quietGuy13 Posted October 29, 2011 Posted October 29, 2011 Women are not atttracted to me at all. People say some women like quiet guys, NOT TRUE. i've never been approacheed, never seen girls giving me any clues they're interested, never seen girls look at me. I have a theory that girls are lucky because there's 100 guys that would love the same 1 girl. But 1 girl out of 100 guys...she would only be interested in 1 or 2. So girls have more options and guys have low probability of being picked. I seem to be in the percentage that women don't like. But it's surprising because i keep hearing that there's somebody for everyone. I haven't felt this at all. There doesn't seem any single woman interested in me
spiderowl Posted October 29, 2011 Posted October 29, 2011 (edited) I know it's unfair but guys do need to project themselves a bit more than women do. When I was younger, I was very quiet (still am), but I got approached by guys. If I'd have been a guy, it's highly unlikely I'd have been approached. A woman might think you are cute but unless you are near to her, or have been chatting to her or something, how is a relationship of any kind going to develop? In my experience, a guy who is interested in me will: - catch my eye a few times, even though I am shy - at some point, make a subtle effort to be nearer to me in the hope of getting a chance to chat (he can't chat from the other side of the room, can he?) - he'll wait until an opportune moment, like when I go to the bar or my friend has temporarily left the room, to casually make a comment on the entertainment/bar/weather - anything. The idea is to make contact and strike up at least a bit of chat - he won't overdo it, but will make an effort to say hello and chat, each time we cross paths - gradually, he (and I) will build up a kind of recognition relationship where he is no longer a stranger - he'll suggest something, an event I might like, something going on, to guage whether I respond positively to the idea of going to something he might be going to. If I do, ... - he might even suggest we meet up there or go together. Gradually, he will make moves to build a bridge between us. I know what many say about women taking the initiative. My responsibility, as I see it, is to respond positively to him and enable the development of a connection (if I like him, that is). If you expect more from a woman than this, you may be disappointed, though I can't speak for all. You need to move into the social circle and talk a bit about yourself and chat to people; this all helps to project your personality so you can be 'known' to people. Then there are the subtle steps forward as above. If you do these and it's not working, then I don't know what's happening, but not everyone is attracted to everyone so it will take a while for the right person to come along. When they do, you don't want to be hiding away and not making contact with her as that's not going to get you anywhere. Edited October 29, 2011 by spiderowl
ptp Posted October 29, 2011 Posted October 29, 2011 Women are not atttracted to me at all. People say some women like quiet guys, NOT TRUE. i've never been approacheed, never seen girls giving me any clues they're interested, never seen girls look at me. I have a theory that girls are lucky because there's 100 guys that would love the same 1 girl. But 1 girl out of 100 guys...she would only be interested in 1 or 2. So girls have more options and guys have low probability of being picked. I seem to be in the percentage that women don't like. But it's surprising because i keep hearing that there's somebody for everyone. I haven't felt this at all. There doesn't seem any single woman interested in me Yea women do the picking..just the way it is. It's cause they are better looking that we are. Don't get discouraged though, keep trying and you never know when you will meet someone special.
Thieves Posted October 29, 2011 Posted October 29, 2011 Women are not atttracted to me at all. People say some women like quiet guys, NOT TRUE. i've never been approacheed, never seen girls giving me any clues they're interested, never seen girls look at me. It's honestly frustrating, and it breaks my heart sometimes to hear men say that women don't like quiet guys since one of the types of men I am really attracted to are quiet men. Or perhaps 'quiet' isn't the right word? Mysterious may be more spot on. But anyway, I think being a quiet guy doesn't have to be a downfall for you, but you have to know that being quiet doesn't mean that you automatically just get to sit back and expect women to fall into your lap either. You still have to put in some effort - everyone has to, to some extent. Whether it's by dressing nicely, smiling more, striking up a few more conversations with people than you normally would just to get the ball rolling. Like I've said before, I can be very attracted to the 'strong silent' type of men. It's sexy if you "do it right". Meaning, if you still put yourself out there somewhat so that others know you are there, but you are still able to be yourself.
Trovador Posted October 29, 2011 Posted October 29, 2011 My responsibility, as I see it, is to respond positively to him and enable the development of a connection (if I like him, that is). If you expect more from a woman than this, you may be disappointed, though I can't speak for all. Fortunately, I haven't found a woman like this... because then nothing would have happened... In my experience, women also have to be proactive... But of course, women's approach to men is subtler than those of a man, and IMO this is what the OP is failing to see...
AHardDaysNight Posted October 29, 2011 Posted October 29, 2011 The problem with being quiet is that most quiet guys, including me, don't show the girl that we like them. As a result, we get ignored. Quiet doesn't have to be a bad thing, but a guy has to have more going for him besides being nice and quiet.
Mrlonelyone Posted October 29, 2011 Posted October 29, 2011 @Quiet Guy It comes down the the gender roles of our society. Women are taught that they should sit back and let the man pick, men should be aggressive. Then we are told that's always the way it is. Many old and successful cultures are matriarchial and women do more of the picking. Many old and successful cultures don't do dating like we do at all, marriages are arranged and if a man approaches an unknown woman he is subject to attack. My point with that is that there is nothing "unnatural" or really all that strange about your being quiet. Just keep your head up, go through life, and a woman who is outgoing enough will like you and you will like her (Is part of your problem is that the ones who do approach you aren't to your liking).
AHardDaysNight Posted October 29, 2011 Posted October 29, 2011 Another thing is that women are generally not attracted to: - Men who have controlling parents - Men who can't control their own finanaces - Men who can't live on their own - Men who have trouble understanding simple life functions - Men who blame women for their own troubles Need I go on? OP, you never respond to these threads, so I probably am wasting my time. But honestly, you need to fix these things, before you can worry about dating.
Alexz Posted October 29, 2011 Posted October 29, 2011 It's honestly frustrating, and it breaks my heart sometimes to hear men say that women don't like quiet guys since one of the types of men I am really attracted to are quiet men. Or perhaps 'quiet' isn't the right word? Mysterious may be more spot on. But anyway, I think being a quiet guy doesn't have to be a downfall for you, but you have to know that being quiet doesn't mean that you automatically just get to sit back and expect women to fall into your lap either. You still have to put in some effort - everyone has to, to some extent. Whether it's by dressing nicely, smiling more, striking up a few more conversations with people than you normally would just to get the ball rolling. Like I've said before, I can be very attracted to the 'strong silent' type of men. It's sexy if you "do it right". Meaning, if you still put yourself out there somewhat so that others know you are there, but you are still able to be yourself. ^_^ Thank you.
Author quietGuy13 Posted October 29, 2011 Author Posted October 29, 2011 Another thing is that women are generally not attracted to: - Men who have controlling parents - Men who can't control their own finanaces - Men who can't live on their own - Men who have trouble understanding simple life functions - Men who blame women for their own troubles Need I go on? OP, you never respond to these threads, so I probably am wasting my time. But honestly, you need to fix these things, before you can worry about dating. Well that's not true. How come they like thug hip hop guys with pants falling down under their buttocks with underwear shown, who can't even hold a job and who have no finances etc etc. They love badboys. Thats just it.
AHardDaysNight Posted October 29, 2011 Posted October 29, 2011 Well that's not true. How come they like thug hip hop guys with pants falling down under their buttocks with underwear shown, who can't even hold a job and who have no finances etc etc. They love badboys. Thats just it. Not all of these guys are bad...that's just an image. I used to have long hair and a beard. I had the "stoner look", despite never having done drugs in my life! It got some interest from hot rocker chicks, but when they discovered I was a nerd instead of a rockstar (despite writing my own songs, I don't have the tough rockstar image), they bailed. I guess what you have to do is find an image that attracts the women that you want to attract. It goes back to simple biology; the female peacocks are attracted to the males with the biggest feathers. In that sense, you have to make yourself stand out.
oaks Posted October 29, 2011 Posted October 29, 2011 They love badboys. Thats just it. If it's that simple then you can give up now. You'll never be a bad boy, and you have your answer to your question. I'll add to AHardDaysNight's list: - Men who whine about how unfair it is that women only like bad boys.
OnyxSnowfall Posted October 29, 2011 Posted October 29, 2011 Don't blame it on your "quiet nature" --- it's not that. The harsh reality is that it is a combination of things that you are (or portray you are).
Fondue Posted October 29, 2011 Posted October 29, 2011 From what I gather, it actually gets better and the numbers begin to favor men as we all get older. When men/women are younger, women have the choices. With age, the line starts to slowly switch the other side of the spectrum, to where men have the pickings. This is especially true if the man doesn't have prior commitments like ex-wife or kids. If you go about life growing yourself instead of family, when you're a little older, you'll have the selection. This is especially true because men age better than women (assuming they take care of themselves). You see so many more attractive men in their mind 30s to early 40s than you do women. Coupled with financial stability, this will make you a good candidate.
AHardDaysNight Posted October 29, 2011 Posted October 29, 2011 Don't blame it on your "quiet nature" --- it's not that. The harsh reality is that it is a combination of things that you are (or portray you are). Exactly what I said. You need to find your niche, and you haven't found it yet (don't feel bad, neither have I!) I do have some suggestions for you, though: 1. Get some different clothes/more fashionable clothes 2. Get a different haircut/fashionable haircut 3. Go to the gym and work out 4. Lose weight (if you have any to lose) 5. Keep good hygiene 6. Try smiling more and keeping your head up and your eyes looking at people, instead of looking down at your feet 7. Have interests? Explore them! Go to meetup.com and find someone who likes doing what you're doing, and make some friends. 8. Take up a sport 9. Try getting on medication for your attention deficit disorder/get a therapist 10.Get a job. Or if you already have a job, work on putting away money so that you can get your own place. 11.Stop using your parents as an emotional crutch. I know they mean well, but they're smothering you. You need to get out there on your own, rather than relying on your parents, or still pretending to be a kid (despite being a 31 year old MAN!) Anybody else have any suggestions? Onyx? Anyone? This dude needs some serious advice! Oh, and stop with the pity party posts. Nobody is going to feel sorry for you never having had a girlfriend, it just makes you look like a loser (I've learned this well.) Girls also aren't going to **** you because they feel sorry for you. You need to stand up and be a MAN, not a little boy.
MaxNoob Posted October 29, 2011 Posted October 29, 2011 Oh, and stop with the pity party posts. Nobody is going to feel sorry for you never having had a girlfriend, it just makes you look like a loser (I've learned this well.) Girls also aren't going to **** you because they feel sorry for you. You need to stand up and be a MAN, not a little boy. Actually there was a survey asking girls the reasons they had for sleeping with a guy. A somewhat common response was "I felt sorry for him." A lot of girls approached me when I had a cast on my arm; "awww that must have been a bad accident." My friends suspected that I wasn't actually injured.
OnyxSnowfall Posted October 29, 2011 Posted October 29, 2011 I do have some suggestions for you, though: 1. Get some different clothes/more fashionable clothes 2. Get a different haircut/fashionable haircut 3. Go to the gym and work out 4. Lose weight (if you have any to lose) 5. Keep good hygiene 6. Try smiling more and keeping your head up and your eyes looking at people, instead of looking down at your feet 7. Have interests? Explore them! Go to meetup.com and find someone who likes doing what you're doing, and make some friends. 8. Take up a sport 9. Try getting on medication for your attention deficit disorder/get a therapist 10.Get a job. Or if you already have a job, work on putting away money so that you can get your own place. 11.Stop using your parents as an emotional crutch. I know they mean well, but they're smothering you. You need to get out there on your own, rather than relying on your parents, or still pretending to be a kid (despite being a 31 year old MAN!) Anybody else have any suggestions? Onyx? Anyone? This dude needs some serious advice! Oh, and stop with the pity party posts. Nobody is going to feel sorry for you never having had a girlfriend, it just makes you look like a loser (I've learned this well.) Girls also aren't going to **** you because they feel sorry for you. You need to stand up and be a MAN, not a little boy. I think you thoroughly and wonderfully covered it
Thieves Posted October 30, 2011 Posted October 30, 2011 Hm. I too agree with Fondue's point of men really growing into their age and the selection of women becomes a bit better. Men really do get better as they age, it's wonderful. Not necessarily for the financially stable aspect, but they also seem to be a lot more comfortable with their own lives and with themselves. Mm... Younger guys aren't bad, though. Onyx is also right that it's not just the fact that the OP is quiet. I know quite a few quiet guys who don't really have problems getting girls. It has to be a combination of other things.. ^_^ Thank you. Oh, and you're welcome, Alexz.
silvermercy Posted October 30, 2011 Posted October 30, 2011 From what I gather, it actually gets better and the numbers begin to favor men as we all get older. When men/women are younger, women have the choices. With age, the line starts to slowly switch the other side of the spectrum, to where men have the pickings. This is especially true if the man doesn't have prior commitments like ex-wife or kids. If you go about life growing yourself instead of family, when you're a little older, you'll have the selection. This is especially true because men age better than women (assuming they take care of themselves). You see so many more attractive men in their mind 30s to early 40s than you do women. Coupled with financial stability, this will make you a good candidate. I don't even...
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