Mark1 Posted October 30, 2011 Posted October 30, 2011 Hello everyone, It appears the situation with the girl last thread I made is at it's end, so I am moving on. I met a woman on a dating site, who is nearly 40 years old. (I am 22). I find her very attractive, and she said she is just looking for people to hang out with. She told me she was a great cook and said she'd love to cook me dinner. My question is, why would a woman nearly twice my age be so interested in getting to know me? Does she just want sex?
Art_Critic Posted October 30, 2011 Posted October 30, 2011 Does she just want sex? I'm sure she just doesn't want only sex.. but yes she wants sex.. if that makes sense.. Go for it.. dinner for 2 at her house...
cerridwen Posted October 30, 2011 Posted October 30, 2011 Hello everyone, It appears the situation with the girl last thread I made is at it's end, so I am moving on. I met a woman on a dating site, who is nearly 40 years old. (I am 22). I find her very attractive, and she said she is just looking for people to hang out with. She told me she was a great cook and said she'd love to cook me dinner. My question is, why would a woman nearly twice my age be so interested in getting to know me? Does she just want sex? Mark, it's been a long haul but I think our ship has come in. (Sorry for mixing metaphors.) Can't you smell what she's cooking? She is interested in possibly having sex but after getting to know you better. Grab your spork and make this happen.
Art_Critic Posted October 30, 2011 Posted October 30, 2011 Mark, it's been a long haul but I think our ship has come in. (Sorry for mixing metaphors.) Can't you smell what she's cooking? She is interested in possibly having sex but after getting to know you better. Grab your spork and make this happen. .... I so agree Mark
Author Mark1 Posted October 30, 2011 Author Posted October 30, 2011 Even if she says she is looking for friends?
PlumPrincess Posted October 30, 2011 Posted October 30, 2011 (edited) Even if she says she is looking for friends? You sound a bit too young and too nice to hang out with this woman and I mean that in a nice way. I'm not 40 yet, but I'd feel guilty about taking advantage of someone your age who is showing a clear lack of experience. Edited October 30, 2011 by PlumPrincess
Author Mark1 Posted October 30, 2011 Author Posted October 30, 2011 You sound a bit too young and too nice to hang out with this woman and I mean that in a nice way. I'm not 40 yet, but I'd feel guilty about taking advantage of someone your age who is showing a clear lack of experience. How is she taking advantage of me? I'm just making sure I don't offend her in any way.
PlumPrincess Posted October 30, 2011 Posted October 30, 2011 How is she taking advantage of me? I'm just making sure I don't offend her in any way. I think she wants sex with you. Given your questions, I have to assume that you're not that experienced, especially not with women. I'm not sure if you understand that sex can not only be a mere physical activity, but also involve intense emotions. Maybe you don't, but she surely does. I'd be very reluctant to get involved with someone who might get hurt easily or get attached easily, because of his inexperience.
elfling Posted October 30, 2011 Posted October 30, 2011 Hi I am a 40 year old woman who will turn 41 in a few months, and I disagree with Plum Princess because I think it is wrong to make any assumptions about what she wants or what she is like based only on her age before meeting her. Although surely there are some cougars out there who are out to use young men for sex and then dump them, it is certainly not all of us. Different people mature at different rates and have different motives. I personally have more in common with twentysomethings than people my age and hang out with male and female twentysomethings because we get along so well. I don't age like averagepeople and most thing I look 16-20 depending on who you talk to. It's not only my skin, voice, hair and body, but also my bouncy joie de vivre, high energy, and attitude about life with possibilities ahead. Men my age and in their thirties have generally been unpleasant company while twentysomethings get along so much better with me and we have a better time. I know I am a statistical outlier on the Gaussian distribution curve of aging rates, but my point is that just as some twentysomethings are exceptionally mature and wise beyond their years, some fortysomethings blend better with the college crowd than with same-age-cohorts. I want a boyfriend who can go out to a hip dance club with me and dance up a sweaty storm until 2am, or hike up a mountain with me above the clouds on a nice day, not a potbellied balding graying 40 year old whose idea of a good date is to stay in with a rental movie while complaining of his sciatica/backache/headache and popping his meds while he lies to me about various things to hide his baggage. So I would say, don't assume anything yet, just meet her and discover how she is in person and what she's up to. You might find she looks older in person than in her photo and is having a midlife crisis, and you'll want to bolt out of there fast because she looks like Grandma. You might find she is attractive but a dominant type out to use boys for sex and then dump them. You might find she is unusually youthful for her age like me and just wants good company from a man who might be a better match for her than most men her age. You might find something else entirely. If you are hoping for something of depth and substance, be on guard if she tries to move too fast. It could mean she just wants to use you and dump you, but not necessarily. If you are not willing to consider a serious permanent relationship with someone her age, try not to let it continue too long so she won't get too attached and hopeful because it is very painful to be dumped merely for one's age. I'd say have the date and if you like her, play it by ear and see if her intentions are aligned with yours.
cerridwen Posted October 31, 2011 Posted October 31, 2011 Even if she says she is looking for friends? What is she doing on a dating website if she's just looking for friends? Listen, worst case scenario is she's NOT looking for sex. No loss. You leave her house with a belly full of Taco Bake and peach cobbler. I'd say that's worth the risk, wouldn't you? @Plum--Mark is very nice but I'm not sure he's too nice. @elfling--Good advice in the 4th paragraph especially. @Pumpkin Butt--can't wait for tomorrow when the avvy comes down!
OneFootOut Posted October 31, 2011 Posted October 31, 2011 Even if she says she is looking for friends? WHY doesn't anyone believe someone can just be wanting a friendship and some company?? WHY does it always have to mean he/she wants sex?? This attitude frustrates me so much. I have lived where I am for about 6 months and just haven't made any friends yet. I stay home and stay busy. I would love to meet some friends who could come and hang out, play cards, games, cook dinner together or get take out and watch tv. Whatever. That doesn't mean I want to have sex or get physical with them. It simply means I get lonely sometimes for company other than my kids. It would be nice to simply have a few friends, regardless of age or gender. I have many online friends who are much younger than me, one of my best is a year younger than one of my sons. So what? We're not sleeping together and don't intend to, but we enjoy talking and gaming and 'hanging out' online. I'm sure if we lived closer we would hang out in person the same way. When did inviting someone to dinner start being defined as some code for 'I'll lure you with food, but I really want to have sex.' ? Are men and women no longer capable of having real platonic friendships anymore? If not, that's just sad.
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