Mme. Chaucer Posted October 30, 2011 Posted October 30, 2011 Instead of carrying on a very unlikely sounding extramarital affair (you've gotta stop with the "proverbial cup of sugar"!), you might try your hand at adding to the pool of fine literature at http://www.harlequin.com/articlepage.html?articleId=538&chapter=0
Mme. Chaucer Posted October 30, 2011 Posted October 30, 2011 you seem to feel that you are somehow "powerless" to stop the affair with this guy. why? why are you powerless? Um … because the love they share is bigger than the both of them? I think that's the standard answer.
Lucky_One Posted October 31, 2011 Posted October 31, 2011 And you had no fear that she would have walked into "his" living room under "their" roof and kicked your a$$?
norajane Posted October 31, 2011 Posted October 31, 2011 And at Frozensprouts, powerless no. Foolish, weak, easily led, I am guilty of these and more. I care about him, I want him, I enjoy his company and his conversation, the sex is perfect, we share a sense of humour, we look good together, feel good together on a physical level and connect with each other on mental and emotional levels, I miss his voice, his face, I miss him. If it wasn't all so damned wrong it would feel so right. If it wasn't all so damned wrong, it would feel completely different. It's a constant struggle, so far I'm winning, I hope and pray that I continue to do so. I just wish it wasn't so hard to not want what I want, if that translates at all.It's seductive, isn't it? Tough to let go of. Perfection, all in one man. With the built-in limitation of a wife and a marriage. Unless you really want your relationship with this man, or any man, to be limited by his marriage, keep struggling to stay away from this. Struggle hard and make sure you win.
2sunny Posted October 31, 2011 Posted October 31, 2011 stay completely away- unless he gets to a point where his divorce is FINAL! he groomed you. you felt sorry for this poor man. you comforted him - as he planned - and he got what seems good for him. now you are left wondering - there's nothing good about your position. IF he ever divorces - then and ONLY then - consider talking to him again. unless you want more pain in your life... it is painful.
2sunny Posted October 31, 2011 Posted October 31, 2011 a married man who has sex with his OW in HIS OWN HOME shows much bigger problems emotionally - that he would choose to do you in his own marital home is a bit frightening - really! i'm concerned for you.
Mme. Chaucer Posted October 31, 2011 Posted October 31, 2011 your opinion on what his moves should be with regards to care for his child considering the violence is one I share and have voiced repeatedly through our friendship, and several times since the friendship began to develop. It is something I believe he is working towards, though I have no confirmation of this. What does this even mean? I'm still hung up on how you "discovered" all of this through "his conversation with a co-worker" Through his conversation with hs co-worker, I discovered much about his relationship with his wife, including her insistence on having a child very early on (they married far too young), and that once their son was born, any physical contact became extremely infrequent, excepting her violence towards him. Really? "You" went over to borrow a "proverbial cup of sugar" (??? I advise the bagging of the lame cliche) and overheard this conversation where he divulged all of this to a co-worker? And he just started working there? Who does that? As an editor, I suggest just deleting this part from your narrative. It does nothing to develop either of the characters, and has nothing to do with the plot line of your story. Also, it undermines completely any veracity your characters might have had. Why does this overheard conversation relate to sudden daily contact and sex? He's still a married guy who works down the street. The facts that he doesn't care about his kid, has no sex with his wife, is a domestic abuse victim and got married too young don't make him seem more attractive to your readers. Why does this make him more attractive to "you"? The details don't draw anybody in to the "psyche" of your main character. Also, as I have said several times before, if you want to use the first person narrator in your various stories, you'll need to really work on developing different voices and improve your writing skills generally. You always sound exactly the same.
Author His Sweet One Posted October 31, 2011 Author Posted October 31, 2011 Mme. Chaucer, firstly may I suggest that as an editor, you should perhaps consider learning to proof your own work before criticising that of others. You apparently can't get through even this simple sentence without at least two juvenile errors: 'The facts that he doesn't care about his kid, has no sex with his wife, is a domestic abuse victim and got married too young don't make him seem more attractive to your readers.' Perhaps then, it may be time to reconsider your vocation? Unfortunately, I am a genuine poster and not a writer of any kind. Your overuse of sarcasm is tedious, your attitude to someone who came here for advice is appalling. May I suggest, in addition to reconsidering your vocation, that you p*ss off. Everyone else, thank you for your advice and opinions.
2sunny Posted October 31, 2011 Posted October 31, 2011 he may have "learned" to live with abuse as a child - and "chose" this in his wife because it is what he is familiar AND comfortable with in his daily life. you can't change that for him - it will always be his comfort zone... and you can't make him leave his comfort zone. most stay because it's the only way they know. it's his family of origin - do some research - it would take a ton of change for him to choose a healthy woman...
Mme. Chaucer Posted October 31, 2011 Posted October 31, 2011 You apparently can't get through even this simple sentence without at least two juvenile errors: 'The facts that he doesn't care about his kid, has no sex with his wife, is a domestic abuse victim and got married too young don't make him seem more attractive to your readers.' Um … there are no grammatical errors in that sentence, juvenile or otherwise. Anyway, cool story, bro.
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