crackster Posted October 26, 2011 Posted October 26, 2011 Ok People i just been on a date i no its soon... over two month break-up over 1 month NC - if u no me u know what happend any ways she ended it by text saying i dont love you.. blah blah heard nothing since!.. any ways... it was nice to go out with a friend (ex work colleague) .. we went out for somthing to eat then when to see Paranormal Activity 3 (which is ****!) any ways me and my ex used to go cinema like once a week we love movies and we seen the other 2 to it! it was nice to go out and have some female company! and she really likes me and i am attracted to her. but of course am still crazy mad in love with me ex! and i really got upset in side that i was watching the movie without me ex.. and just the little things like the way we put the arm rest up and hug and the way she made me tickle her arm.. well every thing .. i just could not get my ex of my mind! i thought i was getting better! sorry about pointless post i just needed to get it out there! thanks
headsashed Posted October 26, 2011 Posted October 26, 2011 i know where ur coming from mate,i got chatting to a new girl on saturday ad it went great until my ex entered my head,it ruined it,im only 6 weeks into my BU so i think it was too soon,but atleast i had fun and so did you,shows you still have the mojo though doesnt it? to take another girl out,so really you are winning,just keep doing it as i will and im sure our ex's will soon leave our minds and we can enjoy the company of a new girl
Chi townD Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 Mistake number one. You shouldn't have taken your date out to do something that you and your Ex enjoyed doing. Mistake number two. Don't start dating until you're ready. Because if you're not ready, then you're not being fair to yourself and you're certainly not being fair to the girl you're dating.
AlisaMarie Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 I think that it's fine that you went on a date. Of course it's not going to feel good at first. You have to get out there and get over it! The first person you date probably won't be the person you'll be with forever, but it's a stepping stone to get over a breakup. I always call good guy friends or ex boyfriends that I remained friends with. They take me out but I don't expect anything and I get a little bit of an ego boost. You will be alright... work at your own pace.
Buttercup84 Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 My first date after my breakup made me so depressed . I kept comparing the guy to my ex , we had no chemistry . I'm not going to date for a long time
Author crackster Posted October 27, 2011 Author Posted October 27, 2011 i know where ur coming from mate,i got chatting to a new girl on saturday ad it went great until my ex entered my head,it ruined it,im only 6 weeks into my BU so i think it was too soon,but atleast i had fun and so did you,shows you still have the mojo though doesnt it? to take another girl out,so really you are winning,just keep doing it as i will and im sure our ex's will soon leave our minds and we can enjoy the company of a new girl Yeah its good am getting out there and having a little fun. glad your getting there to mate. Mistake number one. You shouldn't have taken your date out to do something that you and your Ex enjoyed doing. Mistake number two. Don't start dating until you're ready. Because if you're not ready, then you're not being fair to yourself and you're certainly not being fair to the girl you're dating. But i was with her over 2 years we did every thing! i could think off and enjoyed every thing i did with her so there's not really different i go do with this girl lol
headsashed Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 But i was with her over 2 years we did every thing! i could think off and enjoyed every thing i did with her so there's not really different i go do with this girl lol I was with my ex for 2 years too,we also did everything together,we live in a small village so everything around here reminds me of her and what we did together,so its hard for me to avoid things,even though people may say its best to avoid places with your ex because it will trigger memories,well,what about the opposite? you know the saying "to over come a fear you must face that fear" well i have no choice really and thats how im having to deal with things. Its not easy either but well,thats life unfortunately.
Chi townD Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 But i was with her over 2 years we did every thing! i could think off and enjoyed every thing i did with her so there's not really different i go do with this girl lol Oh? You've done everything? Okay check the ones off my list. 1. horseback riding 2. one of those shops you make and paint you're own pottery. 3. Cooking class for couples 4. salsa dancing lesson. 5. Go bowling and play for the lowest score, you can only use your non-dominant hand. 6. Go to a Comedy Club 7. Every town or village is having festivals now. Take her to a pumpkin patch. Haunted house! Or Art Festival. 8. Go to the Rocky Horror Picture Show. 9. Go to a dueling piano bar 10. Take her to an antique shop, or a older part of town (not ghetto) that has unusual shops. That's just 10 ideas. Now, you may have done a few things on that list, but I'm sure you haven't done them all!
Author crackster Posted October 27, 2011 Author Posted October 27, 2011 Oh? You've done everything? Okay check the ones off my list. 1. horseback riding 2. one of those shops you make and paint you're own pottery. 3. Cooking class for couples 4. salsa dancing lesson. 5. Go bowling and play for the lowest score, you can only use your non-dominant hand. 6. Go to a Comedy Club 7. Every town or village is having festivals now. Take her to a pumpkin patch. Haunted house! Or Art Festival. 8. Go to the Rocky Horror Picture Show. 9. Go to a dueling piano bar 10. Take her to an antique shop, or a older part of town (not ghetto) that has unusual shops. That's just 10 ideas. Now, you may have done a few things on that list, but I'm sure you haven't done them all! True... i not done all that. thanks for ideas tho
Chi townD Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 yeah, I didn't mean for it to sound like I was busting on you. The point I was getting at is if you enjoyed taking the Ex to dinner and a movie, then taking someone else to the same events will only trigger memories of the good times that you had with your Ex, and it makes the date seem wrong and unbalanced. If you're feeling it, your date will feel it too. However, you you make plans for a unique date and to show a new girl that you can be fun (and they'll eat up the fact that you put a lot of thought and effort into the date),they'll appreicate it more and will be looking forward to that second date if you ask them.
Author crackster Posted October 27, 2011 Author Posted October 27, 2011 yeah, I didn't mean for it to sound like I was busting on you. The point I was getting at is if you enjoyed taking the Ex to dinner and a movie, then taking someone else to the same events will only trigger memories of the good times that you had with your Ex, and it makes the date seem wrong and unbalanced. If you're feeling it, your date will feel it too. However, you you make plans for a unique date and to show a new girl that you can be fun (and they'll eat up the fact that you put a lot of thought and effort into the date),they'll appreicate it more and will be looking forward to that second date if you ask them. Thanks mate. I dunno if i should be dating tho.. i still really love my ex and to be honest am am not putting to much effort as i could with this girl.. cos i feel like every thing am doing am comparing her to my ex. i just dont think i can have any feelings 4 any one atm. but its nice to be around her. as she is a friend she knows that i have just got out of this long relationship. and she happy just going out as mates.. but is this unfair on her.. i think it might be
Chi townD Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 Thanks mate. I dunno if i should be dating tho.. i still really love my ex and to be honest am am not putting to much effort as i could with this girl.. cos i feel like every thing am doing am comparing her to my ex. i just dont think i can have any feelings 4 any one atm. but its nice to be around her. as she is a friend she knows that i have just got out of this long relationship. and she happy just going out as mates.. but is this unfair on her.. i think it might be There's nothing wrong with going out and having a good time. Just because you got out of a relationship doesn't mean that you have to become a recluse. The best revenge you can get on an Ex is to live a good life. You are absolutely right. You shouldn't date, I mean SERIOUSLY date with the intention of getting into a long term thing, then you shouldn't. It's not being fair to you or the girl you date. But, you should NEVER put your life on hold or not go out and have a good time. Time heals, dude. Just give it time.
Author crackster Posted October 27, 2011 Author Posted October 27, 2011 There's nothing wrong with going out and having a good time. Just because you got out of a relationship doesn't mean that you have to become a recluse. The best revenge you can get on an Ex is to live a good life. You are absolutely right. You shouldn't date, I mean SERIOUSLY date with the intention of getting into a long term thing, then you shouldn't. It's not being fair to you or the girl you date. But, you should NEVER put your life on hold or not go out and have a good time. Time heals, dude. Just give it time. Thanks for your advice mate. appreciate it
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