trueluV Posted October 29, 2011 Posted October 29, 2011 i'm so sad now...so sad and shocked. i got played by a guy who i thought was interested in me. there were red flags that from day one he wanted a relationship with him, and kept telling me he likes me. the thing is, he initiated 99% and we met 2-3 times a week, and spent almost the entire weekend together. on third date we kissed, but we didn't go further, but he did keep asking to be in relationship with him, and i said i don't know yet, so i thought he slowed down for me and we didn't have anything physical after the kiss, even though we went on more dates. the thing is last night i went to his place and cooked for him and the "talk" came up. he said he just wants to have dinner and talk to me, like a friend. what???? then what was that all about? he has long work hours, so we would meet really late at night, so i thought he wanted to see me, and especially i didn't sleep over or anything, nothing physical i didn't think he was using me. he said everything he told me on the first few dates was not true, and just was testing me to see if i would sleep with him, and hence i didn't he didn't think i was an easy girl. but then, why would he still keep meeting me?? he said he doesn't even "like" me. anyway, this is getting really long, so i should stop writing, but i was really played, big time. so sad and shocked, i can't even cry.
Author trueluV Posted October 29, 2011 Author Posted October 29, 2011 i have to add, i started to develop genuine feelings for this guy. he's such a smooth talker, and his actions didn't show he was a player, so that's why i got totally played. now he tells me he doesn't even "like" me, he needs a few months to figure it out, but foolish me, i'm totally hooked on him. it's all so sad i started to really like him, but there was actually nothing.
Eliana Posted October 29, 2011 Posted October 29, 2011 (edited) You shouldn't be sad, you did very well in the situation. He was the one who didn't get what he wanted. And... do you really want to be "liked" by guys like him, who are only looking for a f***? Why would you care about the opinion of someone like that? Was he specially inteligent for you to actually consider what he thinks? Run away from him like the plague. He sounds creepy. Edited October 29, 2011 by Eliana
AmEricanWomann Posted October 29, 2011 Posted October 29, 2011 It actually sounds like sour grapes to me. I think he did like you, but when you rejected his advances to be in a relationship and friend zoned him, his ego got hurt so he turned around and said "well, I was just testing you" and "I didn't even like you anyway". Now he's the one in the relationship with the power and you're the one who feels like you were friend zoned, which is exactly what he wanted. You didn't sleep with him or give up your dignity in anyway, so you weren't played.
Fondue Posted October 29, 2011 Posted October 29, 2011 It actually sounds like sour grapes to me. I think he did like you, but when you rejected his advances to be in a relationship and friend zoned him, his ego got hurt so he turned around and said "well, I was just testing you" and "I didn't even like you anyway". Now he's the one in the relationship with the power and you're the one who feels like you were friend zoned, which is exactly what he wanted. You didn't sleep with him or give up your dignity in anyway, so you weren't played. 100% agree with this. When I read her post, this is exactly what I thought.
lionashtray Posted October 29, 2011 Posted October 29, 2011 I agree with AmErican Womann - he does like you it's just he thinks you don't like him but he has showed himself to be childish and over sensitive. You could play it your way now. Agree to friendship but make him think his attitude has made him lose out on anything more with you. Maybe all other women have jumped into bed with him quickly in the past. He's just not used to someone with a few more morals! Continue to meet as friends, mention how it's a shame he doesn't want more but that you're over it now anyway and that friends is what you see each other as now and he'll wonder what he might be missing out on in the future. Silly boy - shot himself in the foot there!
Emilia Posted October 29, 2011 Posted October 29, 2011 He is one of those passive aggressive types, sour grapes indeed. No, you weren't played because you didn't sleep with him. He is just an idiot calling you over to insult you, it may have been 'neg hits' on his part, thinking he could pressurise you into sleeping with him by making you feel bad about yourself. He is an *******
Emilia Posted October 29, 2011 Posted October 29, 2011 I agree with AmErican Womann - he does like you it's just he thinks you don't like him but he has showed himself to be childish and over sensitive. You could play it your way now. Agree to friendship but make him think his attitude has made him lose out on anything more with you. Maybe all other women have jumped into bed with him quickly in the past. He's just not used to someone with a few more morals! Continue to meet as friends, mention how it's a shame he doesn't want more but that you're over it now anyway and that friends is what you see each other as now and he'll wonder what he might be missing out on in the future. Silly boy - shot himself in the foot there! No I think you should drop him completely OP, a person like that doesn't deserve anyone's friendship. Count your lucky stars and move on
NXS Posted October 29, 2011 Posted October 29, 2011 No you didn't get played. One kiss after numerous dates?? Sounds like you were doing the playing.
Author trueluV Posted October 29, 2011 Author Posted October 29, 2011 thank you so much for your kind and encouraging words. I even feel a bit better by reading your posts. i said i got played or fooled by him, because i wasn't sure about my feelings when i started seeing him, but at one point i got totally hooked on him. now it looks like he doesn't like me and i'm the one crazy about him. but it's so sad and shocking to me, because on the weekends we would literally spend the whole day together (without any bedroom activities), and he wanted to meet my friends and came along with me, and also, there was really no alcohol involved to keep the conversation going. i thought he might be a player when i first met him, because he was such a smooth talker, but after spending so much time with him, i though how could one possibly have a mask that long, and started to trust him and sincerely enjoy his company. last night, just when i thought we were going to the next step, i cooked for him, and he tells me "we are friends". he said we can keep meeting as friends ' have dinner and conversation.' what??? so i said "i don't want to be a person who you just want to kill time with. i'm leaving now." and he said 'so i don't think you want to see me anymore', i said "good bye". it was late, and very cold outside, i wanted to burst into tears, but too shocked to even cry... got home and he appeared in my dreams, foolish me
Author trueluV Posted October 29, 2011 Author Posted October 29, 2011 No you didn't get played. One kiss after numerous dates?? Sounds like you were doing the playing. i was playing because all i did was a kiss with him? not true. actually my feelings to him started to develop after that one kiss, and when i saw him next time, i wanted to kiss him. but he didn't. he didn't even take me to his place after that one kiss. so, if he wanted more, i could've gone with the flow with him, because at that point i liked him, but he's the one who would stop. even we would walk past his house, and he wouldn't invite me in. maybe after all he wanted to be friends with me?? but then why he wanted to see me almost every single day, after a long day at work??? anyway, this is the reality now. i'm still so sad i can't believe i'm so hooked on him.
NXS Posted October 29, 2011 Posted October 29, 2011 i was playing because all i did was a kiss with him? not true. actually my feelings to him started to develop after that one kiss, and when i saw him next time, i wanted to kiss him. but he didn't. he didn't even take me to his place after that one kiss. so, if he wanted more, i could've gone with the flow with him, because at that point i liked him, but he's the one who would stop. even we would walk past his house, and he wouldn't invite me in. maybe after all he wanted to be friends with me?? but then why he wanted to see me almost every single day, after a long day at work??? anyway, this is the reality now. i'm still so sad i can't believe i'm so hooked on him. Your posts make no sense at all, you seem to be accussing him of being a player yet he went out on numerous dates with you and just got one kiss. If he was a player he would've dumped you after the first or second date. Now you're saying he played you by just wanting to be friends even though he told you he wanted a relationship from the start. You told him you wanted to take it slowly and now your saying he didn't invite you back to his house to go further?? I suspect he just got tired of your indecision and his feelings changed.
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