beachwrangler Posted October 28, 2011 Posted October 28, 2011 Here is my old thread to get all who doesn't know my story caught up on everything that has happened. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t301613/?highlight=story+ends So I thought I was doing well. Staying in NC, going to the gym, going out with friends, meeting new people, new haircut, new threads, new car, and big promotion coming up in January. She texted me a few days ago and told me that she didn't want things to work out anymore, at least not right now because she just couldn't be with me now after everything that has happened. So I knew it meant she was going to pursue Tony. I told her I understood wished her the best with Tony and to take care of herself. I told her I couldn't be friends bc it would hurt to much to see her with somebody else and that I needed to move on. Well tonight I find out they are now in an official relationship and are already telling each other they love each other. This honestly killed me. It's like we dated for two years and you've known him for about a month and half and I've already been replaced. It makes me feel like our whole relationship was nothing but a joke. I guess it gives me the clear answer that we will never be together and I have no choice but to continue to move on.
perfectlyflawed459 Posted October 28, 2011 Posted October 28, 2011 Well I don't mean to give you false hope, but it really sounds like a rebound. These relationships are said to move very fast and the "I love you's" start coming out almost instantly. She seems go have that "grass is greener" sydrome and wants to try out other guys. I would recommend deleting her from any social network because right now you really don't need to know what is going on in her life right now, it will only bring you down. Right now all you can do is let go, go NC, and focus on healing yourself. I know how hard it is, but I promise it does get better each day. Just take it one day at a time.
PositiveNegative Posted October 28, 2011 Posted October 28, 2011 Welcome to the club man. It burns doesn't it? I know exactly what you mean. It feels like your relationship meant nothing to them if they could just move on that easily. Think about it this way. It's better that she does this now rather than later. If it happened 4 or 5 months from now you would have had to deal with additional pain after all that healing you had gone through. If someone told you they were going to shoot you with a paintball gun twice wouldn't you rather have the two shots back to back then get shot then wait days for the next one? The wounds will heal together.
Mcnulty Posted October 28, 2011 Posted October 28, 2011 Like the paintball analogy! if you read my recent post, "flattened", I'm going through much the same...Geegirl gives great advice if you care to read it. We just stopped texting each other 3 weeks ago today, were having issues, then wednesday my mum rings me and tells me she's on FB with status"in a relationship" with my "friend", so I'm feeling what you're feeling, It's awful I know, feel ill again today, can't face food, feel a mug and embarrassed...you're not alone mate, try to stay strong with the rest of us...seems to be all guys going through this on here lately!
Chi townD Posted October 28, 2011 Posted October 28, 2011 So I thought I was doing well. Staying in NC, going to the gym, going out with friends, meeting new people, new haircut, new threads, new car, and big promotion coming up in January.. Focus on these positives and don't look back. She's going to get tired of this Tony guy and she's going to hear how well you're doing. Believe me, she's gonna keep tabs on you, even if you don't know it. She may reach out to you in the future, but I hope that you've healed enough and moved on far enough not to fall for it.
Author beachwrangler Posted October 28, 2011 Author Posted October 28, 2011 I really appreciate all the advice and yes I'm exactly going to focus on the positives. I'm actually at the gym now instead of being at home sulking. As for it being a rebound relationship its very well possible and to make matters worse he got out of a relationship just right before we broke up so both could very well be in a rebound if such a thing exists. Regardless its time to put all this stress behind me.
ffw Posted October 28, 2011 Posted October 28, 2011 Irrespective of rebound relationship, I hope you are not thinking to get her back. I know in rare cases reconcilation happens. But in my opinion, once a third party comes into the picture, things will never be the same again.
Space Ritual Posted October 28, 2011 Posted October 28, 2011 (edited) Here is my old thread to get all who doesn't know my story caught up on everything that has happened. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t301613/?highlight=story+ends So I thought I was doing well. Staying in NC, going to the gym, going out with friends, meeting new people, new haircut, new threads, new car, and big promotion coming up in January. She texted me a few days ago and told me that she didn't want things to work out anymore, at least not right now because she just couldn't be with me now after everything that has happened. So I knew it meant she was going to pursue Tony. I told her I understood wished her the best with Tony and to take care of herself. I told her I couldn't be friends bc it would hurt to much to see her with somebody else and that I needed to move on. Well tonight I find out they are now in an official relationship and are already telling each other they love each other. This honestly killed me. It's like we dated for two years and you've known him for about a month and half and I've already been replaced. It makes me feel like our whole relationship was nothing but a joke. I guess it gives me the clear answer that we will never be together and I have no choice but to continue to move on. Bro, why the hell do you even have her number and why on earth would you respond to a single text she sent. You sat there for months and took this crap from her, and after basically her telling you in September that you suck, and your friends suck...why would you even give this woman the time of day? lol. If some woman I was dating up and told me that, she would not have to tell me twice. I'd just advise her to get her belongings and get out of my life and then make an appointment to get an STD test... she treated you like crap, yet you pine..... male egos are fragile.... No Contact does not mean limited contact whereby she texts you to tell you that the guy she has been banging for 7 weeks is the one and you "wont be working out"... 'Yeah Bitch, I heard you the first time..now go **** Yourself" would have been the only text you needed to have sent.... Lose her number, because now she sent you into a tailspin and you are back here and it has ruined all the weeks of what you thought was recovery...dude you are back to square one...with all the pain and hurt it feels just as fresh as it did in September I imagine...You have only yourself to blame because had you actually been no contact she would have never been able to send you a text..Know what I mean? Edited October 28, 2011 by Space Ritual spelling...what else..
Mcnulty Posted October 28, 2011 Posted October 28, 2011 Space AND Spaceritual make sense. NC is the only way forward, I've deleted everything, email, phone, Msn and I won't be contacting her again. Please heed our advice.
TheFinalWord Posted October 29, 2011 Posted October 29, 2011 Hey bro, I've gone through something similar. Heck, I bought the girl a ring and was two weeks from proposing. We break up, and in two weeks she has a new boyfriend with pictures all over social media...the creepy thing is she replicated ALL of the same activities we did together. The others are right; if she said she loved you and can do this to you, all it proves is that she never really did. Either that or she has no clue what love really is. Either way she is immature and is just staying in contact with you so she can keep you on the back burner. Also, she could just be evil and likes to know she can mess with you. Why else would she contact you if she was truly happy with this new guy? The best thing for you is NC, go to your cell phone provider management page and block her number. Also, block her e-mail. Make it so that if she wants to contact you for something it would take serious effort on her end. Absolutely do not do anything to give her any indication of what you are up to. Do not let her think she can play you. I know what you mean about feeling replaced. With rebounds the girl often tries to advance the relationship to the point the prior one was at quickly to fill in the missing emotions she was used to. It's childish, but you can't reason with a girl that immature so don't waste your time trying. Just consider that she has not even given herself a chance to process the break up which proves she is mentally immature. It probably won't last, but who cares...would you even want her back? The break up itself would be hard enough to reconcile, but now she has burned all bridges by brining in a new guy. You can now never trust her again. Everytime she would say "I love you" you'll just think to yourself "yeah that's why it took you a whole month to get in a new relationship." Trust me she hasn't replaced you. She has replaced having to grow as a person and take the time to reflect on the relationship by using another guy to help her cope. WEAK. You don't want a woman like that. She'll be no help to you in the future.
Author beachwrangler Posted October 29, 2011 Author Posted October 29, 2011 Space Ritual you are dead on. I should've cut her off the moment I knew she slept with him. Instead I fell for all the breadcrumbs she laid out for me. Love makes you do stupid things. I really wanted to believe her that sleeping with him was a mistake but boy I suffered the consequences. I wouldn't say I'm back to square one but this was a definite set back. Final word you are dead on as well. This guy is the COMPLETE opposite of me. She and this guy do exactly the same things we did as a couple which is just weird and it does seem she is trying to sky rocket their relationship to where our's was. Impossible to do that in a little over a month when it took us 2 years to build it to that point. But whatever that's their problem now not mine. I have forgiven her for all she's done but honestly I will never be able to forget all she's done to me.
Author beachwrangler Posted October 29, 2011 Author Posted October 29, 2011 (edited) Ugh I'm mad at myself along with my friends and family. She texted me today and I responded. She asked me if I wanted anything from the apartment she bought before she returned it. I just said no I'm good thanks though. Then texted me asking about the job promotion told her things were looking good and was really excited. She said she hoped it all worked out and I responded with thanks. Then the psycho comes out. She texts me back saying uhm sure your an ******* towards me now and days. Told her I wasn't trying to come off that way that I knew she was dating and happy with somebody else so it was tough. She comes back and says whatever you keep digging yourself a bigger hole. I didn't respond to this. Its like what ****ing hole were not together. Whatever I took a step forward here she's insane. Still feeling like a dumbass for responding to her should've known nothing good comes out of it. Edited October 29, 2011 by beachwrangler
Author beachwrangler Posted November 1, 2011 Author Posted November 1, 2011 So im proud of myself didn't fall into another one of her traps. Yesterday she texts me asking if I am seeing anybody else. That she's sorry she's been hateful its just irritating that I act as if she means nothing to me now and would like if I showed her I cared. She also stated that she isn't happy with Tony her new boyfriend. I ignored these texts and haven't heard from her today. I've been down that road before and know the outcome.
WiseOne1 Posted November 1, 2011 Posted November 1, 2011 Yes and it's more bread crumbs. People hate to see the Ex that they dumped is doing great, just fine without them. Love can make you put up with some crap that otherwise you would know better than to fall for, for example we do it all the time on loveshack we tell people how they should attack a situation but all of a sudden become dumb when it happens to us. And **** digging yourself a whole, who the heck do she think she is????? Like you can't do any better without her approving of your attitude..my ex told me the same thing, and I was like I dont mind digging a whole, I want you to leave and never come back.
Author beachwrangler Posted November 1, 2011 Author Posted November 1, 2011 Yeah and the breadcrumbs keep coming. Early text this morning saying how she has been thinking about me a lot these past few days and wanted to get dinner with me tonight. She obviously has no respect for her current bf to be talking to me like this. Sorry for all the posts but it keeps me from being an idiot and responding to her lol.
cavedweller Posted November 1, 2011 Posted November 1, 2011 beach, This Tony dude ain't working out..She wants you back..It's your call now......Take her back or move on.
Author beachwrangler Posted November 1, 2011 Author Posted November 1, 2011 So I almost broke NC she just texted me saying don't worry about dinner I think its a bad idea I miss you so much but I know things will never be the same with us. She's really making it easier for me to move on and not look back.
Author beachwrangler Posted November 3, 2011 Author Posted November 3, 2011 Wow is all I can say. Just received this text from the ex. Posting here to collect my thoughts " So basically I've been crying over you the majority of the night. Damn shocktop lol. I miss you. And I miss us. And I want so desperately for things to work between us. But I feel were at the point of no return. Where you'll never let the whole Tony thing go and things will back to how they were. I 100 percent know that will happen. And it's devastating. And I was hoping tony would fill that void with you gone but doesn't. I find more and more reasons to not like him everyday. And I think about how it would be different if it were you. But I know like your family hates me. So I know. But I miss you. And I love you.
WiseOne1 Posted November 3, 2011 Posted November 3, 2011 She is right. She might truly feel this way, but he truth is you will never fogive this, basically you will never love her like you once did.
Space Ritual Posted November 3, 2011 Posted November 3, 2011 Again, why the HELL do you even allow her to text you...CHANGE YOUR NUMBER! Refer to my other post...please man, do not allow yourself to be a backup plan. Delete her number off your phone. I dont care if her pussy is lined with mink....stop allowing her to text you.
Space Ritual Posted November 3, 2011 Posted November 3, 2011 Wow is all I can say. Just received this text from the ex. Posting here to collect my thoughts " So basically I've been crying over you the majority of the night. Damn shocktop lol. I miss you. And I miss us. And I want so desperately for things to work between us. But I feel were at the point of no return. Where you'll never let the whole Tony thing go and things will back to how they were. I 100 percent know that will happen. And it's devastating. And I was hoping tony would fill that void with you gone but doesn't. I find more and more reasons to not like him everyday. And I think about how it would be different if it were you. But I know like your family hates me. So I know. But I miss you. And I love you. Do you understand fully what she is saying? She accepts NO BLAME AT ALL! She will use the excuse "now you hate me....you can't get over what I did to you...your parents hate me..." "I was hoping tony would fill that void with you gone but doesn't." She is guilt tripping you into taking her back after she got boned by Tony. She had her fun...now its back to good old BeachWrangler who I think I can manipulate even though I had Tony's schlong in my mug... SHE SPELLED OUT TO YOU SHE HAD YOU ON THE BACKBURNER!!!! Do yourself a favor....believe her! How do you feel about the possibilty of tasting Tony's dick every time you kiss her? Take her back and find out. I am being harsh with you because its time for you to put your man pants on and get rid of this trollop!
EgoJoe Posted November 3, 2011 Posted November 3, 2011 I agree with Spaceritual. I think you should respond to that last text with, "LOL." and then change your number. You the man BW! Don't accept anything less than the treatment you deserve.
lovelypretty Posted November 3, 2011 Posted November 3, 2011 The best thing that you can do right now is to move on even though it hurts you so bad. Don't waste your time with such a kind of girl. For sure, time will come, she will realize your worth. Make yourself busy for you to be able to forget her. I know that it is not that easy to forget her especially you are committed with her before for two years. Look for a friend by online dating. http://www.loveme.ph is one of the most trusted dating site that offers registration for free. I'm sure you will enjoy this kind of dating.
skibum Posted November 3, 2011 Posted November 3, 2011 I know how you feel bud, my ex of 5.5 years dated a new guy after less than a month and was already saying the I love yous that soon after. Use that to get over her, when I found it out I thought so much less of her. If she is not independent enough to be single and is that emotionally unstable then I want nothing to do with her. She is not the same girl you dated and it is better this happened now that down the road when you were more recovered and had a bigger setback. PS my exs new relationship lasted less than 2 months and then she was back to calling me and there is not a chance in hell I will be someones backup or second place just because a new fling doesnt work out.
Author beachwrangler Posted November 3, 2011 Author Posted November 3, 2011 Thank you for all the advice and reading all my posts. Posting my thoughts really helps me to keep up with NC. So she texted me today telling me she ended it with Tony and their friendship as well. Told me she didn't want to jump into things with me. Said she did want to work on things with us but just to take it slow. I can agree with her that it would be best to take it slow to ensure we wouldn't rush into the same relationship but I think in my best interests is to just forgive her and move on.
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