i'mfaraway Posted October 29, 2011 Posted October 29, 2011 I met some guy online and our contact has been patchy. I don't think I would hear from him again when he asked me out on late Wednesday for Sunday. It's a little late notice but I agreed to it since I thought why play games? By now we haven't agreed on the venue and time. You would think someone who realized it was late notice would put in more effort to check in. I have no way of asking except for on the dating website since we didn't exchange numbers. Is this bad? Should I not bother anymore?
Symetrical-Siren Posted October 29, 2011 Posted October 29, 2011 Lately I've been attracting men that either have their own businesses, or they run projects on the side for extra money. Some even do volunteer stuff too. It could have just been bad timing. Of course, if you JUST met, realistically the dude's not going to put you as top priority. I've noticed recently that a LOT of people are over booking themselves. WORK HARD / PLAY HARD is the motto of a LOT of people. Some people are just good at scheduling, and others.....not so much. Some guys like the lady to let them know what you want to do. So I would ask about that. I had an ex that used to get annoyed that he would always do the planning. And I've dated too many guys that say, as soon as they pick you up: "So where do you wanna go ? What movie you wanna see ? What are you in the mood to eat ?" He may be looking for you to give the date some direction. Just a thought.
oaks Posted October 29, 2011 Posted October 29, 2011 I met some guy online and our contact has been patchy. I don't think I would hear from him again when he asked me out on late Wednesday for Sunday. It's a little late notice but I agreed to it since I thought why play games? By now we haven't agreed on the venue and time. You would think someone who realized it was late notice would put in more effort to check in. I have no way of asking except for on the dating website since we didn't exchange numbers. Is this bad? Should I not bother anymore? Asking on Wednesday for a date on Sunday doesn't sound late, and you're free and you want to see him, so don't make an issue of it! Also, if you want to keep in touch then why not exchange numbers... send him a short message like "Looking forward to seeing you tomorrow. Where are we meeting? My number is 123456. x" but, yes, it's a little concerning that he hasn't suggested a specific time/venue.
Author i'mfaraway Posted October 30, 2011 Author Posted October 30, 2011 Lately I've been attracting men that either have their own businesses, or they run projects on the side for extra money. Some even do volunteer stuff too. It could have just been bad timing. Of course, if you JUST met, realistically the dude's not going to put you as top priority. I've noticed recently that a LOT of people are over booking themselves. WORK HARD / PLAY HARD is the motto of a LOT of people. Some people are just good at scheduling, and others.....not so much. Some guys like the lady to let them know what you want to do. So I would ask about that. I had an ex that used to get annoyed that he would always do the planning. And I've dated too many guys that say, as soon as they pick you up: "So where do you wanna go ? What movie you wanna see ? What are you in the mood to eat ?" He may be looking for you to give the date some direction. Just a thought. I get what you're saying. But he just sounds lame. He stopped replying to my messages and then out of the blue asked me out. Now he's unreachable. It's just a lot of back and forth. He wants to move the time, this and that. I know I have a tendency of writing people off so I wanted to give this a shot (at least even just to get this over and done) and came to ask for opinions. Asking on Wednesday for a date on Sunday doesn't sound late, and you're free and you want to see him, so don't make an issue of it! Also, if you want to keep in touch then why not exchange numbers... send him a short message like "Looking forward to seeing you tomorrow. Where are we meeting? My number is 123456. x" but, yes, it's a little concerning that he hasn't suggested a specific time/venue. I'm not sure if I was being sensitive but he seems a different person before and after he "disappeared." His lack of a suggestion of a specific time and venue to me indicates low interest. Anyway, I've sent him a message to the dating website and given him my number.
Symetrical-Siren Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 then don't bother. I've been in love with a man like that for years. I know and understand his situation though. Depending on what it is, some circumstances cannot be helped. If you're not in love, his "busy-ness" could cause you to resent him, if you do decide to try and stick it out. Just keep that in mind. Resentment is one of the biggest things that can poison a relationship from the roots up.
Author i'mfaraway Posted November 10, 2011 Author Posted November 10, 2011 then don't bother. I've been in love with a man like that for years. I know and understand his situation though. Depending on what it is, some circumstances cannot be helped. If you're not in love, his "busy-ness" could cause you to resent him, if you do decide to try and stick it out. Just keep that in mind. Resentment is one of the biggest things that can poison a relationship from the roots up. We met afterall. Now I understand it was for genuine reasons. He works almost round the clock and travels all the time. He's tried to make it work by suggesting we chat on the phone while he's away. But it's yet to happen. I'm losing interest even though I think he's a good person. There's no difference between dating him and dating no one.
Symetrical-Siren Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 but understandable. It's hard for overly busy people to have any kind of significant relationship, unless they were already in one before they became "occupied", or unless they hook up with someone else that is just as strapped for time as well. I have a close friend that is in an unhappy marriage, because his lady is "married" to her career. They've been together for 10 + years, he has no intentions of leaving her (they have 4 kids together). However, the fact remains, he doesn't get enough time with her because of her government job.
Author i'mfaraway Posted November 15, 2011 Author Posted November 15, 2011 but understandable. It's hard for overly busy people to have any kind of significant relationship, unless they were already in one before they became "occupied", or unless they hook up with someone else that is just as strapped for time as well. I have a close friend that is in an unhappy marriage, because his lady is "married" to her career. They've been together for 10 + years, he has no intentions of leaving her (they have 4 kids together). However, the fact remains, he doesn't get enough time with her because of her government job. Still haven't heard from him. By now it's probably not going to happen. I'm willing to work through it and see where it goes. But it can't go anywhere without any form of contact.
Recommended Posts