August25 Posted October 28, 2011 Posted October 28, 2011 So me and my girlfriend split after 2.5 years because she is moving several hours away for university and feels that long distance will be too hard for us to cope with as we have been so dependant on each other. She says she wants to live some of her life and not spend the next three years crying about missing me but she wants to get back together in the future once she is finished her degree. So we agreed to split and give eachother as much space as possible. We live together which make things kind of harder because while she is trying to separate (seperate rooms and beds, she works all day i work all night etc) she still says she loves me and knows im still in love with her. Now the kicker, yesterday, 4 days after the breakup i came home and borrowed her phone when she got a text. She was "sexting" a guy from her work. She told me she is just lonely and misses me so much. That she just wants someone to hold her, have sex with her so she can blow off steam and pretend its like me, a guy that she wont care about when she leaves. He is a guy who has been flirting with her for a few months now, ive managed to keep him back without her knowledge but now there is nothing i can do to stop him, it is not my place and she doesnt care anymore. I get that he is a rebound but it is killing me inside as we were both eachothers first and only lovers and thinking of her with someone else hurts so much. Also i have met this guy and he is a total scumbag. He will have sex with her until he is bored and then toss her like yesterdays trash. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO! One part of me wants to do everything i can to block the relationship because i cant bear to see her hurt, and i know it will happen, but im afraid she will resent me if i do. The other part wants to let it happen so she sees how badly he will he will treat her, how awful he is and comes back to me. I know that sounds awful but at least that way ill get the chance to beat the bastard with my bat! Sad isn't it? How no matter what she does or says to me... when she comes running back... when she needs me again... I'll be here... right here waiting for her, I'll take her back... no questions asked. LOVE SUCKS! Should i try and get her back? Should i move away with her? Should i ruin this rebound? Should i just get up and out before i end up hurting even more? (if that is possible) HELP
daphne Posted October 28, 2011 Posted October 28, 2011 You have to let her go and make her own mistakes. She has already chosen that. She's young. She is probably naive and inexperienced about these things. But she wants the experience, and there's not much you can do. Considering how much you care, you may want to back off and take care of yourself or you'll end up enabling her. I don't think you'd be able to be a supportive friend when things don't work out the way she might have liked.
Pierre Posted October 28, 2011 Posted October 28, 2011 Dude: The story she fed you is an excuse so she can have freely have sex with another man. She has probably being having an affair and this triggered her desire to leave. She is damaged goods and you must leave her. There is a paradox here: If you are clingy and a door mat she will not find you attractive or desirable. If you dump her she could come back to you on her knees. Let her go. No good sane woman does what she is doing to you.
daphne Posted October 28, 2011 Posted October 28, 2011 ^ What he said. And btw, don't be a doormat who is going to hold onto hope that it'll work out down the road some time. She's stringing you along as her backup in case her plan of sowing her wild oats doesn't pan out like she thought. She's young. It's something young people do. I don't think she's a bad person, but I think she will hurt you quite a bit if you let her. Put yourself first here.
Author August25 Posted October 28, 2011 Author Posted October 28, 2011 Thanks a lot you two. Youre both right. I guess i knew all of that before i even posted this i just didnt want to admit it to myself.
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