oaks Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 I long should I wait? I mean I wanna give her space. Should I wait a couple weeks? Nah. Ask her next time you see her. The advantage of this strategy is that, if she rejects you, you get to move on more quickly and if she says 'yes' you get to go on a date more quickly. Why delay either of those?
Author one goal Posted November 2, 2011 Author Posted November 2, 2011 Nah. Ask her next time you see her. The advantage of this strategy is that, if she rejects you, you get to move on more quickly and if she says 'yes' you get to go on a date more quickly. Why delay either of those? Well we dont have the same classes so I dont see her very often at school. So texting, facebook is how I talk to her mostly. Last Friday first time I saw her in about a month.
oaks Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 Well we dont have the same classes so I dont see her very often at school. So texting, facebook is how I talk to her mostly. Last Friday first time I saw her in about a month. Oh. Well, call her.
Author one goal Posted November 2, 2011 Author Posted November 2, 2011 Oh. Well, call her. Whats wrong with texting?
jerbear Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 Whats wrong with texting? Ultimately you want to be in the bush but you keep on beating around the bush.
oaks Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 Whats wrong with texting? Some girls would prefer the more direct approach. In person is better than on the phone which is better than a text message which is better than a note passed in class.
Author one goal Posted November 4, 2011 Author Posted November 4, 2011 So I want to ask her out soon, so how should I word this to her?
oaks Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 So I want to ask her out soon, so how should I word this to her? I wanted you to ask her out yesterday! Get on with it! "Hi Jane. There's an Italian restaurant I want to try on xyz street. Would you like to come for dinner with me on Wednesday?"
Mrlonelyone Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 Just ask. OG inspite of what you may think how you ask a woman does not matter. If a woman likes you asking in an awkward way will not hurt. If a woman does not like you then asking in a smooth debonair way will not help. Just ask, then accept her no or celebrate her yes. Move on to better women from her no, or get to know her better after a yes. I will give you only one bit of advice. The way you ask has to have these important W's. What: What will you specifically go and do? See a movie, eat, concert etc. NOT "just hang out" When: What time on what day? Choose a Friday or Saturday nite, a date nite and a date time... Friday at 7 PM for example. If a woman likes you then that's not too much pressure it's what she's been waiting for. Where:Be specific about the places? you'll pick her up and take her here or there etc. Don't be vague. The goal now is to ensure that you get a clear answer, a YES or NO not a cop out. This is by giving her something to say yes or no to. If she gives you a cop out like (some other time...but not a very specific time and date) that's a no. If in doing this it would be "putting her on the spot" it means she's not into you and take it as a no. (Some women do not want to feel like a "bad" person by being clear and direct. They don't know how to be clear and direct yet not rude.)
Author one goal Posted November 4, 2011 Author Posted November 4, 2011 Just ask. OG inspite of what you may think how you ask a woman does not matter. If a woman likes you asking in an awkward way will not hurt. If a woman does not like you then asking in a smooth debonair way will not help. Just ask, then accept her no or celebrate her yes. Move on to better women from her no, or get to know her better after a yes. I will give you only one bit of advice. The way you ask has to have these important W's. What: What will you specifically go and do? See a movie, eat, concert etc. NOT "just hang out" When: What time on what day? Choose a Friday or Saturday nite, a date nite and a date time... Friday at 7 PM for example. If a woman likes you then that's not too much pressure it's what she's been waiting for. Where:Be specific about the places? you'll pick her up and take her here or there etc. Don't be vague. The goal now is to ensure that you get a clear answer, a YES or NO not a cop out. This is by giving her something to say yes or no to. If she gives you a cop out like (some other time...but not a very specific time and date) that's a no. If in doing this it would be "putting her on the spot" it means she's not into you and take it as a no. (Some women do not want to feel like a "bad" person by being clear and direct. They don't know how to be clear and direct yet not rude.) Problem is if it's a specific day and if she works or has class or something then she can say no. So thats why I don't want to say specific day.
InJest Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 Just go over to her dorm and ask her. If she's not there, just wait a while for her. She'll probably think its sweet you waited for her.
oaks Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 Problem is if it's a specific day and if she works or has class or something then she can say no. So thats why I don't want to say specific day. If she wants to go out with you but she's busy that day then she'll say "Oh, I can't do wednesday... but I'm free on thursday. Is that okay?" Or, if she says "I'm working that day" then she just means "no".
Author one goal Posted November 5, 2011 Author Posted November 5, 2011 So I tried calling her but she didn't pickup but texted her later because she was in class she said. I just asked if we can meetup soon and take her out to dinner one night. She works on weekends and also has papers this weekend. Anyways she said she would get ahold of me next week and she said we can eat at the school and have fun there. I told her I'd rather take her somewhere nicer but she insisted dinner at school and said that's okay. My friend told me that she's likely being cautious and setting boundaries with me in order to go slow and see how I am. He recently got out of a relationship and that's the vibe he's getting From this. So what you think? I was shocked she didn't say no But he thinks she wants to go slow hence setting up boundaries. Do you agree she can tell I like her? Should I go to dinner at school still? I'm worried she will bring friends along when it's supposed to be a date!!! To get to know her. Should I pay for her meal? If I do go eat dinner with her, does that mean little chance I get to makeout or anything then since we will be at school?
Mrlonelyone Posted November 5, 2011 Posted November 5, 2011 The best person to listen to in all of this is your friend. He knows you better than any of us ever will. However I think you should be ultracautious with giving your feelings to this. The wishy washy answer she gave you....making a date but not a firm date...is a warning sign. I don't see why she would be averse to going to Pizza hut or something. Sheesh.
oaks Posted November 5, 2011 Posted November 5, 2011 Anyways she said she would get ahold of me next week and she said we can eat at the school and have fun there. The answer to most of your questions hangs on this. She avoided agreeing to anything specific, even though you had something specific to invite her to, which isn't a good sign. Will she get back to you, or was she just avoiding saying 'no' by putting it off until 'next week'? I hope she does get back to you, but often people don't so don't be too surprised or upset if she doesn't. Whatever you do, don't bug her too much in the meantime. Well done for asking her out.
Author one goal Posted November 5, 2011 Author Posted November 5, 2011 Also I saw her post this on FB. You think it refers to me? "guess i don't know you as well as i thought." Her friend replied with this. You don't need guys. All you need is good friends How do you know I'm talking about a guy...haha
oaks Posted November 5, 2011 Posted November 5, 2011 Also I saw her post this on FB. You think it refers to me? No idea. Focus on something else for the weekend.
Mme. Chaucer Posted November 5, 2011 Posted November 5, 2011 I don't see why she would be averse to going to Pizza hut or something. Sheesh. I'd venture to guess it's BECAUSE SHE DOES NOT WANT TO SPEND TIME WITH HIM. Also, because Pizza Hut sucks.
Author one goal Posted November 5, 2011 Author Posted November 5, 2011 The answer to most of your questions hangs on this. She avoided agreeing to anything specific, even though you had something specific to invite her to, which isn't a good sign. Will she get back to you, or was she just avoiding saying 'no' by putting it off until 'next week'? I hope she does get back to you, but often people don't so don't be too surprised or upset if she doesn't. Whatever you do, don't bug her too much in the meantime. Well done for asking her out. Then everytime I'm around her now it will feel awkward.
oaks Posted November 5, 2011 Posted November 5, 2011 Then everytime I'm around her now it will feel awkward. Stop acting like you are 13.
ShannonMI Posted November 5, 2011 Posted November 5, 2011 Stop acting like you are 13. OAKS!!!!! Stop posting to this guy. He's not right in the head. Have you read through any of his past threads? THEY ARE ALL THE SAME!! He asks the same questions and gets the same advice. Advice he really doesn't follow. None of these girls like him because he's a CREEP!! That's why he feels like he needs to come on here and start thread after thread of the same sh*t. He gets nowhere with these chicks. Trust me stop wasting your time posting.
oaks Posted November 5, 2011 Posted November 5, 2011 OAKS!!!!! Stop posting to this guy. He's not right in the head. Have you read through any of his past threads? You'll probably see that I've even participated in most of them, but thanks for your concern.
Imajerk17 Posted November 5, 2011 Posted November 5, 2011 You'll probably see that I've even participated in most of them, but thanks for your concern. Yes you have. And unfortunately, you've probably encouraged further creepy-to-dangerous behavior on OG's part because you just can't stay away.
ShannonMI Posted November 5, 2011 Posted November 5, 2011 You'll probably see that I've even participated in most of them, but thanks for your concern. And you don't see how redundant they are? Apparently not. OK that's fine, I guess.
ShannonMI Posted November 5, 2011 Posted November 5, 2011 Yes you have. And unfortunately, you've probably encouraged further creepy-to-dangerous behavior on OG's part because you just can't stay away. Well when he murders someone, we wont feel bad now will we Jerk? I know I won't.
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