confusedgirl90 Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 Hey everyone, this is my first time on one of these sites, but I had nobody else to turn to. I have been with my boyfriend steadily for nearly 2 years, but at the start it was always me who was doing the chasing. I left my family to be with him as they didn't approve and since we have been spending more time together, I have noticed a few things. He drinks very heavily, around 6 beers a night, sometimes more and on the weekends he'll do about 9-11 hrs of continuous drinking, he can almost go a whole case to himself a day. Whenever he does something like mowing the lawns, it takes him forever because he is drinking at the same time. It gets to the point where he will leave my place at night to go home and start drinking or he will ask me to pick him up to visit just because he can't drive while h's drinking. I have asked him several times to cut down, not to totally stop but just not drink as much and he says things like you can't control me and stop trying to order me around and it just ends up ina huge argument. He has even said a couple times that if I make him choose between the beer and me, he will choose the beer. He also occaisionally smokes weed, which I am totally against. The second issue is that I suspect he may be gay. Here are the facts, he is very homophobic to the point where we won't go out to the city together (Sydney) because he says it's full of gay people, he openly looks at other guys walking down the street, not girls so much, he uses the word gay as much as possible so it's always on my mind and a few of his neighbours were very surprised when I was introduced as his girlfriend because they believed that he was gay and he admitted that there have been people in his past that have assumed he was. Also, the past couple months our sex life has not been the same. I am usually the one initiating it and he says no alot, he says he's tired but he really doesn't have such a demanding job and when we do have sex (once or twice a fortnight), takes a long time to cum and most of the time he won't which just makes things even worse because then he gets frustrated and leads to an argument. I have tried to spice up or sex life by incorporating outfits, toys, music, food and learning new positions but it just doesn't seem to be enough for him. He recently asked if we could try anal which isn't my thing so I said no, so the only position that he really enjoys is doggystyle! I don't know if I am just being paranoid and overreacting here, but a girl can only take so much rejection! The last issue that I have is his total lack of motivation and ambition. He is in a low paying job and doesn't see himself excelling in the near future even though he has the means to do so. He says that he wants to buy a house with me and marry me and have kids but saying and doing are completely different things. I know he loves me because he has shown it many a time and I would do anything to show that I love him too. I just want to know if it is all worth it. Am I wasting my time, will he ever change. He will be 26 in a couple months and all his friends are engaged, getting married and having babies and while I am only 21 and I am not ready for marriage and babies yet, I would like to know if it will be a possibility in the future. When I ask him when he would like to move in with me all he says is that he is not ready yet. I know this is a big post but I am at my wits end and I just need some help so any feedback or advice would be greatly appreciated. Also, I would love a guys opinion on this so if there are any out there, please say what you think! Thankyou for your time!
SincereOnlineGuy Posted October 28, 2011 Posted October 28, 2011 Is there any chance that YOU represent the 'female form' with whom he is trying to PROVE his non-gayness to others??? (perhaps family members who are more on-edge about it than you are) I certainly can't know for sure, but that angle is worth investigating. Does he bring you around certain (groups of) people more than seems needed??
Author confusedgirl90 Posted October 30, 2011 Author Posted October 30, 2011 yeah i don't know, we're a pretty normal couple, we go out with his friends a few times a month and everything seems fine, it's just that little nagging feeling in the back of my mind! But I suppose there's not much I can do but wait and see, thanks for your reply!
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