person123 Posted October 29, 2011 Posted October 29, 2011 I don't think I'm very good at flirting. What can I do/say in a conversation with a girl to make myself seem interesting and to make her interested? I know that you are supposed to get to know her better and to describe yourself too in a conversation, but how do I make that conversation funny and entertaining enough to make her interested? What kind of things can I say and how do I say these things? The most recent memory I have is of a few months ago when I had lunch with a girl I was interested in at that time, but not as a date. Afterwards, I was no longer attracted to the girl, but I nevertheless felt that even if I was, I did not present myself in a favorable and interesting enough way during that lunch for her to agree to a date if I did ask her out. This is all my own guess here, and maybe I'm viewing myself in a negative light (although I did ask her out to this semiformal a few weeks later, at which point I did not really know her that well yet, and to which she responded with a no). So can anyone give me some tips and advice?
Cee Posted October 29, 2011 Posted October 29, 2011 Do what is natural to you. If you like to tell stories, then tell stories (but keep them short). If you like to insert random facts into conversation, do that. When you are with your friends, what do you say that makes them laugh and stay interested. It is pretty much the same except with more eye contact, incidental touching, and flirting. You can try to mimic people you think have social skill. When I was young and socially awkward, I learned to be social by being a mimic. And then when I was more self-assured, I developed my unique social style. Remember listening and "getting" the other person is a huge part of the battle. If she says something, build on it. And then there is a back and forth. Just some ideas to get you started.
Eliana Posted October 29, 2011 Posted October 29, 2011 I think the key point is to date a girl you actually have stuff in common with, that way conversation just flows and you don't have to put any effort in it. Remember you should feel as entertained as she is by you, otherwise it's a lost battle. Imagine having to find and learn topics I don't care about to be able to talk to someone... nightmare!! (although I've learned a lot about politics trying to impress one guy )
Author person123 Posted October 30, 2011 Author Posted October 30, 2011 Maybe it's just me, but talking to girls that you don't have an interest in seems easier to get the conversation flowing. Also, I don't think I'm a very good conversationalist. It's hard for me to say the right things that will keep a conversation going. I guess part of that is because I don't have enough of my own experiences and opinions.
phineas Posted October 30, 2011 Posted October 30, 2011 From my observations women that need to be constantly entertained also have a history of dating the player types that dump them after they have tired of putting on their show & need a new target. I tend to stay away from women like this because I hate having to carry both sides of a conversation. If there isn't mutual interest what's the point?
Author person123 Posted November 14, 2011 Author Posted November 14, 2011 What if I behave differently around girls I like? For example, the way I act normally around friends/girls I'm not attracted to would be enough to entertain them, but when I'm around girls I like I tend to act differently, and then it becomes hard to keep them interested, or show what I am really like. I don't mean entertain in the way that you have to keep a gold digger (or any shallow type of girl) entertained. What I mean is just have them laughing and engage in normal conversation.
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