you broke up, have a serious think about what caused them and if needed, talk them through with her. Last thing you want is to repeat the past due to the fact you forgot it.
Author Cooldude101 Posted November 2, 2011 Author Posted November 2, 2011 Yes very true, jealousy and anger won't help the situation and calling her those hurtful things won't make me feel better or get her back. Thank you for the advice. I really appreciate it.
syz Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 (edited) Look irrespective of whether you feel like judging her behaviour or not I think you need to ask yourself are you judging her behaviour because she is a female, (as in only women can be sluts etc) or if its because you don't want to be with someone who treats sex so casually. Seriously some people don't care if their soon to be or once upon a time significant other likes to play the field because they are similar themselves. But sometimes even if someone is single you can find their behaviour off putting. As long as there are no double standards that seems fine. I don't know that I'd want to be with someone who slept with two different people in a night. (baring some kind of emotional drunken lapse in youth but at my age 42 it would be a pretty huge red flag) especially casual hook ups, whereas a one time threesome with some people they had a good relationship with would be fine. We have to define these things for ourselves and figure out why we have the morals/guidelines we have. I don't expect things from others I wouldn't expect from myself. I would expect someone I broke up with 2 years ago to have slept with someone or a few people. But I wouldn't necessarily want them back if they had slept around. That's me though. Edited November 10, 2011 by syz
2010_Sorry Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 You say that you're madly in love with her, but are cautious because she seems non-responsive to your advances. Keep in mind you broke up with her, you have to be very up front and honest with her. If she is who you want, then you have to go for it. smudge is right, be sure you can evaluate why you broke up the last time, so you don't repeat the past.
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