SheLovesPurple Posted October 28, 2011 Posted October 28, 2011 Well my boyfriend is. He lives in Nevada and I live in california. My boyfriend is always broke and I've given him 400 dollars within a months span. Christmas is coming up and I'm trying to get ready for that. It is selfish that I don't want to give him anymore money?? I haven't been able 2 afford 2 travel to see him because everytime I save up money 2 take the trip he needs some. I get vry irritated with him. I love him more than anything but he decided to make this move to a diff state and I supported it. I still support his decision. I didn't like it but I wasn't against it. I feel like he should have been more prepared. Honestly its not my responisbility to take careof him right? I have my own bills. LDR is hrd. Whenever I tell him NO I CAN'T GIVE U ANY MOney I feel horrible because he says I'm all he has now.
wildgeese Posted October 28, 2011 Posted October 28, 2011 It's a bit hard to determine a solution when we don't really know the situation. Why does he need so much money? Is he working? Does he plan on paying you back? I know he's your boyfriend, but he should not take advantage of you. That's not what you're there for and he shouldn't want to.
creighton0123 Posted October 28, 2011 Posted October 28, 2011 He is your boyfriend, not your husband. You should not have to give your boyfriend money because he is without. So no. Don't pay any more of his bills.
Sake3838 Posted October 30, 2011 Posted October 30, 2011 Well my boyfriend is. He lives in Nevada and I live in california. My boyfriend is always broke and I've given him 400 dollars within a months span. Christmas is coming up and I'm trying to get ready for that. It is selfish that I don't want to give him anymore money?? I haven't been able 2 afford 2 travel to see him because everytime I save up money 2 take the trip he needs some. I get vry irritated with him. I love him more than anything but he decided to make this move to a diff state and I supported it. I still support his decision. I didn't like it but I wasn't against it. I feel like he should have been more prepared. Honestly its not my responisbility to take careof him right? I have my own bills. LDR is hrd. Whenever I tell him NO I CAN'T GIVE U ANY MOney I feel horrible because he says I'm all he has now. Well i dont know the situation.. and for most people reading they might first think.. "he is using her for her money and a reliable source to stay lazy and still be with a loved one" No matter how much he loves you, he needs to also care about you. Taking money from you when you yourself dont have enough to pay for bills and spend to see someone, is not caring. When you dont care for someone more than yourself, you are incapable of really loving them. Thats my take on it, hope you can take something positive out of this to better what you want to keep
FitChick Posted November 5, 2011 Posted November 5, 2011 He wants your money more than he wants to see you. Find someone closer with a job.
she cooks Posted November 5, 2011 Posted November 5, 2011 What worries me most is the last part you said about being all he has now. That really puts you in a difficult situation, and it's not fair to you. You deserve a man who wants to take care of you, and treat you, too. We all go through hard patches but he should not lay his problems at your door, or feel so comfortable taking money from you instead of being able (and proud enough) to support himself. And to treat you to nice things, and to visit you and be in a relationship where you are giving equals.
hestheone66 Posted November 9, 2011 Posted November 9, 2011 Hmmmm dependancy and emotional blackmail do not equal love.. you said it.. he moved away from you.. it's not your problem and you'd be better off without him, at the very least have a very open discussion about what the pressure demonstrates to you about his character and set some boundaries that would be appropriate. using the phrase.. "if I was your sister, what advice would you give her about giving her boyfriend money ?" is a great way to help others to take a different perspective from their neediness.. cheers
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