LSgirl Posted October 28, 2011 Posted October 28, 2011 So it's 10pm and I know right now my ex (of 10 months) is at this Halloween club thing he bought tickets to (for both of us, it's a 3 day festival starting tonight) and of course I'm not going, and we haven't spoken since the breakup about 6 days ago (the night he broke up with me i begged and felt pathetic, I told myself NC asap and i did) Knowing he hasn't contacted me by now or today to go to the festival really shows he's just not interested in coming back to me. I know I'm supposed to go NC for myself but I'm still angry and sad that he's moved as he said he was going to do. We were even supposed to go snorkeling next week. (I find myself repetitive here on LS and think I will be posting here regularly lol) Tonight, I got invited to a friend's BBQ, it was nice for awhile, drank some wine, talked about the ex, but then after awhile of drinking I started thinking of him, looking at my phone, lost interest in people's conversations and went home (I work in the morning anyway). Point is, even when I go out, distractions are so minor I just go back to thinking about him. I really shouldn't drink at all, even just a few glasses of wine. Everyday that goes by should be a new day to forget him and move on with my life, but instead it just reminds me one more day has passed that he has moved on from me and won't be coming back.
sallyho Posted October 28, 2011 Posted October 28, 2011 im so sorry for the pain you are going through i know its very hard i only managed 3days and i had to text my x it didnt go to well i wish now i hadnt bothered it only makes you feel worse i think i was hoping he would tell me that he missed me but he didnt he didnt seem to bothered so its left me feeling worse so no more contact from me. time will tell if they want us back they will get in contact with us if they dont they were never right for us anyway and we have to move on no matter how hard it is. youve done well keep up the good work you will come out of this a stronger person
Space Ritual Posted October 28, 2011 Posted October 28, 2011 Ls Girl, you have embarked on one of the hardest things a person can do, and I applaud you for your effort. many people would think 6 days of NC is a cakewalk but you and I know better... I know you must already be sick of the word "Time". In reality I cannot stress enough just how important it truly is. Right now even if you are feeling like you are going to cave, please try to remember you have already gone 6 days and you are still alive, still breathing, and you got this far in life WITHOUT your ex. have you done the hard stuff yet, as in delete him and block him off of FB, deleted his phone number, email address. If you have not so far, this is the next step... You can also let it be known to those who support you that for time being it would be better if when you were out and about if they would refrain from engaging in any conversation about your ex, or what he is doing or not doing. It is no longer your concern. I would suggest taking a break from the drinking as well for a bit. Just in that if your inhibitions are lowered you may get an itch to contact him when a little buzzed and you will be back at square one... Baby Steps...
Author LSgirl Posted October 28, 2011 Author Posted October 28, 2011 Yes, so today makes Day 6, I woke up and logged in and saw my ex was tagged in an FB post with his friend where they checked into a bar around midnight. Of course I don't expect him sitting at home moping around, he's a very social guy. I know I shouldn't even be looking at his facebook profile nor why we are still friends. It actually says we're still in a relationship (but that's bc he rarely go on it, and just goes on it really fast with his iPhone) so I don't think he's thought about changing his relationship status. I feel like since he broke up with me, he should make that change. At the moment, I'm pretending like I don't even go on my facebook and ignoring any wall posts on my page (but messaging friends back so he can't see) I know, it's dumb, but I just can't seem to delete him (maybe in the next week or so I may).
Bobby289 Posted October 28, 2011 Posted October 28, 2011 Best thing you can do for yourself is to deactivate your facebook for awhile and learn to not worry about what he is doing. I am so glad I did it! It is hard because you cut yourself off from everyone else but it also means there is no miscommunication on what you see and what is reality...
ken_25 Posted October 28, 2011 Posted October 28, 2011 Tonight, I got invited to a friend's BBQ, it was nice for awhile, drank some wine, talked about the ex, but then after awhile of drinking I started thinking of him, looking at my phone, lost interest in people's conversations and went home (I work in the morning anyway). Point is, even when I go out, distractions are so minor I just go back to thinking about him. I really shouldn't drink at all, even just a few glasses of wine. Everyday that goes by should be a new day to forget him and move on with my life, but instead it just reminds me one more day has passed that he has moved on from me and won't be coming back. Keep getting distracted, no matter how minor, eventually you'll become distracted longer and longer until eventually you don't need to be distracted. I think it's unrealistic to look at it like, a new day that goes by should be a day to forget him and move on. For me, I didn't progress each day. I went up and down all week and then when I looked back on the week I saw progress compared to the week before.
HappyFlower Posted October 29, 2011 Posted October 29, 2011 Best thing you can do for yourself is to deactivate your facebook for awhile and learn to not worry about what he is doing. I am so glad I did it! It is hard because you cut yourself off from everyone else but it also means there is no miscommunication on what you see and what is reality... I was going to do that...and then decided that my ex shouldn't affect my ability to keep up with my friends So I took him, his family and all his friends off my f'list, and blocked them all Worked wonders! And as an aside (because it was never done to affect him) it pissed him off so he told me, because he wanted to 'stay FB friends'. Tough.
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