helpme231 Posted May 20, 2004 Posted May 20, 2004 okay, I miss my ex boyfriend alot. we were both separated from our significant others and I just happened to get divorced first (his is in Michigan mines in North Carolina). So we were dating for a while and we even stayed together when he was on deployment for six months (military). So, last time we went out he was talking about how his ex called begging for money and he was angry because she has a boyfriend and she works. So I told him if she gets on his nerves that much, go faster with the divorce crap. So we were talking and his said that some of his female friends were getting on his nerves too, and he had to stop talking to them....basically he was just complaining. He said sometimes he likes solitude which is exactly how I am (thats why we got along really well, our personalities are too much alike I think). So, I told him that I didn't want to be dating a guy that is still married but separated if I am divorced and again if she got on his nerves that much then he should move faster with his divorce plus I told him I didn't want to pay for the mistakes of another woman. So, I talked to him twice since then but thats it and he won't return my calls or emails and I just said screw it.... I can love him from far away and if its meant to be then it will be but I just take care of myself now and things are okay. But, he has the first professional modeling pictures that I ever took and I would like to get them back. What does that mean if I have already asked for them back and he won't answer me? Will I ever get them back? I figure its over so at least can I have my crap back....
whispering_willoww Posted May 20, 2004 Posted May 20, 2004 Honey, in the grand tradition of make ups and break ups there are just some material things involved that you may or may not get back. Typically when a break up happens, most of the time it is not a pretty one and usually there is some bickering and fussing about what's mine and what's yours. My advice to you is to forget about the fact that he has them, chalk it up as a loss and get more pictures done. You may wind up upsetting yourself even more if his continued response is not what you want it to be. I have been in quite a few relationships where some of my belongings have been kept and I know I have no hope of recovering them. I lived with a guy for about 10 months and left him because he was abusive. When I went back to get my furniture, and ALL of it was mine and passed down from my grandmother, some of it was missing. I had a laptop, antique lamps, side tables and a coffee table which were passed on in my family, and they were gone. He swore he did not know what I was talking about and it has been 3 years, do you think I have seen any of my stuff? Not a bit of it. That is why I say consider it a loss and a tough lesson learned. That's what I have had to do. Good luck with everything!!!!
Author helpme231 Posted May 20, 2004 Author Posted May 20, 2004 yeah, i figured because when I left my abusive ex, I got a restraining order and sold all our furniture before he could get the chance to (two bedroom house with 950 sq, feet worth of stuff for 400.00 dollars, jacka**). But, I have something of his....very very personal pictures (genitalia) and I told him that I would exchange them for my pictures and he still hasn't said anything. Oh well, maybe he wants me to never forget about his d***!
whispering_willoww Posted May 20, 2004 Posted May 20, 2004 Well if pictures of THAT don't prompt him to give up your stuff, just burn it hahaha i know that's silly but it may make you laugh in a tough situation, sometimes we just have to be a little silly to keep our sanity.
Author helpme231 Posted May 20, 2004 Author Posted May 20, 2004 I think I will keep them...they were really really nice pictures!
Author helpme231 Posted May 20, 2004 Author Posted May 20, 2004 plus, if someone liked you a whole lot are you less likely to get your stuff back from them when you break up? I want to know how that works.....
whispering_willoww Posted May 25, 2004 Posted May 25, 2004 Lets put it this way. The guy I dated for so long, broke into my old apartment and stole all the pictures I had of myself. I found out he had created some sort of shrine to me behind his bedroom door, it was kind of freaky to think about that. Then he created a webpage with a picture of us on it and the lyrics of "Grey Sky Morning", that tells me he was really crazy. Though thinking back I wonder if he missed me more or the fact that i paid all the bills. Love is strange that's true but sometimes it's down right ridiculous the extremes people will go to. Don't let yourself get tripped up on the fact that he may have really likes/loved/cared about you. That will make you have doubts and regrets about cutting your ties with him. While he may have had those feelings for you he could also be doing this because he is angry with you and wants to get back at you for breaking it off with him. Girl, there are worse things. I dated a guy for about 6 months and found out he was still married eventhough she lived in NJ and he lived here in NC. I had to cut him off, we are still pretty good friends though but I know I can never be with him because he did not tell me about his marriage until after the fact. I still stand by what I said, if he doesn't want to give your stuff back, you may just have to chalk it up as a loss. Just one bit of advice, I know you miss being with him and you are longing for something whether it's closure or another try at a relationship, before you do anything, step back from the situation and honestly look at it. What does he have to offer you, not just materialistic but emotional as well. Can he support you emotionally when his life is still being turned upside down? Is there a chance he could reconcil with his wife, you know that does happen sometimes. There is a lot you need to consider in this situation, what's it worth to you?
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