nicolep1016 Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 Last weekend, I met up with this guy I've been talking to for about a month. I was a nervous wreck thinking he wouldn't like me but forced myself to meet up with him because I like him a lot. Everything went well and after I left, he texted me and told me that he thought I was very attractive. He asked me if I want to start seeing each other exclusively. I asked him when and he said our next date which is this Saturday. I said yes and thought that everything was good. From that point forward, I have barely heard from him. He used to text me A LOT and now I maybe get 3 texts a day. When I text him back, he won't always answer. Every night he used to say good night and that doesn't happen anymore either. I asked him the other day if everything was ok because I said I hardly ever hear from him anymore. He told me that I was overreacting? He said that he runs a business and I can text him too. I do text him but he seems uninterested in the conversation. He does run several businesses so obviously I understand that he is very busy. My problem is if he is so busy then why did he have time to send me 20+ texts a day before and not now? He used to call me everyday too. If he were extra busy this week, wouldn't you just say that? If you don't even have time to text someone, then how are you going to have a relationship? I don't expect 20 texts a day either. I just want a little more acknowledgment. Am I really just overreacting? I am a single parent of 2 kids and am super busy but I always make time if I care about someone. The best part is, the first few weeks that we started talking, if I didn't answer him right away, he would get pissy with me. He then apologized and said he thought I didn't like him anymore. The problem is that I really really like him. He is successful and very sweet. He even offered to give me a job since I have been out of work. Does it sound like he is losing interest?
Emilia Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 What did you say to him exactly when you mentioned the decrease in contact to him? You said he is sweet but his saying you were overreacting because he is very busy isn't sweet as such. Of course people do get busier and more stressed from time to time and maybe he really needs to focus on what he is doing. Perhaps the 20+ texts got him into trouble, that's definitely a possibility. I think the key is how frequently he wants to see you and whether he keeps his word and arrange dates or whether he flakes.
Leegh Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 I think it's too early to think he's losing interest, he's probably just busy with work. I would limit the texts (but make it very clear that you do want to see him again). One problem with a lot of texting early on in a relationship is that it leaves very little mystery, and also you want to have something to talk about on the date. It's not good to be in constant contact with a prospective boyfriend in the early stages.
Author nicolep1016 Posted October 27, 2011 Author Posted October 27, 2011 What did you say to him exactly when you mentioned the decrease in contact to him? You said he is sweet but his saying you were overreacting because he is very busy isn't sweet as such. Of course people do get busier and more stressed from time to time and maybe he really needs to focus on what he is doing. Perhaps the 20+ texts got him into trouble, that's definitely a possibility. I think the key is how frequently he wants to see you and whether he keeps his word and arrange dates or whether he flakes. I said, "I haven't heard from you a lot. Are you sure everything is OK?" He replied, "Babe I'm just working. You can text me also. I run a business sweety." Putting babe and sweety in there doesn't make this nice, in my opinion. Obviously, I know he runs a business so to me, I thought that was rude. On the flip side, he gets very lttle sleep so I'm sure he is exhausted. He works 12 hr days, 6 days a week. This brings me back to my other question which is how is he supposed to have a relationship? Especially, if he can't text in that time and has one day off. He does say he can't wait to see me and stuff like that. I agree with you, Leegh, the 20 texts a day was too much.
Emilia Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 My favourite saying is 'when there is a will, there is a way'. You are a single mum with 2 kids, he is a hard working business man, it's hard to see which one of you is busier as yours is a 24-hour job (even if you can get a baby sitter). Maybe he can sometimes delegate to others if he really wants to? Give it a chance and see. I think he is just a little stressed, he probably knew you would expect that sort of contact rate and he couldn't keep it going
bittersweet memories Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 Last weekend, I met up with this guy I've been talking to for about a month. I was a nervous wreck thinking he wouldn't like me but forced myself to meet up with him because I like him a lot. Everything went well and after I left, he texted me and told me that he thought I was very attractive. He asked me if I want to start seeing each other exclusively. I asked him when and he said our next date which is this Saturday. I said yes and thought that everything was good. From that point forward, I have barely heard from him. He used to text me A LOT and now I maybe get 3 texts a day. When I text him back, he won't always answer. Every night he used to say good night and that doesn't happen anymore either. I asked him the other day if everything was ok because I said I hardly ever hear from him anymore. He told me that I was overreacting? He said that he runs a business and I can text him too. I do text him but he seems uninterested in the conversation. He does run several businesses so obviously I understand that he is very busy. My problem is if he is so busy then why did he have time to send me 20+ texts a day before and not now? He used to call me everyday too. If he were extra busy this week, wouldn't you just say that? If you don't even have time to text someone, then how are you going to have a relationship? I don't expect 20 texts a day either. I just want a little more acknowledgment. Am I really just overreacting? I am a single parent of 2 kids and am super busy but I always make time if I care about someone. The best part is, the first few weeks that we started talking, if I didn't answer him right away, he would get pissy with me. He then apologized and said he thought I didn't like him anymore. The problem is that I really really like him. He is successful and very sweet. He even offered to give me a job since I have been out of work. Does it sound like he is losing interest? This is someone you've only been seeing for 1 month. That is still considered the honeymoon phase. So maybe he is loosing interest. It also depends how often does HE make an effort to see you?
Author nicolep1016 Posted October 27, 2011 Author Posted October 27, 2011 We have only seen each other once. Right after we met last weekend, he asked me when he could see me again. After that, I haven't heard from him much. When I text him, he just seems like he doesn't want to be bothered. I'm not texting him anymore. If he wants to talk to me, then he can text me. The thing that annoys me the most is that when he does text me and I answer him, I won't hear from him again that day. It's like, if you can't finish a conversation, then don't start one. I will let him take the lead from now on.
Author nicolep1016 Posted October 27, 2011 Author Posted October 27, 2011 I can't believe this. This is so frustrating. I didn't text him all morning and he texts me and says, are you ok? So I said yes. I told him that he seemed busy this week so I was just giving him a little space. Then he texts me back "oh...". I said there is nothing wrong with that, is there? Then nothing back. I feel like I can't win. First he tells me that he is busy running a business and then when I say I'm giving him space to get work done, he doesn't answer me. Why should I text him, if he won't respond half of the time? Am I wrong?
Leegh Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 One of the problems with texting and e-mail (for anyone) is that one cannot tell the tone of the person's voice, for example, if something was said in a serious tone or in a humorous way. I would limit texting with him as much as possible, until if and when a relationship is established. Maybe you could just use it now for setting up plans.
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