Article I read called: In defense of lying womanizers, gold diggers, attention seeker

[joystickd]

Many women are very quick to label a number of men "lying womanizers," "dogs," "cheaters," "jerks," and "a**holes." Similarly, many men will not hesitate to categorize a number of women as "attention whores," "gold diggers," "sex teasers," and of course, "bitches." All of this bashing comes from hurt feelings, bruised egos, pent-up frustrations towards the opposite gender, and just plain old bitterness and resentment caused from being repeatedly lied to, misled and manipulated.

 

While some of these subjective labels might have some degree of validity at times, I say it is high time to look at the real culprit: You ... and members of your own gender. That's right. I didn't stutter. I blame you for enabling the deceitful, manipulative behavior of others. "How dare you blame the victim!!" you say. I would much rather say, "I am blaming the enabler."

Case in point: Men refer to women who seek out men with wealth and highly appealing material possessions as "gold diggers," but the reality is, if men would stop trying to impress women with undeserved material gifts, unwarranted financial favors, as well as showing off their new house on the beach or new expensive European car, there would be no such thing as a "gold digger." Don't blame that woman for going after what you are selling.

By the same token, women will brand many men as "dogs" and "cheaters," but the reality is, if all women were only having sex with men who were their husband, live-in companion, fiance' or long-time lover, how could men be guilty of skirt chasing and womanizing? Men can only engage in casual, promiscuous sex with women if there are women allowing themselves to be seduced by men who they have no sense of commitment with.

When you point that finger at the opposite gender in an attempt to direct blame their way, there are three fingers pointing right back at 'ya.

There are a number of reasons why there is so much animosity and distrust between the genders in the 21st Century, but if I had to highlight one of the most prominent reasons, it would be because men lie to women, mislead them and manipulate them ... and likewise ... women lie to men, mislead them and manipulate them. Consequently, members of both genders are left feeling deceived, used, bitter and resentful. All of these manipulative "head games" being employed against each other by men and women is creating a very hostile chasm between the sexes.

What do I define as a manipulative game player?

Here is an example of a non-manipulative interaction:

Boy meets Girl. Boy expresses his romantic and/or sexual desires, interests and intentions to Girl in the most highly self-assured, upfront and straightforwardly honest manner. Girl either a) reciprocates his desires and interests, or b) Girl lets Boy know that her interests are different. The two either hook up, or they go their separate ways. No harm, no foul.

Now, let's add an undertone of manipulation into the mix:

Boy meets Girl. Boy wants to express a desire for a one-night stand, a weekend fling, or 2-3 weeks of casual sex; Boy is scared though, because he is afraid that Girl will have an adverse reaction to a proposition for short-term, non-monogamous sex. Boy believes Girl will curse him out and accuse him of perceiving her as an 'easy lay.'

Girl is not stupid. Girl knows that Boy wants to get in her pants as quickly and effortlessly as possible. But instead of simply telling Boy that she is not interested in casual sex, she decides to 'play' him. She invites Boy to engage in trivial, but entertaining conversation with her repeatedly; She allows Boy to flatter her ego endlessly; She hints to Boy that she wants to be 'wined and dined' at some of the most expensive restaurants around; and she lets Boy know that she only has sex with men who "treat her like a Queen."

End result? Boy invests a lot of time and money trying to impress Girl so he can get laid; Girl leads Boy on to believe he is going to have sex with her, but in reality, Girl actually has absolutely no plans on being intimate with Boy; Boy, out of frustration, makes an aggressive attempt to have sex with Girl that borders on date rape; Girl slaps the sh** out of Boy, and threatens to call the police. Both Boy and Girl end up hating each other.

Sound familiar? I have observed variations of this scenario play out many times.

The manipulative "gamesmanship" serves no one gender well in the long-run. All it does is make men distrust women and call females all sorts of names, and it makes women do the same thing with even more frequency.

Next time you are on the verge of hurling harsh, subjective criticisms towards the opposite sex, I want you to ask yourself this question:

What sort of behavior am I exhibiting that is inviting and/or motivating deceitful or manipulative behavior from members of the opposite sex? Am I as upfront and straightforward with all of my true desires, interests and intentions as I can be?

You might be suprised at the answers.

[AHardDaysNight]

Attraction isn't a choice, but something that is built upon biology, social status, and external factors.

 

What about gay and lesbian relationships? Does this apply to them at all?

 

Bottom line is, everyone reacts differently to situations, and until people realize that, this hate will continue going on.

[Mrlonelyone]

Bravo JoystickD

 

Is there a link to that article? It shows that I am not the only one thinking that the prime people to blame for players playing, and gold diggers diggin are respectively women who go for players, and men who provide the gold to be dug.

 

Then they do the same thing again and again and wonder why it never works out.

[joystickd]

http://www.examiner.com/men-s-dating-advice-in-los-angeles/in-defense-of-lying-womanizers-gold-diggers-attention-seekers-and-other-manipulators

[grkBoy]

How very Freudian.

[AHardDaysNight]

Re-read the OP, and yes there is a lot of truth to this.

[joystickd]

I can't believe someone came on here asking about PUA stuff. 70% of David Deangelo's dating stuff is crap and manipulation. You have to sift though to find something of some value. Attraction is not a choice but when your choices are a pattern of bad relationships its time to find out your reason for attraction and change it. Most of these guy focus on specific nuance of interactions with women. Most nerds myself included love detailed instructions. Yeah I am a nerd I have a BS in computer science, love star wars, star trek (Captain Kirk ultimate alpha male), and anime. I work as a nurse now and my experience in nursing school and working in the nursing profession made me realize its not really that hard to get women. The main thing is you have to cut the bulls**t. If you like her say it and if they want to friend zone move on. You are only friend zoned because you want to be there. There are too many women out here to be worrying about one woman who friend zoned you. If you want sex say it all she can say is yes or no. You men got balls so use them and get out here and meet some women have a good time and get laid but be honest about your intentions

[AHardDaysNight]

I can't believe someone came on here asking about PUA stuff. 70% of David Deangelo's dating stuff is crap and manipulation. You have to sift though to find something of some value. Attraction is not a choice but when your choices are a pattern of bad relationships its time to find out your reason for attraction and change it. Most of these guy focus on specific nuance of interactions with women. Most nerds myself included love detailed instructions. Yeah I am a nerd I have a BS in computer science, love star wars, star trek (Captain Kirk ultimate alpha male), and anime. I work as a nurse now and my experience in nursing school and working in the nursing profession made me realize its not really that hard to get women. The main thing is you have to cut the bulls**t. If you like her say it and if they want to friend zone move on. You are only friend zoned because you want to be there. There are too many women out here to be worrying about one woman who friend zoned you. If you want sex say it all she can say is yes or no. You men got balls so use them and get out here and meet some women have a good time and get laid but be honest about your intentions

 

Thanks dude!

 

You're right, us guys need to get over the rejection, and just ask out women.

[ChessPieceFace]

Boy, you sure like typing words.

[joystickd]

Thanks dude!

 

You're right, us guys need to get over the rejection, and just ask out women.

Hell yeah! its not that hard to do

[Woggle]

I don't want to defend people like this but I do agree that many of the victims are very willing in these cases.

[joystickd]

I don't want to defend people like this but I do agree that many of the victims are very willing in these cases.

 

The article I think was titled that to get attention. Its not really defending them but showing the "victim" has some involvement

[Star Gazer]

Didn't you already post this thread?

[marsha80]

Joystickd, I hear ya... some guys feel the need to peacock their material possessions to a woman. Then, they complain that they keep meeting gold diggers - wow, get out, really??!!??

 

Here it is -- you will catch the fish you bait. if your bait is $$ guess who's hungry for it?

[joystickd]

Didn't you already post this thread?

Look at date of thread please. I responded to what someone said. Its preferred that if you don't have any input that goes with the thread that you shouldn't respond at all. Have a great day