phineas Posted October 30, 2011 Posted October 30, 2011 He isn't separated unless he is living on his own. I've met women that were "separated" and still living with their "ex-husband". Yeah, um no thank you. My ex while we were separated lived in her own apartment & still tried to sleep with me while she was with the OM. I laugh at the whole "I'm staying for the kids" thing. He's either looking to cheat or...well possibly doesn't want to live in his parents basement after the wife is done raping him financially in the divorce. But, most likely he's looking to cheat. I've known women at work that I'd became friends with that secretly date guys with kids because the "ex is crazy" and will keep the kid away if she found out he had a GF. LOL! I've tried to explain as a divorced man with two kids that the only thing a baby-momma can do legally concerning the kids is take %30 of his income for child support. But, they just don't want to listen to me. Oh and they only see the guy like once or twice a week for sex because he needs to lie low because of the "crazy ex". LOL! I usally stop hanging out with women in those situations because I deem them unhealthy to be around and they also seem to need a lot of attention because their just not getting it from their "BF" Radio silence is required because of the "crazy ex" again. LOL!
Author sayitasitis Posted November 5, 2011 Author Posted November 5, 2011 I laugh at the whole "I'm staying for the kids" thing. He's either looking to cheat or...well possibly doesn't want to live in his parents basement after the wife is done raping him financially in the divorce. But, most likely he's looking to cheat. I think both of the above. I wish I know what to do.
dasein Posted November 5, 2011 Posted November 5, 2011 The fact that he's honest enough to say that he is married and has 3 kids is not a bad sign. Not all separated men are bad. Separation can mean a lot of things, all of which can be qualified. Then, decide if those things match up with what you want. Voices of reason in the midst of lots of unsupported conjecture. OP, I personally won't consider a relationship with a separated woman, but that's because I don't want the baggage, not because I might be breaking up a marriage, they may be cheating, etc. All marriages end, one way or another, and lots end before the paperwork is filed. Up to you how you feel on the baggage part. As far as prospects of him lying, this is always a chance, but no moreso with a separated man than anyone else. A "single" guy may have a steady GF, etc. Keep your eyes open when meeting anyone new and make sure for yourself they are who they say they are before getting emotionally or physically involved.
ThsAmericanLife Posted November 5, 2011 Posted November 5, 2011 I personally don't have any patience with people who won't wait until the divorce is final to date. Are separated people 'bad' people? Who knows. They are a poor risk for a relationship. I like things simple and drama free... but that is just me... Regarding your situation... how would you feel if you were his wife? Because if these are his morals, then that is how he'll treat you someday when he's not feeling that 'spark'. Would he let you speak to his wife? If they really are just staying together for the kids, then he should have no problems with you checking his 'references'. Depending on his answer, that could be all the verification you need. It is quite simple when you think about it...
Author sayitasitis Posted November 6, 2011 Author Posted November 6, 2011 Voices of reason in the midst of lots of unsupported conjecture. OP, I personally won't consider a relationship with a separated woman, but that's because I don't want the baggage, not because I might be breaking up a marriage, they may be cheating, etc. All marriages end, one way or another, and lots end before the paperwork is filed. Up to you how you feel on the baggage part. As far as prospects of him lying, this is always a chance, but no moreso with a separated man than anyone else. A "single" guy may have a steady GF, etc. Keep your eyes open when meeting anyone new and make sure for yourself they are who they say they are before getting emotionally or physically involved. I agree that relationships aren't all that different anyway. Regarding your situation... how would you feel if you were his wife? Because if these are his morals, then that is how he'll treat you someday when he's not feeling that 'spark'. Would he let you speak to his wife? If they really are just staying together for the kids, then he should have no problems with you checking his 'references'. Depending on his answer, that could be all the verification you need. It is quite simple when you think about it... This is going to get a lot of sarcasm and laughs, I did think about the morals part even though in other areas, he seems to be a good person. I shall ask about the wife. sounds like you are intent to carry on your virtual affair and cyber sex with this married guy. you seem guillable to his lines and want to believe with all your might that he is into you because he got off when you talked dirty to him. i he is separated, talk to his wife. if he is separated he has nothing to hide. staying for the kids ya right. continue on with him and teh cyber sex. as log as you know nothing more will ever come of it; you won't turn into his girlfriend, you won't turn into his princess; nor will he be your boyfriend or prince. you will be the girl on the other end of the computer. if you are going to be in an affair - own it. own your behavior and actions. you know he is married. if you choose to continue, own it and admit you are a con conspirator in the affair. I have no problem owning the label if indeed I decide to go into it. I just came here for opinions even if I may not have articulated them the best over here.
Recommended Posts