Ex cancelled meeting, how to proceed?

[mittk]

So after breaking silence with my ex girlfriend after almost two weeks (she broke it off), I asked her to meet up and she keenly agreed to meet as friends. There was no hesitation on her part, and she seemed genuinely happy to be asked to catch up.

 

She did mention, at the very beginning, that family committments were coming up (which I entirely know about) and, as a consequence, she would be fairly busy for the next two weeks or so. Nevertheless, I proposed three days and she agreed to meet one of those days (yesterday).

 

A few hours before we were supposed to meet, she messages saying she is swamped with work and cancelled the meeting. I replied saying it's fine, and that was that. Haven't heard from her since. Of course, I wasn't fine, but I didn't want to show it.

 

Now, I know she has a lot of things going on at the moment and wasn't lying about the committments (she gave me an exact date when this deadline/committment she has to work for was), but at the same time I am unsure how to read this?

 

What is the best course of action? I really need input.

Wait until her deadline passes and get back in touch with her then (in two weeks or so)?

Or tell her that I won't bother her anymore and that she should message me if she wants to meet? (not a fan of this course of action).

Or forget about her? (not a fan of this either obviously)

 

My response to her cancellation was polite, but maybe dry (I said it was fine and that she should focus on her committments). I don't want to appear too needy or desperate but at the same time she may not be one to come running back if she doesn't hear from me, she tends to shut off sometime.

 

Help?

Edited October 26, 2011 by mittk

[carhill]

Backstory

 

She cancelled. She can reschedule.

 

This is how mature adults behave. Encourage it.

[davesterr]

It really depends.

You say you wanted to meet as friends but are you planning on winning her back or are you ok with just being friends?

 

It sounds like you want her back.

In that case i dont have any real useful advice since u know her better than me.

But if you are cool with just being friends.

In that case dont stress it.

Like carhill said: She canceled and if she wants to meet up then she can reschedule.

[ffw]

I told this more before. She has moved on. Now, its your turn to move on. If she was into you, then she could have reshedule or take the time to meet you.

[mittk]

When I asked her to meet, I asked her if she'd be up for meeting as friends because I didn't want to appear like I was desperate to win her back. Also at that time, I told her I would be near her work over the next week or so, hence it would be a good opportunity to meet this specific week. I don't know if that gave her the message that I was only available to meet this week.

 

Never did I say, "Want to meet sometime?"

 

I only said, "Want to meet next week, since I will be near your work/area?"

 

I don't know how good of a strategy that was, but not once in our correspondence have I suggested I wanted her back, so she may be guessing it, but in no way have I shown that. I was polite, friendly, but diplomatic.

 

On top of that, my reponse to her cancellation was not "if you want to meet up another time, you let me know", but it was just "that's fine, you focus on your work."

 

Does this still mean she has moved on? I also figured she's ask me to reschedule if she really wanted to see me, but part of me clings onto hope...

 

Still, she friggin cancelled, and that bites.

Edited October 26, 2011 by mittk

[davesterr]

dude ur clinging on hope of her rescheduling.

u wonder if she has moved on.

i dont wanna be the bad guy here but if she wanted you back she would've

and the reason she said she was ok with meeting was cuz it was as friends.

that means that even if she does reschedule and meet then it would be only as friends.

 

im not saying u acted desperate or anything but , if you really want to win her back then i personally don't know if just keeping lc is gonna get her back.

if i were u i would either first think this really through.

why did u guys break up , do you even have a chance?

does she still have feelings for you?

if so then you need a way to win her back.

and by that you need a plan.

 

however if she dumped u and is over you and simply is ok with being friends.

then i wouldnt cling on to that hope that much.

i mean you can fight for it or you can let go and move on.

if you feel like fighting for it then go for it.

if ur instincts say theres still hope then im not gonna tell u not to react on it.

 

but if theres not and ur trying to move on but simply just outta no where hoping maybe , just might , possibly.

in that case i dont think trying to meet and stay friends is a good idea.

see right now you might be ok with it.

i mean friends is better than nothing right?

but when she will have a new boyfriend , man will u be crushed when u find out.

i would save myself from that torment and try to move on and avoid while u can.

and when the time is there that u truely are over her and dont desire her in a romantic way anymore then you can be friends again.

 

but like i said if you feel like you still got a shot.

then who is anyone to tell you not to act on it?

just do what feels right.

 

in the end the more u hope the more confidense and strengt ul have but also the more the rejection will hurt.

but if you believe in something then you should give it your all.

i always say: dont do something unless u do it right.

so what ever you choose after this , after u made ur decission , do what you have to do and dont look back.