fortyninethousand322 Posted November 1, 2011 Posted November 1, 2011 I agree with Shattered. Until you've actually been in a relationship and have tested whether or not you will struggle with "regressing" back into porn --- you don't really know. It's just an untested claim. Some men enmesh themselves / their pleasure centers with porn unwittingly. And apparently men do "crave" variety, and men may "justify" revisiting porn if there are other issues within their relationship --- ones they're definitely not anticipating while in the throes of pining for one. But a relationship will not "fix" someone's problems, they can in fact compound them.... I do think being interested in porn will exclude you from the pool of women who are against it, but there are indeed women are not.......... still, the former is more likely to give an inexperienced older man a chance than the latter, heh. A man that "values" sex, believes it to be "special" etc and doesn't succumb to pornography is smexy IMO... don't care if he's a virgin or not, heh. There may be women who like porn or who are indifferent to it that see things similarly, but eh....... there's something intrinsic about the two associations. Well. I "dated" a girl a few years ago (I use the term loosely because I don't really know the extent of the relationship). I never kissed her (she barely let me hug her). But during the entire time we were hanging out/dating/whatever I never once looked at porn. We're talking about a little more than 6 months. Something about being around her was more arousing than pornography (and I'm not talking about sexually just energy wise I guess). So, in my (admittedly limited) experience, I'd say having a girlfriend > porn, every single day of the week.
Author AHardDaysNight Posted November 1, 2011 Author Posted November 1, 2011 I agree with Shattered. Until you've actually been in a relationship and have tested whether or not you will struggle with "regressing" back into porn --- you don't really know. It's just an untested claim. Some men enmesh themselves / their pleasure centers with porn unwittingly. And apparently men do "crave" variety, and men may "justify" revisiting porn if there are other issues within their relationship --- ones they're definitely not anticipating while in the throes of pining for one. But a relationship will not "fix" someone's problems, they can in fact compound them.... I do think being interested in porn will exclude you from the pool of women who are against it, but there are indeed women are not.......... still, the former is more likely to give an inexperienced older man a chance than the latter, heh. A man that "values" sex, believes it to be "special" etc and doesn't succumb to pornography is smexy IMO... don't care if he's a virgin or not, heh. There may be women who like porn or who are indifferent to it that see things similarly, but eh....... there's something intrinsic about the two associations. Yeah, you're probably right. Someone who watches a lot of porn will probably expect their partner to be sexually experienced...in which case I'm sunk! But I wouldn't be opposed to meeting a nice girl, who likes porn, and we could watch it together. Maybe we could come up with some ideas? Anyway, I could never get along with a super conservative Christian, for example, because we would get into fights daily about political views, religious views, sexual views, etc. She probably would even hate the kind of music I listen to! I probably should have taken the offer of the 17 year old girl I knew when I was 19, who offered to deflower me. I guess 10 years regret is pretty bad...yet at the time I thought I was making the right decision! Anyway, again I have to mention that the only thing that has kept me from suicide, and kept me mentally stable, is the viewing of porn.
fortyninethousand322 Posted November 1, 2011 Posted November 1, 2011 Anyway, again I have to mention that the only thing that has kept me from suicide, and kept me mentally stable, is the viewing of porn. Again I agree. Except for the suicide part, I've never been suicidal.
Author AHardDaysNight Posted November 1, 2011 Author Posted November 1, 2011 Again I agree. Except for the suicide part, I've never been suicidal. You haven't gotten to my age yet. You also aren't bipolar. It comes with the territory. One of the ways I balance my mania and depression cycles, along with medication, is with creativity. I write. It keeps my mind off that which I can not control.
OnyxSnowfall Posted November 1, 2011 Posted November 1, 2011 Well. I "dated" a girl a few years ago (I use the term loosely because I don't really know the extent of the relationship). I never kissed her (she barely let me hug her). But during the entire time we were hanging out/dating/whatever I never once looked at porn. We're talking about a little more than 6 months. Something about being around her was more arousing than pornography (and I'm not talking about sexually just energy wise I guess). So, in my (admittedly limited) experience, I'd say having a girlfriend > porn, every single day of the week. Well you have some experience then But I wouldn't be opposed to meeting a nice girl, who likes porn, and we could watch it together. Maybe we could come up with some ideas? It *is* possible. Anyway, I could never get along with a super conservative Christian, for example, because we would get into fights daily about political views, religious views, sexual views, etc. She probably would even hate the kind of music I listen to! Mm people come in all shades and there will always be people who exist that defy generalizations / labels / etc... there certainly are shades of other liberal Christians, and perhaps you would be most intimately compatible with one. I probably should have taken the offer of the 17 year old girl I knew when I was 19, who offered to deflower me. I guess 10 years regret is pretty bad...yet at the time I thought I was making the right decision! :eek: Anyway, again I have to mention that the only thing that has kept me from suicide, and kept me mentally stable, is the viewing of porn. Aw... well, I don't know what to say. I think a lot of porn is ****ty but we all do / use ****ty things to cope at varying points through-out our lives... I *haven't* been in your shoes, I've been in shoes that have put me against this particular thing (among others), so it is probably difficult for us to relate, but I'm not gonna fault you for thinking it's something you really need if you do think that. I'm just sorry :/
Metis Posted November 1, 2011 Posted November 1, 2011 Also, Wolf: I don't consider a rabid anti-Semite a "normal person". And this: LOL! The first amendment? I pass the first amendment over my balls. If you are worried about warping minds and messing with people's sexuality, you should stop using sexual imagery in this manner. Casting sex as something by its very nature insulting, degrading and violent does a lot more psychological damage than seeing a girl lick a guy's wiener. (And as much as I object to this, I am not proposing that we ban profanity.)
Floridaman Posted November 1, 2011 Posted November 1, 2011 (edited) I probably should have taken the offer of the 17 year old girl I knew when I was 19, who offered to deflower me. I guess 10 years regret is pretty bad...yet at the time I thought I was making the right decision! . Don't regret that decision. You made the right call there. The woman could have been intoxicated or something. Lots of guys were in situations like you, and for whatever reason, morals, religion, not having any feelings toward someone you just met, just barely knowing her first name, declined. Me included. Got a couple of casual offers including a woman I had platonically dated. She offered herself to me if I didn't break us up. She was a nice and attractive blonde that any guy would have wanted, but I didn't feel anything for her and couldn't see having sex with someone I didn't have feelings for. (Had those 2 casual incidents @25-26 I posted about a year or so before her). If you had taken her up on it, no guarantee you'd feel any different. Causal sex usually doesn't make a guy feel any better. He got rid of his virginity, all right, but still has those lonely feelings and wanting to be in a real relationship, something that woman wouldn't offer as it was "just a one-night thing..." Plus... first-time sex usually isn't that great anyway. And casual sex can be worse. Just an "in-and-out" kind of deal. You can't tell her you "love" her bec. you hardly know her.... So it's very "sex in a box" kinda deal. You feel worse afterward and wish you hadn't wasted yourself with her... Like SomeDude posited, those who had sex, but only a time or two, may miss it even more later when they aren't in a relationship... Speakin' from experience here. Edited November 1, 2011 by Floridaman
Author AHardDaysNight Posted November 1, 2011 Author Posted November 1, 2011 Well, like I said, she was the girlfriend of my coworker. I rejected her advances, because it would have caused drama at my job.
Floridaman Posted November 1, 2011 Posted November 1, 2011 Well, like I said, she was the girlfriend of my coworker. I rejected her advances, because it would have caused drama at my job. You didn't state those parts. Or maybe I missed it. Even better call now.
Wolf18 Posted November 1, 2011 Posted November 1, 2011 I actually have tried it with a "real life girl." On top of that, there are legitimate physiological reasons why someone would find the buttsecks pleasurable. It's not just some strange paraphilia the way you make it out to be. You can say the same for any strange sexual practice. Is the anus for sexual contact? It's a scientific fact that anal "sex" is one of the most dangerous , painful and disgusting sexual practices you can have. The sphincter tears quite easy that's not what it's for. If you want to do it, that's your problem and your poop stick, but don't insult everyone's intelligence by acting like the anus is for penile penetration. So the average American man is a panty-waist, and enjoying anal sex means you're gay, even if you're doing it with a woman? Interesting. I'd love to see some theoretical or empirical basis for that assertion that you didn't just make up yourself. [/Quote] Generally obsession with anus' are a homosexual phenomenon. There is a huge increase in "bisexual" "men" as of late, nobody's going to study it but you would almost certianly find a correlation between sodomites and "bisexual" tendencies. And what exactly makes you so tough? Aren't you the guy whose sole purpose for posting on this board is to talk about how you feel slighted by the female gender because your appearance isn't exactly ideal, how you're always friend-zoned, how at one point you were ripped and got girls but now you're not ripped and now you don't get girls? That doesn't exactly speak to the fortitude of your character, dear boy.[/Quote] So what? Women don't define me, your physical attractiveness doesn't say anything about your masculinity, and this is swaying away from the topic. I don't consider a rabid anti-Semite a "normal person".[/Quote] I can guarantee you that when the forefathers wrote the first amendment, they didn't have interracial gay fisting porn in mind. The First Amendment was mainly intended as a safeguard for political speech, whether you are a communist, a Nazi, a Democrat, a Republican, or any other political persuasion, the first amendment ought to protect you. If you want to argue that this woman who is criticizing Jews should be fired from her public job, then I hope you support firing homosexuals, feminists, democrats, republicans, or any other stirpe for their opinions if the special interest groups that got this lady fired pressure the state enough? Being protected by the first amendment means you should be able to give your opinion on anything and everything without state consequences like losing your public school teaching job. But of course, this is why I hate liberals. They want free speech for everything except the people who have an alternative opinion on one of the many special, political above-criticism groups in America. If you are worried about warping minds and messing with people's sexuality, you should stop using sexual imagery in this manner. Casting sex as something by its very nature insulting, degrading and violent does a lot more psychological damage than seeing a girl lick a guy's wiener. (And as much as I object to this, I am not proposing that we ban profanity.) [/Quote] Now you're just being facetious When I say I'm going to wipe my balls with the worthless First Amendment, I'm not talking about having sex with it. Omg degradation and violence . I don't give 2 ****s . You can label anything however you want, it's all 1984 style Newspeak and bunk pop psychology.
dasein Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 Is the anus for sexual contact? It's a scientific fact that anal "sex" is one of the most dangerous , painful and disgusting sexual practices you can have. The sphincter tears quite easy that's not what it's for. Not disagreeing entirely, I don't do it with the penis, but a couple of points you should keep in mind. 1. The holes are right next to each other, have been for eons, and the missionary position is a development of "last week" in anthropological history terms. All sex was doggy forever and ever in primate terms. Surely the possibility of at least some stimulation of the "nether quim" was contemplated by the beneficent creator? 2. It's not THAT fragile. I mean look what comes out of it... 3. GF not coming hard enough? Stick a finger up her "dangerous, painful, disgusting" place and she will likely insist it become a permanent addition to the repertoire going forward. "Do that thing..." "What, stick a finger up your ass?" "Don't SAY it that way, that's naaaasty!" "OK, OK..." Google "shocker sexual practice." It's not just a locker room joke some dude made up.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 TheBigQuestion You make no new points now that you didn't make back then, so I don't see the need to give myself carpal tunnel syndrome over it. That's a rather hypocritical point for you to make Big Question. You reguarly talk about the "who pays" issue. I have yet to see you make a brand spanking new point on the subject but I certainly seen you repeatidly talk about it. You should try some self evaluation. Stones and glass houses BigQuestion...stones and glass houses. I was sincere when I said that I appreciated your moment of honesty and vulnerability. You're the one who is taking my appreciation as an insult. No you weren't sincere. You aren't able to say one sincere thing to me because your too busy acting like your 12 years old instead. Taking cheap shots and making stuff up to suit your own agenda. It's plain creepy of you. Your "appreciation" was a back handed slap because you manipulated everything I've said on the subject and chalked everything up to a matter of insecurity. You didn't, with once ounce of integrity, address anything I said. Further, you went on to one again complain about my ideas on men paying and relationships instead of addressing any of the real and honest comments I made. You asked me to search for qoutes to once again make *you* the subject of the thread. And here you still fail to address anything of importance. Keep talking about misplaced anger. You're the one who has mentioned how outraged you are by what people here say Show me where I said I was outraged by what people say? Once again you use slanderous comments to misrepresent me. Congratulations are your complete inability to have a normal conversation. ..you're the one using phrases like "don't you dare," Yes I do. So what? You're a real trip. I'm quite honored actually. You're like some psychotic fan that stalks the object of their desire and then when they don't come to heal you go all Glenn-Close-bunny-boiling on them. you're the one who spends what looks like entire days writing long diatribes about the subject. Daddy is that you? Why do you think my posts often have mispelled words? I type it all out because there is a lot going into it but I don't spend tons of time fine tuning the response. And I have been away from this site for a very long time. So go ahead and log the hours you spent here over me and I bet you got me beat Big Question. I digress though, you want to have some kind of pissing contest with me and it's plain childish. You're the one who is angry. Not angry..passionate. Now you can read emotion over the internets? You're also probably the most easily offended poster on LS. I thought I was long-winded... You are long winded. Don't worry sweetpie. I do still win over you..as I always will....oh woops? did I type that out loud? Show me where I have been offended? ...but compared to you, I am "The Old Man and the Sea" and you are "Atlas Shrugged." Based on your reactions to what people say here (expressing outrage at every turn), . You do seem kind of crusty. I firmly believe that you take the internet too seriously. It's the internet. Lighten up If I took the internet seriously alot more of my conversations would revolve around Al Gore. Look, I certainly take some subjects seriously. But to critize me for it is really petty on your end. Infact, all your complaints about me come down to one simple thing BigQuestion. Pure, unadulterated pettiness. You still have yet to say anything in regards to the subject. You've made it your crusade to put me down for anything you could grasp onto with both hands from my comments. Not because these added value to the conversation..not even because anything you said was said with sincerity and a respect to help another posters. But because you are a petty manipulative person. I guess that makes you more like Lord of the Flies...hey and it's a short read on top of that. If you got any further issue with me..take it to private and stop wasting the boards time with your ridiculousness.
OnyxSnowfall Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 LMAO, AlfredShytcock?! Wolfy - I haven't personally torn, though it seems many do. Still, it's not necessarily "inevitable" either. It has been painful upon insertion, but that quickly subsides and pleasure replaces it and I forget about any pain there was prior. It's actually a really good contrast.. What does it mean when a woman likes anal sex --- does it allude to the great probability that she's straight, bi, or gay? I suppose you'd have to first believe a woman genuinely can before answering that......... Regardless, it doesn't have to do with straight and or gay preferences. Both genders have an *******.
TheBigQuestion Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 DY, you've been on this site JUST with your new name since August, and you've already accumulated almost as many posts as I have in four years. The reason I refuse to engage you in any discussion about porn is because we had this conversation a long-ass time ago, and the result was exactly the same. I would make a point, you would accuse me of thinking women who don't conform to the so-called porn ideal are garbage and that I was unwilling to stand up for "real women" (something very unwise to do when you don't know someone personally). You would emphasize this point ad nauseum regardless of its relevance to the particular topic of discussion. I'll summarize what I said a year and a half ago, because I'm in a diplomatic mood: I don't think most porn is misogynistic. It isn't harmful as long as it does not interfere with a man's interest in pleasing his significant other sexually and otherwise. Most women who have issues with men using porn are extraordinarily insecure in the first place. I've yet to meet one woman who is generally comfortable with her self image and comfortable with men's sexuality who is "against" porn. That's all. You call me petty, yet you're the one who verbalizes that you're above me in some way, and you call me crusty. Interesting.
TheBigQuestion Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 LMAO, AlfredShytcock?! Wolfy - I haven't personally torn, though it seems many do. Still, it's not necessarily "inevitable" either. It has been painful upon insertion, but that quickly subsides and pleasure replaces it and I forget about any pain there was prior. It's actually a really good contrast.. What does it mean when a woman likes anal sex --- does it allude to the great probability that she's straight, bi, or gay? I suppose you'd have to first believe a woman genuinely can before answering that......... Regardless, it doesn't have to do with straight and or gay preferences. Both genders have an *******. I should start using that as my name here. It's way more interesting/original than my handle right now. He obviously doesn't get it. I can't blame him though, considering that he by is own admission is woefully inexperienced in having intimate relationships with women.
Wolf18 Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 1. The holes are right next to each other, have been for eons, and the missionary position is a development of "last week" in anthropological history terms. All sex was doggy forever and ever in primate terms. Surely the possibility of at least some stimulation of the "nether quim" was contemplated by the beneficent creator?[/Quote] Apples and oranges. Changes in sex positions is quite different from sodomy. BTW, doggy style is from a physiological perspective, more pleasurable in my opinion. Missionary is done for the intimate or 'emotional' element, "making love". Human beings supposedly make love, while animals just do it to reproduce. I don't think I have to address the rest. A simple google search will tell you all you need to know about the dangers of anal penetration, as well as extremely uncomfortable conditions such as anal fissures and infections (getting cuts and tears in a place where feces passes through). I don't know what type of women you are sleeping with but the women i've known would probably freak out if I put a finger in their ass. Sorry, that happens in porn alright, but in real life only a very specific demographic of people are into that anal stuff.
OnyxSnowfall Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 I should start using that as my name here. It's way more interesting/original than my handle right now. He obviously doesn't get it. I can't blame him though, considering that he by is own admission is woefully inexperienced in having intimate relationships with women. What is the big question? And I suppose he can't be blamed, heh.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 TheBigQuestion DY, you've been on this site JUST with your new name since August, and you've already accumulated almost as many posts as I have in four years. Then you are a better person then me BigQuestion. I mean..seriously, what do you want to hear? As long as I'm getting my real life crap done, who cares what I do with the rest of my time? Who are you to mock it? The reason I refuse to engage you in any discussion about porn is because we had this conversation a long-ass time ago, and the result was exactly the same. I would make a point, you would accuse me of thinking women who don't conform to the so-called porn ideal are garbage and that I was unwilling to stand up for "real women" (something very unwise to do when you don't know someone personally). You would emphasize this point ad nauseum regardless of its relevance to the particular topic of discussion. I'll summarize what I said a year and a half ago, because I'm in a diplomatic mood: I don't think most porn is misogynistic. It isn't harmful as long as it does not interfere with a man's interest in pleasing his significant other sexually and otherwise. Most women who have issues with men using porn are extraordinarily insecure in the first place. I've yet to meet one woman who is generally comfortable with her self image and comfortable with men's sexuality who is "against" porn. That's all. I will bring up a point you used against me. You haven't made one new point. I think porn is harmful. You don't. Now we can both go on our way. You call me petty, yet you're the one who verbalizes that you're above me in some way, and you call me crusty. Where did I verbalize I was better then you? Back a few posts you told me I should go crawl back into the cave I was hiding in or something to that degrading affect. But that was okay Big Question? You got an issue with me, take it to private.
Wolf18 Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 I should start using that as my name here. It's way more interesting/original than my handle right now. He obviously doesn't get it. I can't blame him though, considering that he by is own admission is woefully inexperienced in having intimate relationships with women. I'm not inexperienced with women. I'm not going to completely take your bait for a fratboy pissing contest here, but in high school I slept with 3 different women, and since then have been sexually involved with 2 others. It's nothing compared to the average 22 year old woman, but I've seen worse off men. In all my sexual experiences, none of the women have ever asked for anything regarding their anus except specific instructions not to. It's not about experience. No amount of experience in the world is going to make anus' appetizing or arousing to me. Sorry, just don't swing that way.
OnyxSnowfall Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 It's not about experience. No amount of experience in the world is going to make anus' appetizing or arousing to me. Sorry, just don't swing that way. It's not about trying to get you to "come to the back side" --- it's about correcting your misconceptions about anal sex, in regards to females AND males. It is perfectly reasonable for you to even find it something to disdain --- but you're backing up your disdain with things that are not true. Just state you don't like it and it just disgusts you (and that's cool heh), not that "no female could like it" or that "guys who do it probably are gay or bi-sexual" or "it's unholy and completely unsafe" etc.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 I'm not inexperienced with women. I'm not going to completely take your bait for a fratboy pissing contest here... BigQuestion is an equal oppurtunity pisser. He will piss with men..piss with women. Pissing for everyone!
Author AHardDaysNight Posted November 2, 2011 Author Posted November 2, 2011 Look, you don't have to like anal sex, Wolf. I definitely don't, and never would try it - find it gross. That's coming from someone who has IBS and stomach issues, though, so I've seen enough crap to last me a lifetime. I do not compare my bathroom habits to pleasure, no sir not at all! But the point of this thread was to address that people have the right to do whatever they want with their bodies. As long as they aren't breaking the law (and anal sex isn't a crime where I am.) People can dress up like bunny rabbits, and dry hump each other...it's kinky, and not something I understand, but I do know it goes on (they're called furries), and as long as it's consenting adults I don't care. Reminds me of the "mice people sketch" of Monty Python! LOL! Anyway, this thread has gone in three different directions: 1. The people who support porn are supporting it, 2. DY and Onyx is leading a discussion on how damaging porn is to relationships, and 3. Wolf is obsessed with Onyx's admission of anal sex, and is leading the conversation in that direction. Quite interesting, but this thread is a mess!
dasein Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 I don't know what type of women you are sleeping with but the women i've known would probably freak out if I put a finger in their ass. Sorry, that happens in porn alright, but in real life only a very specific demographic of people are into that anal stuff. "Probably" freak out? I can assure you I thought the exact same thing once upon a time, and was proven wrong rather "handily." Look, you don't just lube up a one finger glove and start making waggling thrusting motions at her bum with it. It kind of happens naturally over time as an exploratory process. If she doesn't like it, you will get something of an angry dolphin response, but if she does like it, her orgasms will be MUCH more intense, so less work for you. I'm lazy, so less work for me is a good thing. You need to wake up about the demographic talk. Some anal play, if not out and out insertion, is fairly mainstream today, if not expected. You know how women say "he didn't know what he was doing," or "he isn't good in bed" and are really vague about specifics? Draw your own conclusions... what? do you expect them to come out and say "he didn't put a finger up my ass?"
TheBigQuestion Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 I'm not inexperienced with women. I'm not going to completely take your bait for a fratboy pissing contest here, but in high school I slept with 3 different women, and since then have been sexually involved with 2 others. It's nothing compared to the average 22 year old woman, but I've seen worse off men. In all my sexual experiences, none of the women have ever asked for anything regarding their anus except specific instructions not to. It's not about experience. No amount of experience in the world is going to make anus' appetizing or arousing to me. Sorry, just don't swing that way. I wasn't talking about numbers when I mentioned you being inexperienced, bud. How many committed, long-term relationships have you been in which you had the opportunity to mutually explore each other's sexuality? The amount of women doesn't necessarily have anything to do with it.
Author AHardDaysNight Posted November 2, 2011 Author Posted November 2, 2011 I wasn't talking about numbers when I mentioned you being inexperienced, bud. How many committed, long-term relationships have you been in which you had the opportunity to mutually explore each other's sexuality? The amount of women doesn't necessarily have anything to do with it. Hey, some people just don't like anal sex. That shouldn't be a problem.
Recommended Posts