lionashtray Posted October 28, 2011 Posted October 28, 2011 Hello everybody. No friends around to ask today so wanted a response to this.... I met a guy online, been texting, speaking on the phone for two weeks, so far, so good. We have arranged to meet for coffee next tomorrow night. I googled him just now and found some messages he has posted on a blog and on twitter. He appears to be in contact with porn stars and the such like and messages them quite suggestive comments, as recently as two days ago! There are about ten or so different women who he regularly messages and they reply. They are not just female friends as I've looked them up too and they are online porn stars so he wouldn't have ever actually met any of them. Is this common with men? Is is acceptable? Should I be worried or put off? My ex used to look at porn sites, I'm open-minded and it didn't bother me. This however is different the whole world can read the stuff he's written. Also is some of his other comments he has sworn terribly, quite offensive. He has never had such a 'potty mouth' (!) on the phone...is this normal? Are people different online or are their comments a true reflection of what they are really like in the flesh/when you get to know them? Otherwise I really like him...need help to ascertain if I am over reacting or not. Please help!
InJest Posted October 28, 2011 Posted October 28, 2011 Imagine that. You went digging for dirt, and you found it. Get over it, or walk away, but don't carry this around as you're getting to know him.
Ruby Slippers Posted October 28, 2011 Posted October 28, 2011 Ew, that would be a huge turn-off for me. I would cancel the date and tell him exactly why.
Art_Critic Posted October 28, 2011 Posted October 28, 2011 The internet is a big place.. How sure are you that the guy you are talking to is the same guy ? Having the same profile is isn't good enough.. I googled your LS id and found similar item names at head shops.. are we to assume that you got your id from a head shop ? If you are sure and bothered.. then the least you can do is ask the guy about his online rantings and if it is indeed him then drop him like a bad transmission
Author lionashtray Posted October 28, 2011 Author Posted October 28, 2011 Yeh I know I feel silly now as I set out to find something - just too nosy I guess. But I would like to know if men (and women) on here think this is normal. I mean I wouldn't want to be so easily found out if I was writing some of the stuff I read. His parents would easily be able to read it too. He has a very uniquely spelled name so was the first thing that popped up on google. His twitter account has 6 photos of him so there's no mistaking. I really don't mind him writing all this just want to know if it's a common thing with people (I don't do twitter, I don't blog so I don't know)
Author lionashtray Posted October 28, 2011 Author Posted October 28, 2011 The internet is a big place.. How sure are you that the guy you are talking to is the same guy ? Having the same profile is isn't good enough.. I googled your LS id and found similar item names at head shops.. are we to assume that you got your id from a head shop ? If you are sure and bothered.. then the least you can do is ask the guy about his online rantings and if it is indeed him then drop him like a bad transmission I just had to google head shop as I didn't know what one was! My niece made me a clay pot with a painting of a lion on it and I use it as an ashtray - hence lionashtray. So concensus is that it isn't a good idea to go on a date with foul mouthed twitter guy then??
Art_Critic Posted October 28, 2011 Posted October 28, 2011 On twitter it isn't unusual for porn spam to post ranting to you. Within 24 hrs of me having a twitter account I had to delete 2 posts of people from other countries wanting to have web cam sex with me. I think you need to ask him.. While it looks like you found some dirt on the guy there might also be a reasonable explanation.
Art_Critic Posted October 28, 2011 Posted October 28, 2011 So concensus is that it isn't a good idea to go on a date with foul mouthed twitter guy then?? I would guess that his rantings as really like what he is like... So if his rantings are not to your taste then by all means exit.
Author lionashtray Posted October 28, 2011 Author Posted October 28, 2011 So Art Critic, if you have a twitter account then it could look as if you have written a message to someone when in fact you haven't. These women were also his 'followers' of that makes any difference? He basically asks them to describe what turns them on (far more graphically than that though!). I am surprised however as he has an important job in the city and I'm sure his bosses/colleagues would frown upon clients of his being able to see so easily what he writes to porn stars!
Art_Critic Posted October 28, 2011 Posted October 28, 2011 So Art Critic, if you have a twitter account then it could look as if you have written a message to someone when in fact you haven't. These women were also his 'followers' of that makes any difference? He basically asks them to describe what turns them on (far more graphically than that though!). If he is posting on their twitter accounts then those are his words...
Author lionashtray Posted October 28, 2011 Author Posted October 28, 2011 I would guess that his rantings as really like what he is like... So if his rantings are not to your taste then by all means exit. Would it be to any woman's taste to date someone who regularly tweets to other women about what he wants to do to them?? Ha Ha!!
Cee Posted October 28, 2011 Posted October 28, 2011 I'm not bothered by him "talking" to porn stars on Twitter. Twitter is that kind of place where all sorts of people mingle. I once had a porn star on my Twitter feed although I have never commented on any of his posts. He was simply somebody I "followed." What bothers me is this man lacks the judgment not to lock his feed. Or keep his comments more PG rated. I wouldn't want to be associate with someone who could get me in trouble with my job or family. And dating a man like that might get me in trouble if my online persona got linked with his. I think it's fine to ask him about his Twitter feed. It's a public thing, more public than Facebook. His answer might give a sense of his character.
norajane Posted October 28, 2011 Posted October 28, 2011 He's messaging with porn women? Ick. Was that through twitter, for all his friends to see? Double ick. I'd have a hard time taking him seriously, or not looking at him differently. It's one thing for guys to look at porn. It's quite another to take the next step and actually maintain correspondence with women in porn. To me, he's way too involved with porn if that's what he's doing.
Author lionashtray Posted October 28, 2011 Author Posted October 28, 2011 If he is posting on their twitter accounts then those are his words... OK this is good so I now need to check THEIR accounts. Now I am definately a crazed online stalker but as I have nothing better to do I shall continue and no doubt uncover more unsavory details about my potential date!
Art_Critic Posted October 28, 2011 Posted October 28, 2011 OK this is good so I now need to check THEIR accounts. Now I am definately a crazed online stalker but as I have nothing better to do I shall continue and no doubt uncover more unsavory details about my potential date! I meant tweeting to them.. if he is tweeting to them then those are his words...
zengirl Posted October 28, 2011 Posted October 28, 2011 I'm not bothered by him "talking" to porn stars on Twitter. Twitter is that kind of place where all sorts of people mingle. I once had a porn star on my Twitter feed although I have never commented on any of his posts. He was simply somebody I "followed." What bothers me is this man lacks the judgment not to lock his feed. Or keep his comments more PG rated. I wouldn't want to be associate with someone who could get me in trouble with my job or family. And dating a man like that might get me in trouble if my online persona got linked with his. I think it's fine to ask him about his Twitter feed. It's a public thing, more public than Facebook. His answer might give a sense of his character. I am with Cee on this one. Twitter is a pretty public thing, actually meant to be so, as it's more commonly used for networking than FB is. It sounds off-putting to me, and I'd cancel the date over it and tell him why, as Ruby said, but not simply because of who he's following. Just the overall view of it.
Author lionashtray Posted October 28, 2011 Author Posted October 28, 2011 I meant tweeting to them.. if he is tweeting to them then those are his words... Forgive me as I am very computer illiterrate but how to I know if he's tweeting to them? Do I need to look them up and if the same message is there then it's him? I don't understand sorry!! It says his name the @ porn star (or whatever they're called) and then message.
Author lionashtray Posted October 28, 2011 Author Posted October 28, 2011 TBH I've never googled anyone before and I've been on a fair few internet dates. A mixture of being bored and nosy and also he's pretty fit and good looking, one of the best so far so I was curious and maybe hoped to find some dirt on him as otherwise, on paper, he may be just too good to be true!
FitChick Posted October 28, 2011 Posted October 28, 2011 I google someone I'm interested in as soon as I know their last name, which is why I never give them my last name unless we have met and are planning to meet again. Although my last name is rather common. I've been unable to find myself online, which is a good thing. I don't use Twitter or Facebook for that reason. I like my privacy.
Mrlonelyone Posted October 28, 2011 Posted October 28, 2011 I think you should hear his side of the story. Some people I POe'd with my dispassionate editing of certain Wikipedia articles led them to create webpages smearing me. They posted several lies and half truths and cyberstalk me all over the internet. So googleing someone is an imperfect way to check on them. There is no filter for veracity or neutrality of information on there and it can be manipulated. As other have been trying to explain. Following a persons feed: Means their tweets are sent t your home page. NO permssion is needed to follow someone. Tweeting: Putting information on twitter. Most people tweet on their own page but you can tweet to another person. That some other person is following you means nothing.
Author lionashtray Posted October 28, 2011 Author Posted October 28, 2011 I think you should hear his side of the story. Some people I POe'd with my dispassionate editing of certain Wikipedia articles led them to create webpages smearing me. They posted several lies and half truths and cyberstalk me all over the internet. So googleing someone is an imperfect way to check on them. There is no filter for veracity or neutrality of information on there and it can be manipulated. As other have been trying to explain. Following a persons feed: Means their tweets are sent t your home page. NO permssion is needed to follow someone. Tweeting: Putting information on twitter. Most people tweet on their own page but you can tweet to another person. That some other person is following you means nothing. OK then so if this guy is following someone then have they actually chosen to follow them. He follows some of the porn stars! His tweets to the porn stars appear on his homepage so I'm still a bit confused with this - I take it he has actually written these tweets himself? To the porn stars?
Mrlonelyone Posted October 29, 2011 Posted October 29, 2011 I can't be sure but let me put it this way. If you see BF's twitter name____________________ Jenna Jameson and Allahna Star have big boobs! _____________ That's him. Though I have a question for you. So he tweets to porn stars. Is he any more strange than the 100% of men who have some kind of porn in their posession?
Author lionashtray Posted October 29, 2011 Author Posted October 29, 2011 I can't be sure but let me put it this way. If you see BF's twitter name____________________ Jenna Jameson and Allahna Star have big boobs! _____________ That's him. Though I have a question for you. So he tweets to porn stars. Is he any more strange than the 100% of men who have some kind of porn in their posession? OK thanks but the messages are like this: His name @ Jenna Jeameson: bla bla bla I think liking porn is 100% fine it's just that his tweets are so public - it's as if he doen't care who sees them. He has a niece whom he talks to online she's 6 and I find it strange that he's happy she could come accross these messages.
OneFootOut Posted October 29, 2011 Posted October 29, 2011 OK then so if this guy is following someone then have they actually chosen to follow them. He follows some of the porn stars! His tweets to the porn stars appear on his homepage so I'm still a bit confused with this - I take it he has actually written these tweets himself? To the porn stars? Men and women both sometimes have a different 'online personality', its just an outlet and another way to express themselves or step out of their daily routine. Some become characters in games, some text and flirt with movie stars, porn stars, etc, that they will never know or meet. It's just a fantasy type thing. I would be more concerned if he was texting and saying these things to a neighbor or friend - that he had real life access to. As far as potty mouth, if he doesn't act that way with you, then don't worry about it. If he likes you and has any respect for you he will watch his language around you. If it bothers you bad enough to worry this much, then move on. Otherwise, say to him, "hey, I googled you for kicks, are you really so kinky? hostile? (fill in the blank)"
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