eleanorhurting Posted October 28, 2011 Posted October 28, 2011 So this has been a good week and I just wanted to share it. I started my psychiatry rotation which I love so far. (i am a medical student) I went to my therapist again on monday and it was great. I cried alot we talked about all my codependency issues which are hard to talk about but it is important to finally face them. She told me I have good hair. That was a plus. I rescheduled my exam that I failed. January 20 here we come! I started ballet lessons on Tuesday and so far so good. Getting high on the endorphins and I finally can say I have a hobby that isn't studying, posting on here or letting my life be ruled by the bravo network. I am still NC! Sometimes I feel really sad and I cry but I just try to feel it and know that one day I will be so strong that the person that I am now can't even imagine the strong person I will become. Its like ballet. I used to dance a long time ago and I am soo sore and stretching and everything feels horrible. But I know that from here to a couple of months it will be worth it. I am still strugging to get used to being single and not having someone in my life and I long for it But I know no one will want the me I am right now. I need to be able to be on my own and heal everything. And wow do I have alot of wounds. But every day they hurt a little less. (but they still hurt) Plus I am getting crushes! I have a huge crush on a resident and I bumped into him and wow... (I sound like a little girl I know). I almost want to open my facebook account and stalk him to see if he has a girlfriend(but I wont. I am strong now). Anyway I know I probably will relapse at some point but I just want there to be record of this high for when I am low. Its almost November and soon there will be "joined in NOvember" people around here. Look at me! I have been here since Feb! 1 big breakup in December 2010 and then a failed attempt at dating when I wasnt ready that ended recently and was like a huge pile of salt on the wound. Not to mention the horrific other attempts at dating in between. Yet,I am moving forward somehow. You guys can too! ugh im going to go study/watch Millionaire matchmaker. stay strong kiddies!
mike588 Posted October 28, 2011 Posted October 28, 2011 So glad to hear it, keep up the good work and all my best to you!! Anytime you relapse were here for you!
perfectlyflawed459 Posted October 28, 2011 Posted October 28, 2011 (edited) So so happy to hear you are doing better Hey my break up happened in December 2010 too, I can't believe it has almost been a year! Him and I have been off and on contact since then and gone through periods of hatred and everything in between haha. He did reach out to me and we did confess that we missed each other, so we tried seeing each other again, but I don't believe the timing was right between us due to certain curcumstances. I started NC a month ago and I feel very accomplished. I think this complete separation will be good for both of us. I still miss him and I did cry the other day, but like you, I do feel like I am moving forward very well over all. I have definitely become a more positive person and I do learn not to take things for granted. I am the same, currently not looking for another guy but I am enjoying meeting new people everyday and receiving the attention of many new guys. Right now, friendships are nice. It gives a good confidence boost. I want to start singing lessons soon, so I cannot wait till I finally have time to do so! I have always loved watching ballet and wished I would have stayed in it as a kid. Again, I am glad to hear you are doing well! I hope each day gets better and better for you! Edited October 28, 2011 by perfectlyflawed459
leoc1973 Posted October 28, 2011 Posted October 28, 2011 Its so much easier for pretty girls. You do get that ego boost on a daily basis. Yeah I guess I am not bad looking but as a guy the only women that hit on you are 50 year old cougars! lol I don't really care about meeting a girlfriend right now I am gonna enjoy the single life for a while and just be alone! The sting from the breakup is starting to go away and the feeling of just being left alone feels so great sometimes. Don't get me wrong I love having someone to love me but at the same time its playoff time and Football season! Something that in the past I was forced to pass up. Now I can hang out with friends and watch a game on Sundays where in the past I might have had to go to breakfast or lunch or brunch or a late lunch or shopping(for her of course) or her dads, on and on and on and on. Anything to steal my happiness that I got from hanging out with the guys and watchin a damn football game. Its so so nice now!!! But I have been on here for quite some time and reading a few of your stories and its nice to hear that you gals are starting to be happy again! Good for you!!
Bobby289 Posted October 28, 2011 Posted October 28, 2011 Ha yeah ego boosts are nice but its only a skin deep compliment, doesn't come close to someone who knows you at a deeper level. Glad everyone is doing good though. Don't fall into anything before you are 100% ready and over it, you came this far no reason to go back now
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