leoc1973 Posted October 30, 2011 Posted October 30, 2011 Ok I am going to sum it up. Ex girlfriend broke up with me 5 months ago. I never reached out to her she always reached out to me. About once a month. Last time she did she asked about me dating I told her I had met someone. All of the sudden she would text email and call about every 2 days. If I ever contacted her she would wait 2 days every time she answered me. She was doing a lot of really strange things like sending me links for websites telling me that she thought I would like is. She wrote a bunch of stupid funny poems and sent them to me. Just lots of things seeming to show a lot of interest in me. She lives about 3 hours away. She moved for a job which started our breakup. Few weeks ago she asked when she could see me again. I said when you come home so she said ok great. Well this weekend she comes home. With her new boyfriend whom she says annoys her but he is really rich so he takes her nice places. I found out through a cousin who saw her out at a bar. A bar that I usually frequent. I made it a point not to call her. She ended up sending me a text asking me why I didn't pay her storage which it definitely paid. She said she got a statement saying I owed 2 months which I don't. I am thinking it was a way to break the ice. Well I played a little hard to get I told her I would take care of it on monday when they are open and then stopped texting her. Then she texts me a little while after asking me if I could take her to her sisters. I say ok. Ok during our ride which is like a half hour I finally just can't take it anymore and ask her why she is screwing with me. I asked her if she wanted me back. I also asked her why she brought a guy to the only bar which I go. There are literally hundreds of bars in my city. I told her I have been going out of my way to not read into anything but her signs have been way too strong. I asked her if she would go on a date with me and she said you don't understand I have a boyfriend. I said didn't you just told me like 2 weeks ago that this guy annoyed you. She said he is a great guy and they have so much fun together but he is trying to force her into a relationship. She said he is mr right now and in the end she is gonna end up crushing this guy. She is the one who has always called me the soulmate love of her life all that other stuff but she just won't give me a second chance. She says she thinks of me every day and loves me so much but the bad things are just too much. By the way the bad things are just that I don't make enough money and I am ok with that. I have a good job and its enough money for a house car and its a good living but I am not ambitious enough to make a million dollars a year. I am also taking classes to better myself. I did do it for her I will admit I just don't know how she could take the chance of letting the love of her life get away. (her words) Is she keeping me hanging? Why? And if I can get a womans point of view how can a girl not want you till you start seeing someone new then all of the sudden it seems like they come around? What goes on in a females head when you hear about your ex with another girl? And for gods sake someone tell me how to get through to her. How do I get her to choose love over money. Also about a month ago I though I was over her now all the feelings are back! Ugh!!
Rorschach64 Posted October 30, 2011 Posted October 30, 2011 5 months broken up and NC. Still feels crappy man I was told pretty much the same stuff by my ex fiancee, proclaiming I am the only person that has treated her so well and her friends would say they never saw my ex f so happy. It mattered so little in the end. Worst part is no matter how much you try to reason with your ex or my ex it won't do a lick of good, in my case she just coming up with weird and random excuses why not to get back together. Our ex's have to realize their mistakes on their own and decide to come back on their own. At least you have LS to help you through this Best of luck, we both need it!
KathyM Posted October 30, 2011 Posted October 30, 2011 I think women tend to be possessive and jealous when it comes to other women being interested in an X. I know my sister was like that with her X. She had broken up with him when they were dating because of various red flags that made the relationship not doable, but sure enough, as soon as she found out some other woman was interested in him, she took him back and then married him (her 2nd husband). She couldn't stand the idea of someone else with him when she still had feelings for him. She was OK with him being alone, but as soon as some other woman came into the picture, she just had to have him back. Brings out the jealousy and possessiveness in women.
geegirl Posted October 30, 2011 Posted October 30, 2011 I'm sorry I am going off track here a little but you are paying for her storage fees? This woman chooses money over love. You drive yourself to work harder (not for you) but for her so you can feed her shallow pit. She breaks up with you and finds a rich man whom she has no interest in because she wants money. You're sitting there paying for your ex's storage fees. You reek of desperation. Grow a backbone. You want a woman's point of view? It's the most unattractive thing to do to let a woman walk all over you. You yourself asked the question, when will she choose love over money? She won't. Most likely she does not love you but comes back only because she has a man that caters to her and feeds her ego. You feed her ego and her boyfriend feeds her money grubbing ways. This type of woman will never be a responsible adult nor will she ever be able to prioritize what matters in life. She will always find a man to pay her way. Her boyfriend should be taking care of her and paying her storage fees. You should be washing your hands off her and paying sole attention and focus on yourself.
Author leoc1973 Posted October 30, 2011 Author Posted October 30, 2011 Geegirl, I should have explained. She got me a cell phone family plan with her for christmas. When we broke up the phone was still almost new and still in a contract so she told me she would continue to pay the cell phone if I paid the storage. I might love her but I am not one of those dumb guys that still gives her money. I never begged her never cried to her. I actually told her that I don't want her out of pity I want her out of love and I would rather see her happy with someone else than stay with me out of any kind of obligation or guilt. I always go no contact and leave her alone I never initiate contact. I actually got to the point where I can cope. I just found out about the boyfriend. Up till now she told me she was still too in love with me to even think about dating and the thought of being with someone who wasn't me made her sick. I guess this guy just came into the picture and is trying to woo her. I guess I am just trying to figure out why she is playing games when she clearly doesn't want me. I mean what could the purpose possibly be. Other than like the previous poster said about being jealous and not wanting me unless someone else does. Oh and I did make the mistake of telling her that I broke up with the other girl lol now I guess she doesn't feel like she is losing me again. Really your saying that your sister didn't want anything to do with this guy till he found someone else then she married him. Thats crazy! Thank you all for the advice, I really have been doing my best to move on I just don't know how I let her make me get all the feelings back again.
wilsonx Posted October 30, 2011 Posted October 30, 2011 Look, someone that loves you would not just leave you and have someone that magically just appeared in the picture 5 months later. It doesnt work like that. Shes gaslighting you because you enable her to. Fix whatever you have to do to cut all your strings from her and let it go. 5 months later, all strings should be cut by now
Author leoc1973 Posted October 31, 2011 Author Posted October 31, 2011 Wow wilson that gaslighting is something I never heard of. I especially related to the clinical examples. Yes 5 months later all ties were cut with the exception of the cell phone. I have gone a month and two, two month periods without so much as talking to her. I was getting very over her and even dated some really nice girls one I would have stayed dating if her ex husband didn't threaten to kill himself is she didn't give him another chance. Why are women so effed up? ugh! I have never played games with anyone if I like someone I like them if I don't I don't. I have never led anyone on or kept anyone hanging I don't understand that whole feeding your ego crap. Its ****ty! But yes if that gaslighting is something real then she has gaslighted the **** out of me. lol I don't know how I got sucked back in when I was doing so well. How bout you wilson hows things going with your ex? You don't ever talk to her do you?
wilsonx Posted October 31, 2011 Posted October 31, 2011 (edited) http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t304158/ Its alright, i texted broke NC bad moment but you just look forward, as long as we are learning and still moving forward then all is good if you can't tell from that thread, i had the crazy of the crazy. My roommates ex fed him a breadcrumb via email about her moving and as soon as he responded she blew him up with texts that he ignored. Its just dumb and immature and just got to move on Edited October 31, 2011 by wilsonx
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