theguiltyone Posted October 26, 2011 Posted October 26, 2011 So my bf of over a year (long distance) just moved in with me 2 weeks ago. I haven't felt the same about him since we have been closer, but I know he is a good man and I love him for our similarities. We have been through a lot, working the long distance, even not seeing each other for 3 months at a time. I just feel like I should keep trying to make it work because he made all the effort to live with me. I would feel awful to break up with him and watch him pack up everything he just moved in. I know I sound selfish, but I only think its fair to him since I don't feel the same. What should I do? I've been stressing about this since he moved in. Please help.
wilsonx Posted October 26, 2011 Posted October 26, 2011 (edited) I read this thread and immediately thought "I Love you but Im not in love with you anymore" and you know what my first thought was? There's another guy. My first thought because that is ALWAYS the case. There was a post yesterday about this jumping the fence is the word she used but she did not want to make herself look guilty but people like you are cowards. I spotted it in that post yesterday the "Ambivalent" post because how she was blaming him for all his wrong doings but would not accept positive criticism towards him. That's another "I love you but im not in love with you anymore" and shes not telling the whole truth either just like you arent now. Its funny how if you really pay attention to what people say, you can catch them. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t304066/ This is your post. IF you are going to post in a breakup forum, tell the whole ****ing truth and dont be a selfish coward to look for that validation needed to end the relationship because you are guilty of doing something wrong and wont admit it to yourself and someone you are in a relationship with. Want to know the answer, stop lying and tell him the truth and let him make a decision based on your lies and cowardice. Its called communication, something you lack. Edited October 26, 2011 by wilsonx
MizHoney2U Posted October 26, 2011 Posted October 26, 2011 I totally agree with wilsonx.... you got issues.
Thieves Posted October 26, 2011 Posted October 26, 2011 So my bf of over a year (long distance) just moved in with me 2 weeks ago. I haven't felt the same about him since we have been closer, but I know he is a good man and I love him for our similarities. We have been through a lot, working the long distance, even not seeing each other for 3 months at a time. I just feel like I should keep trying to make it work because he made all the effort to live with me. I would feel awful to break up with him and watch him pack up everything he just moved in. I know I sound selfish, but I only think its fair to him since I don't feel the same. What should I do? I've been stressing about this since he moved in. Please help. TheGuiltyOne... I'm sorry, honey, but I have to also agree with Wilson. You did not post a link in this thread to your "story" that explained all that happened, so if we were to give you advice, none of it would've been legit since we didn't know everything. When cheating is involved, it's a different story. I believe you know what you did was wrong, so I don't need to preach to you about it. But if you're looking for validation from others here so that you won't feel as bad for breaking up with him, then I'm afraid you might be out of luck. You should've told him about the cheating before you started making plans to live together. You've already waited long enough to tell him, so you need to as soon as possible. It doesn't matter if he just moved in, I'm sure he'd be just as hurt and devastated if he learned about this two or three months down the line while still living with you. You do sound selfish, and it isn't fair to him, so yes. Tell him. He deserves to know the truth.
M2155 Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 If I were him, all you can do is come clean with how you feel about me. If the other guy is still in the picture I'd probably walk. If he's not then yeah perhaps he could give it a chance but it doesn't sound like you are 100% so you guys need to make a decision because it will only get worse. Before WilsonX called you out I would have said I can see how that happens (it happened to me once) if it's always been a LDR but you might adjust once the other person makes a life for themself in the new environment.
EgoJoe Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 WIIIILSON SMAAAAASH! RAAAAAAAH! EgoJoe: Oh No, don't break the stereo we can sell that! Ah man don't bust out all the drywall, oh shiiiiiit I can't believe you just started beating that broad with a crowbar?!?! Anyways, anecdotes aside. It takes alot to come forward and ask for advice and help etc. but the double posts to avoid the details etc. is pretty tacky. Looks like you got horny and physical with another dude and now you miss the excitement. Way to value dude who sacrificed to be with you. You're a real catch. BUT you can become a better person...if you want to be. We all make mistakes and it is within your power to walk the high road and face the consequences of your actions while valueing a guy who clearly values you. It's up to you...therapy would be a good idea too.
Lis007 Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 I haven't read the other responses... Don't jump in if you are not sure - help find his own place and date a while. Its hard to make a lifetime commitment when you haven't spent time together. I dont think its a matter of I love you but not in love anymore because you havent really ever had the chance to build a relationship. Everything you have is based on perception... So now be patient and see if its a reality. It certainly isn't breaking up its just taking things at a realistic pace.
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