Why does she keep telling me about guys hitting on her? Is she interested anymore?

[Sabian]

*I kinda rambled a bit due to frustration and wanting to explain as much as possible. Sorry*

 

So I met this girl about a month ago and things started off amazingly. We hit it off better than I've ever seen two people hit it off. We literally spent 4 hours a night just sitting at the bar talking. We would go with a bunch of our friends, but her and I always ended up talking and laughing all night. After a week or so she was already spending the night every night and we both seemed incredibly happy. Hell, her friends would constantly talk about how it seems like we've been together for years since we were so much alike in our interests and personalities.

 

I never officially asked her out. We had talked about it, but she had just gotten out of a relationship that had ended because the guy hit her. I actually took her to his house to get her stuff because he wouldn't send it to her and she was too afraid to go alone. So she wasn't ready to rush into things.

 

She stopped spending the night after a couple weeks, but we were still going out a lot and still kissing a lot. Then not long after I realized that she only seemed to hang out with me when other people came with in a group. If I asked her to go with just me somewhere she would kinda ignore it or sidestep it, never saying no or yes. However, if I asked her if she wanted to go to a party with me, she'd always say yes immediately. I was worried, but figured I was reading too much into it.

 

Then one night we're out to eat with two of her friends. She was going to ride home with them, so when we were in my car (her friends had already gotten out) I said goodbye and leaned in for a goodnight kiss like we always have done.....she turned her head and made me kiss her on the cheek. She then hugged me, said goodnight, and left....I was kinda stunned, but I convinced myself it was because her friends were right outside, even though she had kissed me in front of her friends before.

 

Then my fear was validated. The next time we hung out was a few days later when I had to take her to the airport. She was going to be gone for a week so I was pretty bummed and wanted to wish her off. When we get to the airport and it's time to say goodbye. Before I get a chance to move in she says "Hug". I hug her and say goodbye, and before I can kiss her when the hug is over she takes off.......I spent the week she was gone in ****ing misery thinking she was screwing other guys down there or just generally done with me. I couldn't find a single reason why she would be, but I was very confused.

 

When I pick her up from the airport a week later, she tells stories about guys hitting on her and giving her their number. She always says she blows them off, but why the hell does she tell me this? We're not technically "together" , but at one point she had told me that she wasn't looking at other guys at all because she liked me so much, but wasn't ready to get in to a relationship. So why all of a sudden is she talking about guys hitting on her? When we get back to her place she again sidesteps my kiss and only hugs me. She acts like it's nothing either, like we had always only hugged.

 

That was a bout a week ago and I haven't kissed her since. I'm very confused because she still texts and talked to me a lot as well as going out. It's still usually us and some friends, but we always drive just me and her and she has continued to tell me about guys approaching her. Sometimes it's the first thing she says when I see her. Here is an actual conversation that occurred when I met her and her friend at a bar one night.

 

Me: "Hey babe how are you."

 

Her: "OMG look at this receipt. The waiter gave me his number on the back. He was really creepy."

 

Me: "Oh yeah? Here, let me throw it away."

 

Her: " OK haha. You sure you don't want to call him"

 

Me: "Haha very funny.....was he hot?"

 

Her: *Laughs*

 

 

Not hi at all. No kiss, no hug, just a story about how some guy hit on her....

 

I'm pretty worried. At one point I thought that this girl was the one. If there really is someone for everyone, she was my someone. So now I don't know what to think or do.

 

How do we go from having sex every night, going out every night, and not being able to keep our hands off each other when we're out at clubs, to the only physical contact at all being a goodnight hug....and WHY THE HELL DOES SHE KEEP TELLING ME ABOUT OTHER GUYS HITTING ON HER? Sorry for the caps, but that's the really annoying part.

 

If she's trying to make me jealous, what is she hoping will happen? We're not in a relationship, so I technically couldn't stop her from going out with another guy, but as far as I know she isn't....and believe me I've paid very close attention to make sure she isn't. Does she want me to just take control and romance her into a relationship?

 

It's not like I'm not paying attention to her. I give her stuff all the time. Not just crappy basic stuff, real well thought out stuff that I know means a lot to her. I gave her and her entire family first row tickets to their favorite football team's game. I gave her young niece some Hannah Montana toys that she had been wanting.

 

I even went to the trouble of going down the the local newspaper and scouring through records to find an article that had a story and picture of her now deceased mother in it. I framed it and gave it to her. Her mother had died just after she had graduated high school, and she always talks about how she misses her, so I figured this would be something good to give her. She started crying when she saw it and gave me a huge hug, said it was the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for her....but didn't kiss me then, and still hasn't.

 

So what do I do girls? Why is she doing this? I'm willing to be her "friend" for a freaking decade if that's what it takes to get her, but I'm starting to fear she's losing interest in me......but if that's the case why does it seem like she's trying to make me jealous with all these guy stories? I might be in love with her, and if I'm not, I would be pretty quickly if we actually made it official. I've had girls give me their numbers since I met her, but not only do I just throw them away, I don't tell her about them because she wouldn't like it.

 

She's extremely attractive and has really vibrant red hair (Dyed) so she's always going to get guys attention. When I'm around I make it clear that she's with me and she never seems to mind.....so what the hell is going on? I need this girl and I know that no one could make her happier than me.....what do I do?

 

 

Sorry for the long thread. Just kinda frustrated......

[xoxoDaniellexoxo]

Ok I have a question how old is she?

 

As for why she is doing this really it may be she is immature and still thinks that the old 'guys want a hot commadity' is true. Sad but girls still think that way in some cases which I really don't get. Another reason is she may want to feel wanted again after her last relationship. Given my friends ex didn't hit her but was an overall douche, and when they broke up she wanted to 'prove' to the guy who liked her that she was wanted. It may be her trying to feel sexy or desired again but it is still messed up.

 

I'm sorry if that isn't really that helpful but I honestly don't know why she would do that. I have never once told a guy I was seeing someone hit on me, it's not something that is need to know especially if you turn them down.

 

All the best!

Danielle

[xoxoDaniellexoxo]

Quick question how old is she?

 

As for why she may just be immature and following the old 'guys want a hot commadity' tip, which is dumb! Sad but she may think that telling you this makes you want her more, which we know dosn't work. Given my friends ex didn't hit her but he was an overall douche and verbally abusive, so when they broke up she flirted and told the guy she was seeing when guys hit on her because it made her feel desired again. I know it is dumb and she may be trying to prove to herself that she is wanted.

 

I'm sorry if that isn't all that helpful but I don't understand why people do that. I have never once told a guy I was seeing if a guy hit on me cause it isn't need to know when I turn them down. Obviously if it crosses the line and the guy is being to touchy I will say something because that is crossing a line for me.

 

All the best,

Danielle

[skelterhelter]

I agree with Danielle. Some girls just want the attention and to feel desired. And by telling YOU, the guy she's dating, that these guys are hitting on her, she's simultaneously feeling out how jealous and/or upset you'd get over this, which feeds into the idea she's desirable. Yes, messed up... but still how some people think. I've done it myself, so I can't judge

[xoxoDaniellexoxo]

I agree with Danielle. Some girls just want the attention and to feel desired. And by telling YOU, the guy she's dating, that these guys are hitting on her, she's simultaneously feeling out how jealous and/or upset you'd get over this, which feeds into the idea she's desirable. Yes, messed up... but still how some people think. I've done it myself, so I can't judge

Whoops double post!! My b!!!

[Sabian]

Ok I have a question how old is she?

 

As for why she is doing this really it may be she is immature and still thinks that the old 'guys want a hot commadity' is true. Sad but girls still think that way in some cases which I really don't get. Another reason is she may want to feel wanted again after her last relationship. Given my friends ex didn't hit her but was an overall douche, and when they broke up she wanted to 'prove' to the guy who liked her that she was wanted. It may be her trying to feel sexy or desired again but it is still messed up.

 

I'm sorry if that isn't really that helpful but I honestly don't know why she would do that. I have never once told a guy I was seeing someone hit on me, it's not something that is need to know especially if you turn them down.

 

All the best!

Danielle

 

Lol her name is Danielle too...that's pretty ironic.

 

Anyway, she is 22 and I'm 24.

 

I really don't think she's even close to immature. Part of the reason I liked her was because she was so mature and a very strong person. She's had to deal with some pretty tough things in her life and I think she matured quicker because of them.

 

Tonight I was at a different bar than her, mostly because she didn't ask me to go with her and her friends and I didn't want to invite myself. She sent me a couple "Are you having fun?" texts and asking what is going on. I had invited her to come out with me, but she didn't want to, so I don't know why she kept asking what I'm doing....

 

I think I might be meeting her at a party later tonight and I might just take her outside and try and talk about where we're at. Let her know that I want her.

 

 

Thanks

[phineas]

I had a 39yr old doing the same thing.

She also had self esteem issues & was very insecure.

 

She spent her life trying to turn badboys into husbands and we all know how that works out.

 

She had a lot of guy friends also.

 

 

I got tired of her constantly telling me about attractive guys who hit on her then turn around & put me to the question concerning where I was & who I was with when I had gone out the night before.

 

Oh and then she would also finish up with the "deal breaker" on why she would never date said guy who was hitting on her.

 

It also smacked of manipulation on her part.

 

I wound up just moving on because I didn't want to deal with it.