henderson14 Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 I met this girl off online and I usually get a hug before the date and after. With this girl nothing. I think our date went decent. No awkward silences or anything. At the end of the date she also said "it was nice meeting you." Which I feel is a way of saying she's not interested. I'm not sure what to think or whether to call her again. I think she might just be standoffish.
rightfield Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 No thank you at all? Not even a text message later? Move on.... NEXT!
ptp Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 Sounds like you got used for a free meal....sorry bud. Best thing is to move on.
Stung Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 If I went out with somebody and had a nice conversation but felt mutual SPARK, I would expect there to be a show of some interest on both parts--a hug, an awkward kiss goodbye, some kind of mention of seeing each other again, checking to make sure the other person had the right contact info, a follow-up call or text, something. If there was nothing but a formal "it was nice meeting you" with zero accompanying touch, well, that sounds like a closing door to me. Even if she's just stiff and stand-offish, is that what you want, somebody who can't express any feeling? Someone who won't thank you for a meal? Those aren't qualities I look for in a mate.
Feelin Frisky Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 It ain't happening. She would have shown a little something if she was interested. Sorry. It happens.
kiss_andmakeup Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 She's not "standoffish." She's a rude b*tch. Next!
Pierre Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 I met this girl off online and I usually get a hug before the date and after. With this girl nothing. I think our date went decent. No awkward silences or anything. At the end of the date she also said "it was nice meeting you." Which I feel is a way of saying she's not interested. I'm not sure what to think or whether to call her again. I think she might just be standoffish. Why do you date strangers? Why not date someone you know?
ShannonMI Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 I met this girl off online and I usually get a hug before the date and after. With this girl nothing. I think our date went decent. No awkward silences or anything. At the end of the date she also said "it was nice meeting you." Which I feel is a way of saying she's not interested. I'm not sure what to think or whether to call her again. I think she might just be standoffish. Yeah she is definitely not interested. Sorry about that. Do yourself a favor and don't call her again.
ffw Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 Why do you date strangers? Why not date someone you know? One can date someone he/she knows. But remember not to do **** where you sleep & eat. If you know what I mean.
Untouchable_Fire Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 She's not "standoffish." She's a rude b*tch. Next! ... It's really common for women to act like this pre/post date. Especially women who don't have tons of dating experience. Yeah she is definitely not interested. Sorry about that. Do yourself a favor and don't call her again. Who says she isn't interested? Based on what? She could have been expecting him to initiate the physical contact. Dating isn't for people easily discouraged. Women act like this on dates all the time and for many different reasons... the best way to figure it out is to just push forward.
ShannonMI Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 ... It's really common for women to act like this pre/post date. Especially women who don't have tons of dating experience. Who says she isn't interested? Based on what? She could have been expecting him to initiate the physical contact. Dating isn't for people easily discouraged. Women act like this on dates all the time and for many different reasons... the best way to figure it out is to just push forward. Based on the fact she didn't THANK him for paying him for her meal. That's just common courtesy and good manners and the girl apparently doesn't even have that. She didn't hug him. I'm not saying she had to kiss him, but you can't give the guy a hug? After he paid for her meal? That's f*cked up. And based on the fact she said "it was nice meeting you." That's another sign she's not interested. If she was interested she would have said something like "wow, I had such a good time, thank you so much for dinner." Even when I'm NOT interested in a guy, I hug him and thank him after the date. It's because I have manners and am a nice girl. The girl didn't do that, so that tells me she isn't interested. Period. OP, please spare yourself the aggrevation and DON'T CALL HER!
Star Gazer Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 Sounds like you got used for a free meal....sorry bud. Best thing is to move on. Women do not use men they're not interested in for a free meal. I suspect she was interested from their online interaction, but upon meeting and talking over dinner, changed her mind. It happens in the gross majority of online dates.
Untouchable_Fire Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 Based on the fact she didn't THANK him for paying him for her meal. That's just common courtesy and good manners and the girl apparently doesn't even have that. She didn't hug him. I'm not saying she had to kiss him, but you can't give the guy a hug? After he paid for her meal? That's f*cked up. And based on the fact she said "it was nice meeting you." That's another sign she's not interested. If she was interested she would have said something like "wow, I had such a good time, thank you so much for dinner." Even when I'm NOT interested in a guy, I hug him and thank him after the date. It's because I have manners and am a nice girl. The girl didn't do that, so that tells me she isn't interested. Period. OP, please spare yourself the aggrevation and DON'T CALL HER! I understand that you would personally act different... but MANY women do this kind of thing and it doesn't mean zero interest. There is no dating rulebook where it says she has to say thank you. In fact she may not even consider it rude to not say that. Most women just expect a guy to pay anyways and saying "thank you" is just a meaningless mechanical motion. Ok... so you do that and give him a fake hug. Good for you, maybe this girl doesn't like to be fake. I say give it a shot and see how things go. What's the worst that could happen?
ffw Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 I think we are only concentating at the end part. To OP, did you see any spark during conversation? A woman says a lot through her body language.
ShannonMI Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 I understand that you would personally act different... but MANY women do this kind of thing and it doesn't mean zero interest. There is no dating rulebook where it says she has to say thank you. In fact she may not even consider it rude to not say that. Most women just expect a guy to pay anyways and saying "thank you" is just a meaningless mechanical motion. Ok... so you do that and give him a fake hug. Good for you, maybe this girl doesn't like to be fake. I say give it a shot and see how things go. What's the worst that could happen? She sounds like an entitled bitch then if she can't even say thank you for a meal. Maybe she is interested. From what the OP said, it doesn't sound like it. I don't give "fake" hugs. When a guy is a gentlemen and takes me out for a dinner, weather I'm interested or not, I hug him. What's wrong with that? Doesn't mean I'm fake. If the guy is a complete douchebag, then he's not getting a hug. Simple as that. There's nothing wrong with not being interested in someone but still being nice enough to give them a parting hug and a thank you. The worst thing that could happen to OP is REJECTION!! If he's ok with rejection, then go for it and call her. My guess is she's going to say, "I wasn't feeling a connection" or I'm not intrested."
ScienceGal Posted October 28, 2011 Posted October 28, 2011 The first "date" I went on with my ex was pretty awkward for me, but that's because I liked him for a while before and I was nervous. I thanked him for hanging out with me (yup.. exact words!) and made a brisk walk to my car. As soon as I got home, I felt like an idiot. And, he thought I wasn't into him. BUT, I paid for my beer (which I always offer to) and I followed up with him to make it clear that I did have a good time and that I was indeed into him. Only you can truly assess what happened here. I would just move on if I were you; however, if you have any inkling that she is just "stand-offish" as you mentioned, then give her a call. Just don't let yourself be used.
Pierre Posted October 28, 2011 Posted October 28, 2011 I met this girl off online and I usually get a hug before the date and after. With this girl nothing. I think our date went decent. No awkward silences or anything. At the end of the date she also said "it was nice meeting you." Which I feel is a way of saying she's not interested. I'm not sure what to think or whether to call her again. I think she might just be standoffish. OK, lets assume she hugged you, thank you and took her wallet out. Does that change anything? It seems she was not into you, Better to know right away than to leave you wandering. Why did you expect her to pay? That is quite awkward.
Author henderson14 Posted October 28, 2011 Author Posted October 28, 2011 OK, lets assume she hugged you, thank you and took her wallet out. Does that change anything? It seems she was not into you, Better to know right away than to leave you wandering. Why did you expect her to pay? That is quite awkward. Actually it would have changed things. I would have thought she had class and was into me. I didn't expect her to pay, just to offer to be polite. She actually did leave me wondering, which is why I am posting on here. I mean the date was not bad. I think she is just a bad dater and that is why she is using online dating. I'm using it also, but I don't have any other ways to meet women outside of bars. It seemed like she had a large social network and college to met guys through.
musemaj11 Posted October 28, 2011 Posted October 28, 2011 I didn't expect her to pay, just to offer to be polite. Why do you want people to pretend to offer you something?
carhill Posted October 28, 2011 Posted October 28, 2011 Yeah, why not just be direct...was it really nice meeting him? OP, IMO, women will move mountains to encourage a man they're attracted to. BTDT enough to know it, and the reverse; even a 'shy' woman. This is a good enough reason for first dates/meets to be casual and low cost, especially resulting from OLD encounters. Ask a few more and compare. The one who moves mountains will be obvious. Of course, we won't see a thread about her.
Pierre Posted October 28, 2011 Posted October 28, 2011 Actually it would have changed things. I would have thought she had class and was into me. I think that if a woman is not interested is best to know right away. Do yu agree? Maybe you are looking at this from your wounded ego? Don't worry about your ego. I didn't expect her to pay, just to offer to be polite. She actually did leave me wondering, which is why I am posting on here. I mean the date was not bad. I think she is just a bad dater and that is why she is using online dating. I understand paying up for a date that was a dead end. But, don't look at it that way. Assume you will always pay for that 1st date and don't do the "what if". Furthermore, a large number of women in this forum have stated that if they really like a man they let him pay for dinner. If they do not like the man they insist on paying. She could very well be a bad dater and was simply awkward. That is the problem with OLD. That is why I recommend dating women that you know are into you. Therefore, when you ask for a date you are quite certain to do OK. In any event there is a chance she was impressed and you should call again. If she says no, move on.
alphamale Posted October 28, 2011 Posted October 28, 2011 I met this girl off online and I usually get a hug before the date and after. With this girl nothing. I think our date went decent. No awkward silences or anything. At the end of the date she also said "it was nice meeting you." Which I feel is a way of saying she's not interested. I'm not sure what to think or whether to call her again. I think she might just be standoffish. don't call her again
Author henderson14 Posted October 28, 2011 Author Posted October 28, 2011 I'm thinking i'm going to call her again and just assume she won't return it. I mean what do I have to lose? I'll never see her again. Thats one of the few positives about online dating. Plus i've never been turned down for a second date so I'm making the bet that she just is a bad dater.
alphamale Posted October 28, 2011 Posted October 28, 2011 I mean what do I have to lose? your dignity?
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