SugarHoney Posted October 30, 2011 Posted October 30, 2011 How do you cope with knowing that you're not good enough for your ex and that they wanted rid of you? I know everyone says not to think of it that way, buts its hard when you know it must be true.
HappyFlower Posted October 30, 2011 Posted October 30, 2011 By knowing that if he thinks that highly of himself, then he's not someone I want to be involved with
solobeary Posted October 30, 2011 Posted October 30, 2011 Think about all of your exes favourite things. Movies, books, famous people, food, etc. Mine loved really bad action movies for one. No one died and made him the judge of what's good enough, fortunately.
Sugarkane Posted October 30, 2011 Posted October 30, 2011 I try and think about everything they did that wasn't good enough. I try and think if all their faults. In the end I had a list more than a page
TheJiltedGeneration Posted October 30, 2011 Posted October 30, 2011 How do you cope with knowing that you're not good enough for your ex and that they wanted rid of you? I know everyone says not to think of it that way, buts its hard when you know it must be true. well usually if a ex dumps you in this manner I would just say it wasn't that you weren't' good enough for your ex it's just that your ex didn't know what he/she wanted in the first place or even what they really need ( which seems to be a reoccurring theme on this thread). I mean if you tried all you can be in the relationship and was a good person, caring, understanding and all that jazz then really you can't really fault yourself.. It's seems that most of the time this happens.. the ex's like this really wanted something superficial ( I.E more sex, you to be taller/shorter/thiner.. to be funnier ect.. ).. or just not to be bored.. like they expect you solely to add the dynamic in the relationship.. when really they have as much responsibility to do this as you do.. so basically simply put ... they were just being a selfish ***hole.. really it sounds like they wanted you to be the strong element of the relationship as a means to overshadow their own shortcomings.. for you to be the one keeping it all afloat... ...when a "significant other" breaks up putting the blame solely on you or not "being up to standard".. they are just kidding themselves... really they just break up because they couldn't take their share of the responsibility and was relying on you to fix it all yourself.. ( or they wanted a idyllic fantasy because they have their head in the clouds.. which really NO ONE can ever deliver because thats just it a fantasy.... and why should you try to be miss/mr perfect when they are lavishing in their own weakness.. ) so dont worry your probably fine tbh just that your ex is being unrealistic and unfair..
january2011 Posted October 30, 2011 Posted October 30, 2011 It wasn't you. It wasn't him. It was the two of you together. It just wasn't a good fit. That doesn't make him better than you. You are good enough all on your own. Having said that, if it is still fresh and you're really hurting, perhaps reasoning it out is not the best way to approach this. You've just got to ride out the emotions until your head is clear.
fenderjames Posted October 30, 2011 Posted October 30, 2011 I know it feels like that at first , you were dumped because you didnt measure up . Feelings of self woth and self confidence are at a low . Can I ask you to maybe try this point of view ....... you feel you we're dumped because you " aren't good enough ( NGE ) . NGE in your exes mind . In their opinion . Know what ? You may be right . In their opinion that may be true . However , you do not live and exist to measure up in someone elses eyes . Can you inagine if we all tried to live up to others standards ? We'd all be looney and no one would succeed . If I passed you on the street , said hi and that I thought your shoes were not to my liking , you'd prob. laugh and tell me where to go - because my opinion would not really phase you . Now , when someone we love voices their opinion , we tend to obviousely heed thier words and let them inside of us ( esp if its a critisism ) . So , when a rejection occurs from someone you love , its not only hurt from missing them , its a double whammy because their opinion of you means so much to you . Its totally natural for the dumpee to get a whallop to their self worth, self esteem and overall being . That's on top of the hurt , anger and the " this can't be happening " zone . Kind of like the whip cream on the big slice of cake that you never even ordered . I write this to you because you are not alone , it helps to know that sometimes . Its terribly hard but you will get thru this .
Recommended Posts