This is a big FU to the people who said i'm not good enough for a man I want...

[Els]

But then what is a woman good for? If you can hire a chef, a maid and a prostitute, then what is left for your girlfriend?

 

Oh, dearie me. If that girlfriend is you, nothing, I suppose.

[Ilovewater]

I have the same mentality as you do, azsinglegal. The problem is parents don't raise their kids like that anymore. I am part of this "new generation" where chivalry doesn't exist. That's why it's so difficult for me to find a man like this.

 

The older men I have dated were like this, and I really enjoyed and liked it. But because they were older they came with baggage (ex wives, kids). I tried dating younger men, but I come across this problem here.

 

Then you're looking at the wrong men. "Chivalry" does still exist. I've never had a problem finding men who are "gentlemanly". I'm in my early 20's, and all of the guys I've dated are around my age. I don't think it's that uncommon. You either have unrealistic expectations that drive most men away, or you're just not good at choosing men.

[Dorie]

Women get equality during the workday and then expect chivalry at night?

 

That is a suckers game and less and less are willing to play it.

 

Anyway, I don't think you should be attacked by your views, I just don't agree with them.

 

Based on the title of this thread alone, it appears to be the OP who is starting a squabble.

[AD1980]

There is nothing wrong with wanting a man with money.

 

No but you seem to just want to use a man for his money at the same time have him be a 10 while you claim love is not an option and both of you are just using the other

 

You're entitled to your wants and needs no matter how crazy they are but dont expect to be a sympathetic figure if you cant get what you want

 

Its horrible economic times and were headed to another recession people arel osign their jobs homes etc quite frankly you stomping up and down and demanding a wealthy man right now comes off to put it nicely as completely selfish and out of touch with reality and whats going on in the world

 

try putting things in perspetive once in awhile, its tough times out there the world doesnt owe you your fairy tale

[Mme. Chaucer]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mme. Chaucer

And, the barter you offer is not equitable or reasonable. Your services can be purchased with ease, without any obligation beyond a one-time payment.

 

You're right. If you have money you can buy these things.

 

But then what is a woman good for? If you can hire a chef, a maid and a prostitute, then what is left for your girlfriend?

 

Okay. You really need to work on developing yourself, or you are probably going to have a really disappointing (if not miserable) life.

 

Or, you are a creative troll.

[oaks]

You're right. If you have money you can buy these things.

 

But then what is a woman good for? If you can hire a chef, a maid and a prostitute, then what is left for your girlfriend?

 

Rhymes with dove.

[Ilovewater]

There is nothing wrong with wanting a man with money.

 

Sure, but it's wrong if the only thing you want in a man is money. What's considered a man with money for you anyways? What's your cut-off? A single guy who makes 6 digits? For a single guy, anything more than 80k/year is really good.... You don't even need to make that much for both of you to be well-off together.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Women get equality during the workday and then expect chivalry at night?

 

 

I know you will argue … but I promise you that chivalry and equality are not mutually exclusive.

 

That being said, what the OP is expecting out of a "relationship" does not fall into the category of "chivalry."

 

ptp, as you can see by reading LS regularly, it takes all kinds. There are plenty of men here who enjoy, and do not feel like a "sucker" for paying for dates. There are lots of men who don't enjoy it, and there are those who feel like a "sucker" if they do it. And, of course, there are women who enjoy and respond positively (no, I don't mean they'll "repay" with sex) to the traditional paradigm, and then there are those who are users and taking advantage of a guy.

 

My advice is to take the route that you feel comfortable with, but to try to avoid bitterness.

[Sabian]

You go on one date where the guy paid for the meal and suddenly you've validated your shallowness? Minimum wage guys pay for everything too. How do you even know this guy likes you that much. Or do you just assume because you're so damn hot right?

 

The guy could've been very turned off by your attitude and just figured that he could easily get you in bed, and then be done with you. Hell, I'd think about doing that just to make up for all the guys you **** on.

 

 

I suggest you become an escort. It sounds like a dream for you. You'll get multiple rich old dudes who continue to hire you to come be pretty and stupid. Perfect right?

 

 

Who the hell raised you? Anna Nichole Smith?

[FrustratedStandards]

How old are you? The man you went out with was 34, which is a year older then my BF. I'm 38.

 

At 34 yrs old - that's not part of a "new generation" that's still part of my generation I believe.

 

Which leads me to believe you might have unrealistic expectations on men or are coming across in a way that doesn't give them the opportunity to be a gentleman.

 

You seem a bit abrasive and unwilling to compromise. Maybe it's not the men you are dating who aren't meeting your standards but it's that your standards aren't logical? Food for thought.

 

I'm 27. Maybe my people picker is more off than I thought...

 

A man doesn't need opportunity to be a gentleman. He just does nice things. How can you possibly "block" that?

[FrustratedStandards]

Sure, but it's wrong if the only thing you want in a man is money. What's considered a man with money for you anyways? What's your cut-off? A single guy who makes 6 digits? For a single guy, anything more than 80k/year is really good.... You don't even need to make that much for both of you to be well-off together.

 

Make as much as I do, or more.

 

You go on one date where the guy paid for the meal and suddenly you've validated your shallowness? Minimum wage guys pay for everything too. How do you even know this guy likes you that much. Or do you just assume because you're so damn hot right?

 

The guy could've been very turned off by your attitude and just figured that he could easily get you in bed, and then be done with you. Hell, I'd think about doing that just to make up for all the guys you **** on.

 

 

Who said I slept with him?

[Eve]

OP, I hope you do find happiness and get smitten enough to desire being with someone whom you will take crazy risks with becasue you could not be without them. Then all the weird stuff said will not, in the long run, matter.

 

H'mmm.. I only agree with you about the man paying on dates thing but the rest is way too harsh. Be careful.

 

However I do hope it all works out for you. If not, look closer to home. We all have to revise our beliefs. Maybe getting what you want at the moment will in the end be your way of revising the darker elements of what you are saying? Like finds like. Maybe you have to experience rejection based on superficial aspects too?

 

Seriously, be careful what you do. That **** hurts. Some never recover.

 

I have said it once, I will say it again. Girl, you may end up missing the boat.

 

Take care,

Eve x

[azsinglegal]

I'm 27. Maybe my people picker is more off than I thought...

 

A man doesn't need opportunity to be a gentleman. He just does nice things. How can you possibly "block" that?

 

I believe a man will be good to you if he views you as being worthy of it. And by that, I mean, being a good woman to him.

 

What that means to everyone is different.

 

It's OK to want a man to be financially stable...but probably NOT what you want to bring up on the first, second or even third date. Those conversations are better off after you've established you like him and he likes you.

 

After 7 months, I still have no idea what my BF makes. I don't want to know. But I know he has a house, 2 vehicles and saves his money like mad. I have my own house, vehicle and am horrible at saving money.

 

It all depends on what you want out of the relationship. I want a friend, lover, companion, gym partner and someone who puts up with just enough of my BS but calls me on it too.

[Lucky_One]

Again it's not about the price, but the fact that he was gentlemanly enough to treat me to a dinner.

 

I'm not ENTITLED (as many say) to this, but it's the gesture. It made me feel like such a lady. He fed me. I appreciated this so much.

 

Him paying on a first date is this big of a deal? I have NEVER been on a first date where the man didn't pay.

 

If I were you, I'd be sending out a big FU to all the other twits that you went on first dates with that didn't pay.

 

One, two, or even three dates don't yet constitute a "I have got the man I wanted, that you said I couldn't get" thread. Come back and post after he asks you to move in. And then I will bend over for the FU.

[Woggle]

You go on what seems to be a great date and all you can seem to do is say FU to everybody. You come across as very bitter.

 

Anyway I hope it works out for you.

[phillyfan]

I have the same mentality as you do, azsinglegal. The problem is parents don't raise their kids like that anymore. I am part of this "new generation" where chivalry doesn't exist. That's why it's so difficult for me to find a man like this.

 

The older men I have dated were like this, and I really enjoyed and liked it. But because they were older they came with baggage (ex wives, kids). I tried dating younger men, but I come across this problem here.

 

Dude seriusly, where u lookin 4 men? Me n my buddies we aint rich we aint old, were young but we all act nice wit girls we take out - we always pay, be a gent, open doors, collect d girl from home is she wants it, get her home safe, its just a normal way of datin, we dont act diffrent (FBs r diffrent tho LOL ). But yea, i dont get why u r so crazy happy ova the dude payin 4 dinner or thinkin only old dudes act like gents, dudes ur age act like tht sounds like u r lookin in all d wrong places or mayb its d way u act on dates stops the dudes wantin 2 pay or somthin.

[mr_sexxxy]

The situation is quite simple: OP is not attractive enough to find a wealthy, physically attractive man, at least not without considerable, even extra-ordinary effort.

 

The dating market will quickly establish what's available to you, and what is not.

 

Let's say you have $5K to spend. Your chances of purchasing a new Bentley at that price are low, close to zero. But, you can readily find a 97 civic at that price.

 

A 19 year old supermodel with an ivy league degree can easily date a young, attractive, wealthy man. But a woman in her late twenties of middling attractiveness will not have the same opportunities.

 

OP can desire whatever she wants, but GETTING it is a different matter. It all depends on what she has to offer; which in this case, is not as much as she's asking.

[Art_Critic]

A 19 year old supermodel with an ivy league degree can easily date a young, attractive, wealthy man. But a woman in her late twenties of middling attractiveness will not have the same opportunities.

 

You might want to tell Melinda Gates that...

She was 30 when she married the richest man in the world....

[Feelin Frisky]

Again it's not about the price, but the fact that he was gentlemanly enough to treat me to a dinner.

 

I'm not ENTITLED (as many say) to this, but it's the gesture. It made me feel like such a lady. He fed me. I appreciated this so much.

 

You're one of the few who understand Pierre. Out of curiousity, why is a man such as yourself single?

 

What, men don't treat women to dinners where you come from? I've never dutched an early date in my life. Treating is standard (unless I haven't gotten the memo). Glad you had a good time otherwise. I don't know who you think is mean around here but I hope I've given no reason to be included in that list.

[mr_sexxxy]

You might want to tell Melinda Gates that...

She was 30 when she married the richest man in the world....

 

Bill Gates is not good looking.

[mr_sexxxy]

What, men don't treat women to dinners where you come from? I've never dutched an early date in my life. Treating is standard (unless I haven't gotten the memo). Glad you had a good time otherwise. I don't know who you think is mean around here but I hope I've given no reason to be included in that list.

 

Yeah, I don't go dutch either, the woman usually pays.

 

It really comes down to how much value you bring: the OP does not bring enough value to get what she wants. She either has to increase her value or seek out less.

[InJest]

FS, stop ducking the request for a picture of yourself and how much money you make. You can end the discussion here and now, by showing us you're as good looking as you claim. And if you're gonna lie and show us a fake picture, make sure it's believable.

[mr_sexxxy]

She's not going to post a picture. And she's probably mid 30's rather than late twenties. She's probably lying about a lot of other things, too.

 

This is the internet; let her create whatever online persona she wants to: neither her fake internet identity nor her real life looks and personality will get her what she wants.

 

She will have to put in some work in terms of upgrading her appearance and MASSIVE time and effort in upgrading her personality and outlook on life, especially other people.

[Art_Critic]

FS, stop ducking the request for a picture of yourself and how much money you make. You can end the discussion here and now, by showing us you're as good looking as you claim. And if you're gonna lie and show us a fake picture, make sure it's believable.

 

That's a ridiculous request...

This is an anonymous forum and people don't have to show pictures of themselves and show a W-2 form of their wages to be posting here.

I'm guessing then that since she doesn't post a picture then you have to believe that she is ugly and poor ?

Seriously ?

What about posting your W-2 ??

[azsinglegal]

That's a ridiculous request...

This is an anonymous forum and people don't have to show pictures of themselves and show a W-2 form of their wages to be posting here.

I'm guessing then that since she doesn't post a picture then you have to believe that she is ugly and poor ?

Seriously ?

What about posting your W-2 ??

 

I wouldn't go that far...but probably not as attractive as you all think she is and probably doesn't make as much money as she claims. At 27, even if she's a doctor, she isn't making that much.