Woggle Posted November 1, 2011 Posted November 1, 2011 I no longer wonder. My BF is more cynical about relationships and love then I am, I didn't think that was possible. I don't believe in a dream man or a perfect man. I'd just like to find the man who's perfect for ME. Big difference. I've NEVER dumped someone for not being my "dream man". Dream = impossible to obtain. It is really hard for a man to get past the bitterness caused by a betrayal. I am in a happy marriage now and it has been years since my divorce but my blood still boils whenever I hear something that reminds of what I went through. I know I need to get over it but it just gets to me. I heard a woman refer to women like that as gentleman killers because they are the reason why gentlemen are a dying breed.
OnyxSnowfall Posted November 1, 2011 Posted November 1, 2011 And they wonder why some men become so cynical towards women. Yeah, because one woman represents all women just like one man represents all men. I have hatred for your terrible interpersonal logic. I suspect your marriage isn't as great as you want to portray.
Woggle Posted November 1, 2011 Posted November 1, 2011 Yeah, because one woman represents all women just like one man represents all men. I have hatred for your terrible interpersonal logic. I suspect your marriage isn't as great as you want to paint it. Of course it is not all women but there certainly is a trend these days.
OnyxSnowfall Posted November 1, 2011 Posted November 1, 2011 Of course it is not all women but there certainly is a trend these days. It's not a gender trend. It's a HUMAN trend. Why can't you grasp that? It's like you can't absorb reality, but will only selectively absorb what supports your faulty beliefs.
verhrzn Posted November 1, 2011 Posted November 1, 2011 Of course it is not all women but there certainly is a trend these days. A trend towards what, exactly? Girls dumping guys because they don't fit their too-high expectations? Except this thread was started by a GIRL who had GUYS doing the exact same thing to her. Men and women both treat each other terribly. Why do you always rush to act as if it's all one-sided?
azsinglegal Posted November 1, 2011 Posted November 1, 2011 It is really hard for a man to get past the bitterness caused by a betrayal. I am in a happy marriage now and it has been years since my divorce but my blood still boils whenever I hear something that reminds of what I went through. I know I need to get over it but it just gets to me. I heard a woman refer to women like that as gentleman killers because they are the reason why gentlemen are a dying breed. I agree. It makes me wish I met my BF before this woman destroyed him. He's such a great guy tho, I can imagine how much better he could be if he wasn't so cynical about love. His whole view on relationships, love and marriage are ruined by this chick. Makes me really hate bitches who use men and then break them when they're done. I'd never do that to someone.
OnyxSnowfall Posted November 1, 2011 Posted November 1, 2011 I agree. It makes me wish I met my BF before this woman destroyed him. He's such a great guy tho, I can imagine how much better he could be if he wasn't so cynical about love. His whole view on relationships, love and marriage are ruined by this chick. Makes me really hate bitches who use men and then break them when they're done. I'd never do that to someone. As far as "relationships/love" is concerned, people allow themselves to be broken and or to REMAIN broken... It's not just the other person's fault --- don't absolve the "great guy" of his responsibility for HIS perceptions and outlooks on life. There are messed up people in the world (men and women are both capable of using others), but it's someone's choice whether or not they allow themselves to become one and or remain one there, too. Being "hurt" is not an excuse. We all get hurt.............
Woggle Posted November 1, 2011 Posted November 1, 2011 I agree. It makes me wish I met my BF before this woman destroyed him. He's such a great guy tho, I can imagine how much better he could be if he wasn't so cynical about love. His whole view on relationships, love and marriage are ruined by this chick. Makes me really hate bitches who use men and then break them when they're done. I'd never do that to someone. My ex did the same to me as well. When I see a man proposing he looks like a lamb walking to the slaughterhouse in my book. I really question sometimes if women are capable of truly loving a man. Don't take this personally because it is not directed at you and I some women are capable of love but it is how I feel sometimes. Women who sincerely do want the love of a good man in their lives should focus their anger at the women who destroy good men instead of the men who rightfully don't want to put their hand on the stove after being burned once.
OnyxSnowfall Posted November 1, 2011 Posted November 1, 2011 (edited) Women who sincerely do want the love of a good man in their lives should focus their anger at the women who destroy good men instead of the men who rightfully don't want to put their hand on the stove after being burned once. Gah. Those that harm others are in need of help, not more bitterness. Either way, people essentially destroy themselves. Edited November 1, 2011 by OnyxSnowfall
azsinglegal Posted November 1, 2011 Posted November 1, 2011 My ex did the same to me as well. When I see a man proposing he looks like a lamb walking to the slaughterhouse in my book. I really question sometimes if women are capable of truly loving a man. Don't take this personally because it is not directed at you and I some women are capable of love but it is how I feel sometimes. Women who sincerely do want the love of a good man in their lives should focus their anger at the women who destroy good men instead of the men who rightfully don't want to put their hand on the stove after being burned once. Makes me angry and jealous. I wish a man would give me the chance to not burn his hand. Sadly, I've just never been in that position. I keep running into the men who are already hurt and won't commit to me. It would be nice to be given that shot honestly.
Woggle Posted November 1, 2011 Posted November 1, 2011 Makes me angry and jealous. I wish a man would give me the chance to not burn his hand. Sadly, I've just never been in that position. I keep running into the men who are already hurt and won't commit to me. It would be nice to be given that shot honestly. It's sad that women like you have to pay the price for the actions of other women.
AHardDaysNight Posted November 1, 2011 Posted November 1, 2011 My ex did the same to me as well. When I see a man proposing he looks like a lamb walking to the slaughterhouse in my book. I really question sometimes if women are capable of truly loving a man. Don't take this personally because it is not directed at you and I some women are capable of love but it is how I feel sometimes. Women who sincerely do want the love of a good man in their lives should focus their anger at the women who destroy good men instead of the men who rightfully don't want to put their hand on the stove after being burned once. Woggle, you are in a loving relationship with your current wife. Do you think she is capable of loving you?
azsinglegal Posted November 1, 2011 Posted November 1, 2011 It's sad that women like you have to pay the price for the actions of other women. I'm so tired of competing with women of the past.
OnyxSnowfall Posted November 1, 2011 Posted November 1, 2011 I'm so tired of competing with women of the past. You're involving yourself with the "wrong" men for you then.
azsinglegal Posted November 1, 2011 Posted November 1, 2011 You're involving yourself with the "wrong" men for you then. Thank you Captain Obvious, would you like a gold star for your "revelation"?
OnyxSnowfall Posted November 1, 2011 Posted November 1, 2011 Thank you Captain Obvious, would you like a gold star for your "revelation"? I prefer platinum. And apparently it's not obvious, because you're blaming it on the "women" who destroy them. Whether or not it's an embittered / cynical man or woman, they've chosen to "be destroyed"... or rather, to "persist" in ruins.
Metis Posted November 1, 2011 Posted November 1, 2011 Sugarkane: I am going to tell you the same thing I would tell a man who is scratching his head as to why none of the women he is interested in want to be with him: If men keep dumping you by text, I'd say the common denominator is you, and you should take a long, hard look at yourself. Unlike many other posters in this thread, I think it's a little facile to just say you keep picking the wrong men. It's one of the possibilities, but no more so than a great "nice guy" keeps getting burned because he isn't dating the "right women". If they are men you find desirable, then there is something about you they don't like. Perhaps you come on too strong -- their line about wanting to be single suggests this. Most people are really scared by clinginess. Hell, even clingy people are scared by it. Next time you meet someone, take it slowly. Also, when you describe yourself, you talk mainly about your looks. You generally need more for a relationship to work. These men you pick -- what do you have in common? Woggle & Co: I realize it's probably controversial to say it, but the world doesn't revolve around the Hurt Man. It doesn't and it shouldn't. You got screwed over by an ex? Get in the freakin' line. We've all been hurt, men and women all. I especially like the double standard: when a woman gets hurt by a man, it's because she's a shallow bitch who picked a player; and when a man gets hurt by a woman, it's because she is a shallow bitch, too. Nothing is ever the man's fault, and having had a "bad relationship" supplies a lifetime excuse for being an abusive *******. Knock it off. Apply the same standard to both genders. That means, Woggle, that the only one to blame for your bad marriage and your nasty divorce is you. After all, YOU PICKED HER. You weren't a "lamb led to slaughter"; don't make yourself out to be some kind of sheltered virgin. You were a shallow guy who failed to exercise your judgment, and you got exactly what you bargained for. Now go into a corner and atone to the entire womankind for what you have done by choosing the wrong person entirely through your own flaws. So -- how does it feel to wear the shoe on the other foot? And azsinglegal? Don't let your boyfriend brainwash you. There is no excuse for emotionally abusing you -- none at all. After all, YOU have a responsibility for being a good person and a good partner despite all the bad crap that's happened to you, right? Well, then, why don't you apply the same expectation to him? It doesn't matter WHY he acts like an ******* -- you shouldn't have to put up with it. IMHO, of course.
Woggle Posted November 1, 2011 Posted November 1, 2011 There are plenty of women out there who get hurt by one man and make the make gender pay for it. This is not exclusive to men.
Metis Posted November 1, 2011 Posted November 1, 2011 There are plenty of women out there who get hurt by one man and make the make gender pay for it. This is not exclusive to men. First of all, I don't see it on this thread. Given your penchant for hyperbole, I am reluctant to take your world that this "plenty of women" exists somewhere blaming all men as a hobby, the way you seem to be spending all your spare time hating women. Second, even if "plenty of women" do it, that doesn't give you an excuse to behave this way. You are from a "better" gender, aren't you?
Woggle Posted November 1, 2011 Posted November 1, 2011 First of all, I don't see it on this thread. Given your penchant for hyperbole, I am reluctant to take your world that this "plenty of women" exists somewhere blaming all men as a hobby, the way you seem to be spending all your spare time hating women. Second, even if "plenty of women" do it, that doesn't give you an excuse to behave this way. You are from a "better" gender, aren't you? I have seen on this board certain women say men deserve to get cheated as payback for men cheating. It is the same concept but nobody takes any issue with them.
Metis Posted November 1, 2011 Posted November 1, 2011 I have seen on this board certain women say men deserve to get cheated as payback for men cheating. It is the same concept but nobody takes any issue with them. First of all, this doesn't change the fact that your terrible marriage and divorce are YOUR fault, because you picked the woman. You are to blame. You were not a "lamb led to the slaughter". No one tied you up or put a gun to your head. You willingly and knowingly married a bitch, because a nice girl wasn't good enough for you. Going around blaming women won't change the fact that it's your fault. Second, are you saying your vicious hatred of women is some kind of payback for "certain" women approving of retaliation? Well, gee-whiz, why don't you say something positive about women as a reward for the overwhelming majority of women who DON'T say things like that?
dasein Posted November 1, 2011 Posted November 1, 2011 I am reluctant to take your world that this "plenty of women" exists somewhere blaming all men as a hobby, the way you seem to be spending all your spare time hating women. Hyperbole? Sweet irony. You expressly state that drawing attention to bad behavior or unrealistic expectations in some women equates to "hating" all women? that's not hyperbolic? Ah, it only works in one direction... I see. I am sorry OP is experiencing this rejection, it happens to all of us, time to move onto other options. Simple as that. Women, not men, are the primary upgraders and dumpers in relationships. When women get upgraded or dumped, it is usually because of an unrealistic estimation of their own value in the dating market. Women are told via countless cultural messages today that there is a rich, handsome prince for her, even if she isn't a rich, beautiful princess herself. The truth is not so fantastical.
Woggle Posted November 1, 2011 Posted November 1, 2011 At the time I married her I though she was a nice girl. It wasn't my fault I was lied to. When she exposed who she was I got out.
azsinglegal Posted November 1, 2011 Posted November 1, 2011 And azsinglegal? Don't let your boyfriend brainwash you. There is no excuse for emotionally abusing you -- none at all. After all, YOU have a responsibility for being a good person and a good partner despite all the bad crap that's happened to you, right? Well, then, why don't you apply the same expectation to him? It doesn't matter WHY he acts like an ******* -- you shouldn't have to put up with it. IMHO, of course. Um, I never said he was abusing me or acting like an *******. He just has serious commitment issues...and doesn't express himself AT ALL. So I have no clue how he really feels. He treats me well tho, I said that before. I just wish he would tell me how he feels either good or bad...right now I don't get any feedback.
OnyxSnowfall Posted November 1, 2011 Posted November 1, 2011 (edited) At the time I married her I though she was a nice girl. It wasn't my fault I was lied to. When she exposed who she was I got out. But it is your fault you won't let it go and that you consider all women guilty until proven innocent (yet you do not see it so with men - men are apparently innocent until proven guilty, and even then.... there are valid explanations for their "crimes" and punishments are not doled out as heavily). Edited November 1, 2011 by OnyxSnowfall
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