supdawg1985 Posted October 31, 2011 Posted October 31, 2011 A girl I like got out of a relationship, and we had been keeping in touch for a while. She's known I liked her all along, and she seemed interested since she would initiate contact. She got out of a relationship after several years, and got a hold of her to remind her of my interest. She said that she didn't want to be in a relationship of any kind right now, but I was wondering if that was a girl talk for "not interested". I ended up saying I would back off but asked for her number, letting her know that I would like to call her next time I was in town (I made it clear that wouldn't be for awhile). She never responded to my text and I'm wondering if I made a mistake. Was I too insensitive to her situation and got her upset with me, or was that her way of saying she's not interested anymore?
Star Gazer Posted October 31, 2011 Posted October 31, 2011 She got out of a relationship after several years, and got a hold of her to remind her of my interest. She said that she didn't want to be in a relationship of any kind right now, but I was wondering if that was a girl talk for "not interested". Yes, it is. Asking for her number after that point probably annoyed her.
AHardDaysNight Posted October 31, 2011 Posted October 31, 2011 Yeah, I agree with Star. She wasn't interested, and you pushed the issue. You probably just lost any chance with this girl.
Author supdawg1985 Posted October 31, 2011 Author Posted October 31, 2011 Well, I originally just asked how she was...you know, just getting in contact. She's known my intentions for some time and she's never been put off by it or anything, in fact she's seemed to like it. Anyway, she wanted to let me know that she wasn't looking for a relationship right now (understandably). Still, I was feeling left out in the cold, because I know how cryptic girls can be. One thing can actually mean another.... So I asked if I could have her number to gauge her interest after her telling me what I noted above. Trying to decipher her thoughts have driven me mad, so I felt I needed to do something to try to gain a clearer understanding. So was that a mistake, and if so, what should I do to mend the situation? I don't mind going no contact for a long time, but I don't want to leave an impression that would make her upset with me.
AHardDaysNight Posted October 31, 2011 Posted October 31, 2011 The only thing you can do is walk away. She probably will not respond positively to anything you do now.
Star Gazer Posted October 31, 2011 Posted October 31, 2011 When you let a girl know you're interested, and she in turn tells you she's not interested in a relationship, that's her way of telling you that she has no intention of dating you. That's probably obvious to most people, so asking for her number at that point probably annoyed her because you pushed the issue after she was pretty direct. (I'm repeating myself here.) I don't think there's anything you can do to fix this. She isn't interested, and anything you say now will only annoy her more and make it worse.
Author supdawg1985 Posted October 31, 2011 Author Posted October 31, 2011 Man, I'm feeling really lousy about this. I felt like I've done so much right up until this point. Like I was saying, she gave me the impression that she wanted to be single for now since she broke up after a long term relationship. I believe that was the honest truth because not many people get right into something after something long term like she had. I just made a big mistake, out of confusing emotion. You think saying sorry or letting her know I shouldn't have been so forward would be a good idea?
MaxNoob Posted October 31, 2011 Posted October 31, 2011 I've dealt with thousands of customers through email, and I've learned that no matter how angry someone is at me, it's almost always possible to salvage the situation by writing in a respectful manner and empathizing with their situation.
Author supdawg1985 Posted October 31, 2011 Author Posted October 31, 2011 It's just so hard when you are chasing someone. There is like an unwritten rule to not tell the other person what you are thinking. That is what made me so damned confused about everything. She either had interest in me up until that point or she was just leading me on for like a year for the hell of it. Do girls really need attention that badly? I just don't want to think that one mistake could ruin all that had happened up until this point. I don't want to explain to her everything that is going on in my mind, but I want her to realize that I feel that I was wrong to be so forward at that time in her life. I really have little peace of mind over this.
Star Gazer Posted October 31, 2011 Posted October 31, 2011 Like I was saying, she gave me the impression that she wanted to be single for now since she broke up after a long term relationship. I believe that was the honest truth because not many people get right into something after something long term like she had. Right. She gave you the impression she wanted to be single, and you believed that to be true. It sounds like it was! So... in that case... what made you think that if she wanted to be single, she was thus interested in dating you?
Author supdawg1985 Posted October 31, 2011 Author Posted October 31, 2011 Just a mistake out of confusion. I was getting paranoid and wanted to gauge her interest but it was really bad timing. I just can't let one stupid mistake ruin everything. I'm writing her a genuine and heartfelt message right now (nothing sappy or desperate) and hope to get a positive response. Then I'll just back off and let her decide what she wants, while I keep my options open. I just won't be able to live with myself if I leave on a bad note.
Star Gazer Posted October 31, 2011 Posted October 31, 2011 There is nothing you need to apologize for. Apologizing or contacting her again as you intend to will only annoy her more. But go ahead and do it... no one on LS listens anyway.
snug.bunny Posted October 31, 2011 Posted October 31, 2011 Man, I'm feeling really lousy about this. I felt like I've done so much right up until this point. Like I was saying, she gave me the impression that she wanted to be single for now since she broke up after a long term relationship. I believe that was the honest truth because not many people get right into something after something long term like she had. I just made a big mistake, out of confusing emotion. You think saying sorry or letting her know I shouldn't have been so forward would be a good idea? What are you to be sorry for, you asked her out, and she said no. Asking her out isn't something to be sorry for. It's not like you asked her when she was crying or upset over her breakup or the very same day they broke up or anything.
Author supdawg1985 Posted October 31, 2011 Author Posted October 31, 2011 Hey, I just feel I have nothing to lose. Worst case scenario, I'll be able to look back and feel I showed some character.
Star Gazer Posted October 31, 2011 Posted October 31, 2011 Hey, I just feel I have nothing to lose. Worst case scenario, I'll be able to look back and feel I showed some character. How would apologizing for something not needing an apology show character? If anything, it shows you're kinda ... doormat-like.
SingleinSouth Posted November 1, 2011 Posted November 1, 2011 It is so clear that you did nothing wrong and she is just not interested. Contacting her again will only make you look like a desperate doofus. No one likes rejection but it happens. She isn't the only girl on earth! Move on.
Author supdawg1985 Posted November 4, 2011 Author Posted November 4, 2011 Didn't message her. Damned if I do, damned if I don't.
Author supdawg1985 Posted November 4, 2011 Author Posted November 4, 2011 Uhh...what are you suggesting there? I'm thinking nothing is the best thing to do, like Cool Hand Luke says.
Author supdawg1985 Posted December 21, 2011 Author Posted December 21, 2011 Well, I definitely moved on....and moved away about 3,000 miles (not because of her, I went through a life-changing event). Now she decided to remove me from her friends on facebook. What's that all about? Whatever.
Author supdawg1985 Posted January 4, 2012 Author Posted January 4, 2012 Haha, she removed all connections to me and wouldn't respond to my e-mail about why she did that. Why would SHE hate ME? She was the one who rejected my advances, I should hate HER. Just thought that was interesting but I'm in warm and sunny SoCal, so I'm sitting too pretty to care too much.
Emilia Posted January 5, 2012 Posted January 5, 2012 She doesn't hate you, it's just that you weren't taking her original 'no' as a valid answer. Now she has made it as clear as physically possible that she is not interested in dating you or being your friend in any way at all.
chryssy83 Posted January 5, 2012 Posted January 5, 2012 She will think you are pathetic forever if you write her an apology like this. Just warning you....
ditzchic Posted January 5, 2012 Posted January 5, 2012 Haha, she removed all connections to me and wouldn't respond to my e-mail about why she did that. Why would SHE hate ME? She was the one who rejected my advances, I should hate HER. Just thought that was interesting but I'm in warm and sunny SoCal, so I'm sitting too pretty to care too much. She doesn't hate you. She just doesn't want you in her life. Leave it go, man. It happens. It's no fun for anyone when it happens that's why it's best not to dwell on it. Just move on with your life. I'm a big believer in "The best revenge is a life well lived.". One day she could look you up, see how awesome things have turned out and kick herself in the pants for passing you over. Or she could look you up, see that nothing has progressed for you and give herself a big kudos on dodging that bullet. Which seems like a better outcome to you?
Author supdawg1985 Posted January 5, 2012 Author Posted January 5, 2012 It must have been pretty obvious that we wouldn't date regardless once I moved away. So she removed me after that, and I told her if that's how she feels then so be it. I've definitely moved on and I'm over her, if she got married tomorrow I wouldn't really care. Just found it interesting...
Author supdawg1985 Posted May 2, 2012 Author Posted May 2, 2012 So I was able to see her page using someone else's profile and she deleted all of my past comments after removing me. Once again, why does she hate me? There must be a reason...not that it matters haha.
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