groovearmada Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 My wife lives overseas. We are in the process of getting her a visa (I had to return to my country and get a job 8 months ago to apply for her visa). We've maintained our relationship on skype, emails, international text messages, facebook, etc. We visited each other in a third country for 10 days during the summer. Lately her mood has changed. She has nothing to say to me on skype. She only sends one or two emails a week now. During a chat session she blew up at me and accused me of things that normally wouldn't bother her. She changed her facebook profile from a wedding photo of the two of us to a photo of her alone in a bikini. She's started being too busy to meet online, and last weekend she promised we could see each other on video, and I woke up early (because of time zones) but she was a no-show. Looked on her facebook and some guy has been putting songs on her wall. He's put at least 5 there in the past week. I went to his profile and the few photos I was allowed to see...my wife has "liked" all of them. One photo was of the two of them dancing together in a nightclub...posted 10 days after our visit together in the summer. I asked her about the guy and told her I was worried, and she accused me of being jealous and controlling. Went online on skype to wait for her today, and she didn't show...but she was online on facebook chat (but not chatting to me). She's normally very loving, kind, dedicated and has traditional cultural and religious views of marriage. She usually showers me with praise. She usually jumps at the chance to meet online and replies to every email I send her. We only have 8 weeks to wait until I go there to be with her. I'm staying until she gets her visa on an "extended vacation". I'm starting to fear she's cheating on me. Am I being paranoid? Or is this behaviour over the line?
KathyM Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 Something is definately wrong there. You are not being paranoid. It sounds like she is developing feelings and interest for this other guy. Sorry. You have good reason to be very concerned. It puts your marriage at a big risk when you are separated for long periods of time. My sister was in a similar situation early in her marriage to her first husband. They were living in the same country, but had to live apart during the week because of work/school schedules. He decided he needed to have a social life at the college during the week, so he joined a dance club at the school. Met a woman whom he cheated with, and later confessed to my sister out of guilt. That was early in their marriage while they were in love with each other. Distance and absence really takes a toll on a marriage, and it sounds like your wife may be going down that same road as my X BIL did. You better have a serious talk with your wife about these concerns, insist on boundaries (no going out to nightclubs or dancing without you, no contacting this other guy), and you should have daily visits on skype. You need to try harder to keep that bond strong and present, and by all means, the sooner you get back together and are able to live together, the safer your relationship will be.
HeavenOrHell Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 It doesn't sound good from what you've said.
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