futuregopher Posted October 26, 2011 Posted October 26, 2011 Has LS helped you or hurt you with your troubles? It's been nearly three months since my ex-gf of two years broke up with me with no wrongdoing on either end. I was addicted to this site when I first joined in September. For the first couple of weeks of October, I was starting to feel a little better about things but it feels like I've regressed a bit this past week because I've been checking up on this site again. This site has helped me out a lot but I've seen a post by "CaliGuy" where he said he was never coming back because he wanted to be in a place where he didn't need LS's help anymore. What do you guys think?
kittenkit Posted October 26, 2011 Posted October 26, 2011 I came on here 2 years ago when I broke up with my fiance. This site was REALLY helpful. I didn't stay on that long - when I started to feel better I stopped logging on. I just broke up with my boyfriend and I felt like coming back on here. It's good to read other people's stories, to remind yourself that it happens every day to perfectly lovely people and it's something most of us experience at one point or another. But I wouldn't want to stay here and dwell on it forever. For me it's useful only as a short term thing.
BLuvv Posted October 26, 2011 Posted October 26, 2011 I think it has helped. It gave me a place to vent and find people who really understand what I am going through. There are some very helpful people and they give great advice. I'm far from healed, but it's just that it's up to me to do the work to move on. No one here can change or fix your problems, that's up to the individual. But sometimes I just want someone to chat with when the people in my life are sick of listening to me and they give an outside perspective that is often fresh and different than people who know me and my ex will give me. The only bad thing are a few trolls I have been seeing, but honestly they aren't worth responding to because I just don't think people who can not share a different viewpoint without resorting to insults and swearing are very intelligent. I am all for hearing different views and even perfectly okay to have people disagree, I think it's good to have some debate, luckily most people on LS have really great insights. Some of it is hard to hear at times, but change is not an easy thing.
CaliGuy Posted November 9, 2011 Posted November 9, 2011 This site has helped me out a lot but I've seen a post by "CaliGuy" where he said he was never coming back because he wanted to be in a place where he didn't need LS's help anymore. I think over the past 4-5 years I've been more of a contributor than a "user" of LS. I don't come around often anymore simply because everything I've posted can pretty much address most issues people have here (and issues I worked out myself). So in a sense your post is true but that was many years ago. I like to chime in if I can help occasionally but all people have to do is click the two links on my signature and most of the answers are there. Cheers!
PelicanPete Posted November 9, 2011 Posted November 9, 2011 I think LS is great for people who are experiencing emotional troubles [like breakups] and lack direction on how to deal with them. There are a lot of helpful and positive members on this forum that can help you get back on your feet. However I think once you reach a certain point in coping, and you have all the information that you need, you need to leave the safety of the nest and apply what you have learned to your life on your own. I know from personal experience I found constantly posting and checking LS actually prevented me from healing and moving on, mainly because it became too comfortable venting and grieving over my situation. So take the heroes journey and travel the caverns of your emotions solo. LS can give you direction, but essentially you have to take the trip by yourself. When your adventure is over, and you come out on the other side, you may feel the urge to return to the familiar and share your newly acquired wisdom .
threebyfate Posted November 9, 2011 Posted November 9, 2011 LS has a few excellent subforums like break up and coping. Once you're beyond those stages, the watercooler should be the place to get back onto your feet and learn how to socialize in a positive way. Unfortunately, the devolution of the balance of subforums have proven to be emotionally unhealthy for most. There appears to be a subset of ego-driven posters who've inflicted their emotionally unhealthy internal climates onto others.
mike588 Posted November 9, 2011 Posted November 9, 2011 I've been on L.S. for for around 2 months now and it has been a tremendous help for me. I am slowly reaching the point of leaving because most if not all questions/curiousity has been answered. I stick around now returning the help that was given me and haven't made any new threads in awhile. One thing I really learned was the N.C. rule and how well it helps you heal and move on and I suggest everyone follow that rule. I'm only 3 months of N.C. and have made great progress,,, I hate to think where I'd be if I haven't.
Beachgirl8 Posted November 9, 2011 Posted November 9, 2011 LS has helped me a LOT. I've learned a ton from reading the stories and advice on here. It's changed some of the ways I approach relationships and dating, and reinforced some of the things I've always thought. It's made me think about things I'd never previously considered. I don't come from a family that taught me anything about these things, and I am very appreciative to have this resource to learn from.
ken_25 Posted November 9, 2011 Posted November 9, 2011 It's helped me quite a bit, however I have felt the need to take a break from logging on so much.
TheDovic Posted November 9, 2011 Posted November 9, 2011 Personally I don't know if I'd still be here without this site. The support and advice from people experiencing what I was going through has been invaluable. So in this respect it has helped me. As I've started to heal I haven't needed it as much so I don't come on everyday, however I was posting at least 5 times daily for about three months. Although I'm not on often now, I still like to know it's here for me! I think it is possible to become addicted to it, but the fact is one day we will all move on and won't need it anymore. I'm just glad it's here when I do still need some support!!!
Author futuregopher Posted November 9, 2011 Author Posted November 9, 2011 I think over the past 4-5 years I've been more of a contributor than a "user" of LS. I don't come around often anymore simply because everything I've posted can pretty much address most issues people have here (and issues I worked out myself). So in a sense your post is true but that was many years ago. I like to chime in if I can help occasionally but all people have to do is click the two links on my signature and most of the answers are there. Cheers! Oh wow! CaliGuy!! Yes, I believe that post was a very long time ago. I came across that post/thread when I googled "CaliGuy second chances" a couple of months ago. It's very cool to have your insight on this thread haha
USMCHokie Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 Unfortunately, the devolution of the balance of subforums have proven to be emotionally unhealthy for most. There appears to be a subset of ego-driven posters who've inflicted their emotionally unhealthy internal climates onto others. Agreed. LS helped me tremendously in trying to get over my breakup from two years ago, but since then, I feel like it has only confused the hell out of me in trying to move forward and figure out myself...
CaliGuy Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 Oh wow! CaliGuy!! Yes, I believe that post was a very long time ago. I came across that post/thread when I googled "CaliGuy second chances" a couple of months ago. It's very cool to have your insight on this thread haha You're welcome. It's rare that I am back on here. Kind of like the guy.... now I can't remember his name but he had a pretty darn good thread on moving on after a breakup. He was pretty famous here and he came back a few times to say hi and check in. Wish I could remember his alias now, lol. That's what a near death experience can do to you (and brain surgery and lengthy recovery and a move to the East Coast, lol). CaliGuy is doing fine and enjoying life -- single as ever and happy with it
jerbear Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 You're welcome. It's rare that I am back on here. Kind of like the guy.... now I can't remember his name but he had a pretty darn good thread on moving on after a breakup. He was pretty famous here and he came back a few times to say hi and check in. Wish I could remember his alias now, lol. That's what a near death experience can do to you (and brain surgery and lengthy recovery and a move to the East Coast, lol). CaliGuy is doing fine and enjoying life -- single as ever and happy with it I believe the name is No_foolin?
MIK1000 Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 I reckon I might be slightly addicted to it. I come on here and read stuff just as much as I'm on Facebook and I think it's purely out of boredom because I'm only working part time at the moment. I find myself reading threads just to see if the EX came back to give myself comfort that mine will. I think I need to make myself only come on here when I need advice about my ex contacting me or something of that nature. It still has helped a lot though.
Feelin Frisky Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 This site has helped me greatly in several ways. I admit that I should be doing other things often when instead I'm noodling around in here, but it always feels good to share understanding of things and maybe even help someone. I have come to really like a lot of LSers, love one as a great friend and am "in love" (for as much as is possible through technology) with another LSer, my sweetheart FL, who makes every day a joy. Lub Shack hab been berry berry good to me. No sour grapes. Cheers my friends.
Forever Learning Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 This site has helped me greatly in several ways. I admit that I should be doing other things often when instead I'm noodling around in here, but it always feels good to share understanding of things and maybe even help someone. I have come to really like a lot of LSers, love one as a great friend and am "in love" (for as much as is possible through technology) with another LSer, my sweetheart FL, who makes every day a joy. Lub Shack hab been berry berry good to me. No sour grapes. Cheers my friends. Sweetheart, you are my pride and joy as well. My heaven too. Hope to be your Forever, forever :love:
johan Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 There appears to be a subset of ego-driven posters who've inflicted their emotionally unhealthy internal climates onto others. Its really the only way I like to post though. Is it so bad? I think they recover from it ok.
USMCHokie Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 Its really the only way I like to post though. Is it so bad? I think they recover from it ok. There's actually a special corner of my room where I cry myself to sleep after I read one of your posts in my threads. I usually feel a little better in the morning.
johan Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 I know it's difficult, but it's always for the best. It hurts you a lot more than it hurts me.
threebyfate Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 Agreed. LS helped me tremendously in trying to get over my breakup from two years ago, but since then, I feel like it has only confused the hell out of me in trying to move forward and figure out myself...The more you try to be someone else or try to fit yourself into someone else's box, the less likely you'll feel fulfilled. Authenticity really matters and will resonate clearly to others. Its really the only way I like to post though. Is it so bad? I think they recover from it ok.I dunno. You have a pretty high body count left behind.
CaliGuy Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 I believe the name is No_foolin? No_Foolin, that's it. Yeah, I think a lot of people need to check the archives for his posts. His were genius!
carhill Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 What do you guys think? It's been a valuable resource to assist in both establishing healthier boundaries as well as picking more compatible people to invest in. I really see the benefits in the circle of friends I've migrated to as a result. Also, reading others perspectives has helped me make a lot of sense about confusing parts of my past marriage and facilitated more complete closure. So, I'd say it's been a positive for me even though I've never really brought my 'problems' here in an active way.
USMCHokie Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 The more you try to be someone else or try to fit yourself into someone else's box, the less likely you'll feel fulfilled. Authenticity really matters and will resonate clearly to others. Yea, I know...I spent a better part of the last year trying to fit perfectly into someone else's box...so much so that I don't even know what is truly authentic anymore...
ffw Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 Yes, No_Foolin, one can find his awesome guide under Carhill name. Its called "LS guide of no contact".
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