superchiefs Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 I have been dating the same girl for 4 months now. For the first 3 and a half months, everything was awesome. We started having sex about a month in to the relationship, and we were going at it like rabbits. However, we have only done it 1 time in the past 2 weeks. I asked my girlfriend about it and she said that she has just been under a lot of stress lately with school, work and finding out her sister is pregnant. She then said that if it is a problem, then she can just lay there and I can do my thing until I am satisfied. She said she is madly in love with me, plans to marry me, but it is just that sex is not that important to her. She thinks I have a high sex drive and that hers is no where near mine. So is this a sign that things could be coming to an end?
flitzanu Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 sorry, but this whole thing just sounds like you're young. if that's the case, then you're putting WAY too much thought into it. regardless, sex does not define your relationship. at least, it shouldn't.
Author superchiefs Posted October 27, 2011 Author Posted October 27, 2011 sorry, but this whole thing just sounds like you're young. if that's the case, then you're putting WAY too much thought into it. regardless, sex does not define your relationship. at least, it shouldn't. I am actually not very young. And I agree, sex doesnt define my relationship, but it is a part of it. On my last relationship, sex was the first thing to go. We were down to doing it about once a month when she dropped the bomb on me that she wanted to break our engagment off and find herself.
honeydrip Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 I don't know, but it definitely sounds like you two aren't sexually compatible. I think sex is very important in a relationship. So for myself I'd have to find someone that has the same sex drive as myself.
wilsonx Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 I knew this thread was coming... Im pretty sure the rest of the older group of people from back 5 months ago knew this thread was coming too. Lets just say rebounds are fun
Chi townD Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 I wouldn't rule this relationship as over. There could be a number of reasons her sex drive has dropped. If she started birth control, that can screw up her sex drive. Stresses within her life could be another. The fact that her sister ended up pregnant might have freaked her out.....could be be a number of reasons. You really need to communicate with her and get to the core of the problem. Be open and put all of the cards out on the table. And be completely transparent and open.
geegirl Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 Everything Wilson said. I am still weirded out by, "I can just lay there and you can do what you need to get yourself satisfied." Cringe.
honeydrip Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 Everything Wilson said. I am still weirded out by, "I can just lay there and you can do what you need to get yourself satisfied." Cringe. :laugh:I felt the same reading that. As a woman, that just screams just not that into you. Like if a man did that to me, I'd be pretty turned-off.
Author superchiefs Posted October 27, 2011 Author Posted October 27, 2011 I wouldn't rule this relationship as over. There could be a number of reasons her sex drive has dropped. If she started birth control, that can screw up her sex drive. Stresses within her life could be another. The fact that her sister ended up pregnant might have freaked her out.....could be be a number of reasons. You really need to communicate with her and get to the core of the problem. Be open and put all of the cards out on the table. And be completely transparent and open. I am glad you dont think the relationship is over yet because I really love this girl. She has been on the same birth control for a very long time, so I know that isnt it. But the stresses in her life are what she said is causing it. She also said I shouldnt look at the past 2 weeks as a reflection of the entire relationship. I dont think her sister's pregnancy freaked her out, but she is her sister's nanny, so when her sister has the baby, she will then be responsible for taking care of 2 children that are under the age of 2. I did put all the cards on the table, telling her that I was concerned about the past 2 weeks and that is when she told me that if I had sexual needs that werent being fulfilled, that I just needed to tell her and that she would lay there and let me fulfill them. I told her that I would not feel right about that. And then she just said to give her some time and that things would get better after her life calmed down a bit.
honeydrip Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 I thought sex was supposed to relieve stress? So every time life gets stressful that's going to mean no sex for you unless you want her to lay there like a cold dead fish. I still say you two are not compatible sexually which in the long run is something you should probably think about if you can deal with if you plan on being with her long-term. I just couldn't deal.
NordicStripes Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 sorry, but this whole thing just sounds like you're young. if that's the case, then you're putting WAY too much thought into it. regardless, sex does not define your relationship. at least, it shouldn't. Well said!
Author superchiefs Posted October 27, 2011 Author Posted October 27, 2011 I thought sex was supposed to relieve stress? So every time life gets stressful that's going to mean no sex for you unless you want her to lay there like a cold dead fish. I still say you two are not compatible sexually which in the long run is something you should probably think about if you can deal with if you plan on being with her long-term. I just couldn't deal. I dont think that is always the case. I have been with some girls in the past and had the condom break and those were some of the most stressful times of my life. And yeah, from the way it sounds, every time life gets stressful, it will mean no sex for me. As for not being sexually compatiable, it seemed like we were compatiable the first couple of months. There were nights where we did it all night long. She said she has never been with a guy like me that can keep right on going while having an orgasm and then have another one. I had always assumed all guys could do this sort of thing because all my friends said they could. She said every other guy she has been with has had to recharge for at least 30 minutes in between.
wilsonx Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 Your relationship is toast. You have no concept of reality. Absolutely none. You are also lying to yourself. You ask the question, then when us wise people tell you the right answer, you deny it when deep down inside you know it. Read the last set of threads you started. Is My Relationship a Rebound? Was the last one I remember. Then you had another one about your ex's postings on facebook. All these new people here with recent join dates just make assumptions based on what you post now. You post as a victim instead of accepting reality and being honest to yourself. Your relationship is a rebound, Im pretty sure you are a rebound of her too. She's distancing herself from you both emotionally and physically. "The Stress" blah blah blah.
honeydrip Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 Your relationship is toast. You have no concept of reality. Absolutely none. You are also lying to yourself. You ask the question, then when us wise people tell you the right answer, you deny it when deep down inside you know it. Read the last set of threads you started. Is My Relationship a Rebound? Was the last one I remember. Then you had another one about your ex's postings on facebook. All these new people here with recent join dates just make assumptions based on what you post now. You post as a victim instead of accepting reality and being honest to yourself. Your relationship is a rebound, Im pretty sure you are a rebound of her too. She's distancing herself from you both emotionally and physically. "The Stress" blah blah blah. Well WOW, this actually brings things to a whole new light! Not knowing OP's history, I still stand on what I said before, "she's just not that into you". I also was thinking that he was older and I was speaking from experience of being in very long-term relationships with men where sex is supposed to relieve stress not compound it.
Author superchiefs Posted October 27, 2011 Author Posted October 27, 2011 Your relationship is toast. You have no concept of reality. Absolutely none. You are also lying to yourself. You ask the question, then when us wise people tell you the right answer, you deny it when deep down inside you know it. Read the last set of threads you started. Is My Relationship a Rebound? Was the last one I remember. Then you had another one about your ex's postings on facebook. All these new people here with recent join dates just make assumptions based on what you post now. You post as a victim instead of accepting reality and being honest to yourself. Your relationship is a rebound, Im pretty sure you are a rebound of her too. She's distancing herself from you both emotionally and physically. "The Stress" blah blah blah. So what should I do now?
Author superchiefs Posted October 27, 2011 Author Posted October 27, 2011 Well WOW, this actually brings things to a whole new light! Not knowing OP's history, I still stand on what I said before, "she's just not that into you". I also was thinking that he was older and I was speaking from experience of being in very long-term relationships with men where sex is supposed to relieve stress not compound it. I hear what you are saying that she is just not that in to me. However, if she is not that in to me, why does she constantly send me emails and constantly call me? To me, that makes it seem like she is constantly thinking about me. But does that mean she just wants to be a very good friend to me and possibly just doesnt want to be with me romantically? She hasnt said those things, but I know that girls tend to keep what they are really feeling inside. I have a long history of having girls break up with me without giving me a reason. So that is why I am very concerned about this happening again.
flitzanu Posted October 31, 2011 Posted October 31, 2011 I have a long history of having girls break up with me without giving me a reason. So that is why I am very concerned about this happening again. and sometimes you have to pay attention to what the common denominator is in these situations.
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