ALittleBuzzyBee Posted October 29, 2011 Posted October 29, 2011 At the moment I am possibly at the lowest I have ever been in my life... I broke up with my ex two and a half months ago. I had been with him for six months and these were the best six months of my life. I was in love with him completely and I couldn't picture my future without him in it. Then it just stopped. I went up to visit him during the summer (we are at uni together) and for the first two weeks I was in heaven, but suddenly, literally in the space of about twenty minutes, I just didn't love him anymore (or at least I thought I wasn't). I don't know what caused this- maybe after two weeks of sitting in his room doing nothing I got sick of him? After another two weeks I went home and the feelings had got worse. Then, after another two weeks, I broke up with him (cue me bursting into tears as typed that). I am scared that I mistook being a bit bored of his company with not being in love with him. I feel like in every relationship I pressure myself too much to actually be in love with them, rather than having a lovely time. I think I might still be in love with him. Anyway, here is the situation now. We live together at uni with four other people. This can't be changed and there is nothing I can do about it. He says he has feelings for me but he needs time to think about what he wants, because he hadn't been single for about four years and he wanted some time to himself. Yet despite this, he sleeps in my bed every night (not always sexually, that happens occasionally) messages me most of the day and we spend lots of time together. We basically live like we are in a relationship. The last two weeks have been getting better, but before I was crying every night, terrified every time he went out in case he found another girl (this is still the case- what makes this worse is that he finds it easier getting along with girls than boys). He won't give me an answer, he just keeps saying "I don't know" even though he says he has feelings for me. He has also been talking to his ex again.I'm pretty much heartbroken all of the time, worried, in physical pain (I haven't been able to keep food down or even have an appetite), and I can't think of anything other than him. I haven't been to uni in two weeks because I can't concentrate on anything else and I feel like nothing is worth it without him. At one point it got to the stage where I was harming myself and suicidal. My friends have given me all the advice they can- hang out with your friends, ignore him, don't spend time with him- but none of it works. I am completely miserable when I'm not with him and when I'm out with my friends all I can think about is when I can go home to him. I know I am being pathetic but I really just need some help. I'm so tired of feeling like this and being unable to either be back with him or move on. At the moment it feels like I can't really go on living like this.
perfectlyflawed459 Posted October 29, 2011 Posted October 29, 2011 I know it is hard, but give him as much space as you can. Maybe sleep in separate rooms and such. He said he needs time for himself and to think, so allow him to have that time. In the meantime, try your very best to keep a positive mind and keep yourself together. I know it is really hard, but it is really the best thing you can do for yourself. After you have given it some time, maybe he will be in a place where you can talk things out with him and express how you feel. Tell him you want to start over and that you didn't mean to take him for granted and such ya know? But for right now, just distance yourself and respect his wishes for wanting some time to himself.
Author ALittleBuzzyBee Posted October 29, 2011 Author Posted October 29, 2011 Thank you so much its just very confusing because he's the one that comes into my room rather than me asking him, so its really confusing when he says he wants time to himself. He'll come and ask to watch a TV show with me or ask me to go to the shop with him. Its a bit embarrassing as well because I'm usually quite a strong person in these situations but this time I'm just a wreck
Recommended Posts