asilisa Posted May 20, 2004 Share Posted May 20, 2004 So my boyfriend and I have been going out for 6 m onths, and this is how our relationship goes. Everything was perfect in the very beginning then slowly I start to see a different side to him. There will be like 2 weeks were he is all sweet and loving, then the next 2 weeks all we do is fight. And it seems like every time we fight he is always blaming it on me, now if i'm to blame i'll take it. But I don't always think its my fault. Like if him and I are sitting in silence, which I have no problem with cause I feel its a comfortable silence. He'll be like what you're not talking to me today? And I"ll be like no I never said that, but you're not talking to me either. Then he says something like, you have better conversations with my friends. Which I don't. It gets to the point where I don't want to be around him because I know it'll be a fight. He has all these problems all the time. I do everything for him yet its not enough. Lately I have been feeling like he doesn't want to be with me because of all these fights. So I confronted him like 10 times about it. And each time he acts like i'm crazy. Then one time he was like no i love you, i love being with you, there is just something wrong in my head. And I'm like all right. I've known him for along time, we've been together for 6 months and I love him. Deep down I know I shouldn't be with him. Why do I have to love someone I can't be with? I'm finding it extremely hard to break up with him. I just keep thinking that maybe things will get better, yet I know they won't. Then I'm worried he'll leave me. I don't know what to do. Any advice, comments thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
LikkleMissConfused Posted May 20, 2004 Share Posted May 20, 2004 How old are you both? If he has issues maybe he needs to be a singleton to sort himself out and maybe you need to let go.Its obviously not working. Breaking the habit is always hard at first but then you will realise that its for the best! Form reading your post its sounds as though you already know what you wanna do!?!?!? Its just up to you to do it. Link to post Share on other sites
LILUIL Posted May 20, 2004 Share Posted May 20, 2004 there's no perfect guy and ups and downs are just part of any relationship. sometimes when fights happen we say things we dont mean, we're truly sorry after that but it affects the person very much. have you thought that when he says Originally posted by asilisa you have better conversations with my friends. there could be more under that. give some, take some. when in love with someone, i know i want to try my best to find ways to make the relationship work, you feel the same? but then we also have to take a step back every now and then and analyze ourselves and see if the person we are with is what we really want, flaws and all. i like one quote : true love is loving someone because of his quirks, not in spite of them. it always starts out perfect, relationships grow as we grow.... growing closer getting to know the person on a more personally level, understanding the persons character more. we see their beauty, their strengths and weaknesses, will we continue to love them through it all. is he willing to work through these erm.... 'differences' with you, to find a way to resolve your situation in a way that both of you will be happy with? Link to post Share on other sites
Author asilisa Posted May 20, 2004 Author Share Posted May 20, 2004 Well i'm 20 and he is 24. LikkleMiss: You're right I do know what i need to do. So why is it so hard? Why can't I let go? LILUIL: Sure there is more to the whole I have better conversations with his friends. He is jealous. First its I'm to quiet and I don't talk to his friends enough. I don't have better conversations with his friends. I see his friends maybe 2x a month, I see him every day. So of course they are gonna have more to say to me. The problem is that he thinks we should talk all the time. What couple talks all the time? Then he thinks that it should be me doing all the talking. Truth be told. My boyfriend is controling. I know I'm stupid for staying with him, but I find it so hard to leave him. Every fight we have, I did something wrong. He actually tried to say something about the clothes I wear. I can't have guy friends. So many problems. And the real problem I'm having is: Why can't I just say good bye? Why is it so hard? Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
LILUIL Posted May 21, 2004 Share Posted May 21, 2004 Originally posted by asilisa Truth be told. My boyfriend is controling. I know I'm stupid for staying with him, but I find it so hard to leave him. Every fight we have, I did something wrong. He actually tried to say something about the clothes I wear. I can't have guy friends. So many problems. And the real problem I'm having is: Why can't I just say good bye? Why is it so hard? Thanks. You've answered your own question.... it's hard for you to leave him because he's controlling it. Good gosh, now it sounds like he's finding faults in you unnecessarily, literally putting you down for his own gratification. That's not right. However close in a relationship, I feel it's important that both persons maintain their individuality coz its the uniqueness that drew them to each other. It's not right for him to pick on you and try to change you like this... it's sweet that he wants you guys to communicate more, but the way he's getting the message across to you by demanding like a 4 year old? I'd say, shake yer bootie and leave him.... let him come begging if he really wants. after all when you are there, all he can do is pick faults with you and make you feel bad. after u leave, if he doesnt come back... let him go. Not worth giving the rest of your life to a grumbling, nothing is ever good enough, fella. Link to post Share on other sites
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