talonx Posted October 29, 2011 Posted October 29, 2011 My guy broke up with me over a year ago. We have had a lot of volitility since then which in the last month has finally been calming down. We both agree we love each other. He would like to begin interacting CALMLY again and says in order for us to rebuild and feel certainty to recover, these things have to be left in the past. I understand that the past has to be let go, but he doesn't want to talk about what has happened. He says he already understands his mistakes, he understands why I reacted negatively. He says he doesn't want to talk because he is afraid the discussion will end up in more volitility. I agree no one should talk if we can't talk calmly. From my side, while I agree the past needs to be the past, I am wondering if it *should* be discussed. Should I just let the past go without further discussion? My own point in wanting to discuss is that I want him to understand and HEAR me. I guess a big part of me feels very strongly that while he says he already understands my side of things, he also says he has not recovered from the past year. So I think that us discussing it would help. I guess what I feel is BLAMED for the problems and I want to explain myself so he doesn't hold it against me. He says he doesn't, but I think he does. I don't actually know if I should start trying to just jump in like it is a totally new relationship and let all the old stuff go, or back away until he is willing to discuss what happened.
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