going to let go.

[AlexisMacabre]

well i kinda snooped in on my husband today but only cause im worried about him.

 

seems like he hasnt been talking to girls like i was thinking he was. he seems like hes just been trying to drown out his days with drinking and popping pills and possibly smoking weed again. im so disappointed in him because when we got together he was totally into the drug scene only 16 and smoking weed and snorting cocaine and whatever else he was doing and when we met he stopped all that.

 

there were a few times we did smoke weed together but besides that he never did it.

 

before we split up he started to drink a lot coming home drunk a few times wanting to cuddle with me and i loved it dont get me wrong but then we split up and i had no idea it was going to happen i guess he just started going through some stuff and pushed me away again.

 

im his wife and the mother of his son, of course im always going to be worried about him, im always going to care about him but i can only do so much because he doesnt wanna let me in.

 

getting drunk everynight and popping pills all the time isnt what he should be doing he should be worried about his family but i guess were not that important to him.

 

i love him but i just gotta let him go. i cant do anything for him anymore and especially when he said he didnt love me anymore.

 

so i just gotta move on and work on giving my son a good life on my own. as much as i wish it was him i would be doing all this its not and its never going to be.

 

letting go is going to be hard but i just cant be going through this anymore, its too much for me to handle and its not good for my son to be getting moved back and forth all the time.

 

he cant handle being married and being a father then hes never going to be able to handle it.

 

i dont wanna get hurt again by trusting him and then he takes everything back.

 

i just dont know...maybe this is the best, as much as i love him i cant do this anymore.